- I think the people typing the captions for David Letterman are lazy. Or just very slow typists. They've typed the same sentence three times. With spelling mistakes.
- The spelling mistakes are sort of making me crazy.
- The bloggers commenting that they eat the Special Dark first... don't live on the same planet as me. I can't stand the Special Dark. Good thing I didn't write that in the blog. I might have offended some Special Dark fans. Good thing I didn't add that I seriously think they need to redesign the entire Mini Bar blend because as far as I'm concerned it's only worth it to eat the Krackle and then the plain Hershey's. Good thing I didn't also say that I think they make those mini mixes because they need to find someone to take the extra Mr. Goodbar and Special Dark off their hands. Yes, good thing I didn't say any of that.
- If my genius neighbors wake Alice up with their louder than dirt fireworks, I'm going to poke out my eye.
- On second thought, maybe it would be better to march over there and poke out their eyes.
- Million dollar idea: a service that will track down the noisy neighborhood teenage hoodlum contingent in about ten years, setting off a large portion of firecrackers and horrid squealy things in front of their 4-month-old daughter's window. At midnight. When she's trying to sleep. And when they (the parent, the former noisy neighborhood teenage hoodlum) are operating on 3 hours of sleep while also nursing a cold that WILL NOT DIE. And then the service would leave a little note on their front doorstep "courtesy of someone you once knew". Yes, total million dollar idea.
- Sometimes, I swear I can hear the TV even though it's on mute. I either have Super Spider Hearing (unlikely) or am just Crazy (much more likely).
- Are the noisy neighborhood teenage hoodlums KIDDING ME? With the M-80's or whatever that racket is????
- Dude. I wonder how many people are going to read through this entire entry to find the contest winner, of if they're going to skip all my brilliant thoughts and just skim to the bottom.
- In addition to my new million dollar idea, I might need to start a brand new trend of DAYTIME FIREWORKS. I'm much more on board with this idea. I wouldn't have to try to insulate the sleeping child from the racket. Come on neighborhood teenage hoodlum contingent! How CRAZY would THAT be? You can still be a hoodlum at 2 in the afternoon! (And then sleep when it gets dark because doing the fireworks during daylight hours is the new black!)
- The benedryl might be taking effect.
And... winner of the contest for either the fantabulous taggie blanket (baby theme package) OR the handmade cards (other theme package - the theme being fantastic but not baby-related) is....
FIONA PICKLEBOTTOM of MOVE ALONG - THERE'S NOTHING TO SEE HERE!!!
The best part of Fiona being the winner is that she was one of those fine folk who never win anything. And now she DID!!!! Here at The Creamery. That should make her a reader for life, don't you think? Now Fiona will get to pick which package she'd like, and once I get it out to her (in about a week), she'll post a picture of her winnings AND also start her own pay it forward contest. Yay!
Friday, July 4, 2008
Thursday, July 3, 2008
alice at four months
These are the moments when magic happens:
- When Alice is laying on my chest, smiling at me for all she's worth. Smiling like that because she's looking at me, her mom.
- When Alice is rolling over for the first time. The house is quiet except for my clapping and squealing and yay-ing like I've just won the lottery. And when she rolls over again. And again. And again. (And even again later, showing off for daddy.) We are so proud.
- When Alice is grabbing things (my hair, my glasses, her butterfly toy from Auntie Stacie, her taggie blanket). I tell her that we need to work on her grabbing things like laundry and dishes. And then putting them away. How COOL would that be???
- When Alice is talking. We imagine that she's telling us about her dreams. The places she sees behind her eyelids must be wonderful because she has a lot to say.
- When I can anticipate Alice's moods. I adore how well I know this little creature, and how she can still surprise me.
- When she is so content to be in Chip's arms. How he carries her around the house like she's a princess. How they are developing their own special bond.
There is magic in every moment with Alice. It has been a wonderful four months.
- When Alice is laying on my chest, smiling at me for all she's worth. Smiling like that because she's looking at me, her mom.
- When Alice is rolling over for the first time. The house is quiet except for my clapping and squealing and yay-ing like I've just won the lottery. And when she rolls over again. And again. And again. (And even again later, showing off for daddy.) We are so proud.
- When Alice is grabbing things (my hair, my glasses, her butterfly toy from Auntie Stacie, her taggie blanket). I tell her that we need to work on her grabbing things like laundry and dishes. And then putting them away. How COOL would that be???
- When Alice is talking. We imagine that she's telling us about her dreams. The places she sees behind her eyelids must be wonderful because she has a lot to say.
- When I can anticipate Alice's moods. I adore how well I know this little creature, and how she can still surprise me.
- When she is so content to be in Chip's arms. How he carries her around the house like she's a princess. How they are developing their own special bond.
There is magic in every moment with Alice. It has been a wonderful four months.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
at the end of all things
My friend The Wife is nearing the end of her pregnancy. Lo, not just NEARING, she's AT the end of her pregnancy and she's coming to terms with what it means. What it means to be transformed from Pregnant Woman to Mother - from couple to triad - from this other thing that she's been all her life to something we can never fully comprehend until we're holding that little person for the first time.
In times like these, I naturally turn to Lord of the Rings. There is a point when two of the main characters, Frodo and Sam, bloodied and beaten - their bodies and minds compressed to dust from the sheer effort it has taken to reach the end of their journey. They have fulfilled their quest, a job that no one should have been able to do, but they have done it. They are laying on the side of the mountain of fire with no hope of escape, finally at peace that their journey is over. Frodo is so glad to be there with Sam, at the end of all things. (And this is where The Wife comes in, as she is at The End...)
Sam and Frodo - it is at this point that they finally comprehend the job they had to do, and how they accepted it without a full understanding of it's difficulty or complexity. And even as those challenges and heartaches showed themselves along the journey, they never did give up or give in. They are weary. They are ready to succumb. But they are also purified. They are clear with their purpose. They are empty of any more confusion. They are at peace and it is finally okay to let go and accept their End. And this is when Gandalf appears with the eagles that sweep them up up up into the clear blue sky - above the dirt and the ashes and the fire - taking them to a place of unutterable beauty.
I think of The Wife, how she is now comprehending the job she and The Husband have been doing, and how they accepted it without a full understanding of it's difficulty or complexity. And I'm so damn proud of them - that even as they have faced challenges and heartaches they have pushed forward so bravely. I know that The Wife is weary. And as she faces childbirth (in whatever form it may take), I know that she will reach a point when she lets go in faith and puts her trust in Heavenly Father - and she will succumb to whatever fate awaits her. I know that at that moment, when everything else is burned away, she will look to this child with his fierce beauty and rise above the dirt and the ashes and the fire.
Here, at the End of All Things, it's also the Beginning.
In times like these, I naturally turn to Lord of the Rings. There is a point when two of the main characters, Frodo and Sam, bloodied and beaten - their bodies and minds compressed to dust from the sheer effort it has taken to reach the end of their journey. They have fulfilled their quest, a job that no one should have been able to do, but they have done it. They are laying on the side of the mountain of fire with no hope of escape, finally at peace that their journey is over. Frodo is so glad to be there with Sam, at the end of all things. (And this is where The Wife comes in, as she is at The End...)
Sam and Frodo - it is at this point that they finally comprehend the job they had to do, and how they accepted it without a full understanding of it's difficulty or complexity. And even as those challenges and heartaches showed themselves along the journey, they never did give up or give in. They are weary. They are ready to succumb. But they are also purified. They are clear with their purpose. They are empty of any more confusion. They are at peace and it is finally okay to let go and accept their End. And this is when Gandalf appears with the eagles that sweep them up up up into the clear blue sky - above the dirt and the ashes and the fire - taking them to a place of unutterable beauty.
I think of The Wife, how she is now comprehending the job she and The Husband have been doing, and how they accepted it without a full understanding of it's difficulty or complexity. And I'm so damn proud of them - that even as they have faced challenges and heartaches they have pushed forward so bravely. I know that The Wife is weary. And as she faces childbirth (in whatever form it may take), I know that she will reach a point when she lets go in faith and puts her trust in Heavenly Father - and she will succumb to whatever fate awaits her. I know that at that moment, when everything else is burned away, she will look to this child with his fierce beauty and rise above the dirt and the ashes and the fire.
Here, at the End of All Things, it's also the Beginning.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
and there's this contest thing going on
Besides the bogey nose sucker avoidance, we've got this nifty CONTEST... deadline for entering is Friday!
only in dreams
What do you think babies dream about? Milk and chewy fingers and their parents' faces. Smiling green froggies and colorful taggie blankets and someone nibbling on their toes. It's hard to imagine that too much has happened in the (nearly) four months Alice has been alive that would prompt her to have nightmares, but amidst all her dreams, she has the bad variety too. For the longest time we've tried to imagine what could be haunting her, what could be so very terrible to wake her form a sound sleep crying - her face crumpling up into itself in a pinky red mess: lower lip jutting out, eyes squinting into little slits, big tears collecting in puddles on her cheeks. Some of our nightmare theories have included giant sadistic blankets coming to wrap her in the night, a demonic bottle that appears full but won't give her any milk no matter now hard she sucks, and the dreaded Moby - wrapped around her body so tight she can't see over her mommy's shoulder!!! Duh duh DAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Terrible, I know.
After all our theories, I finally came up with the real answer, the thing that haunts a baby's dreams, threatening her with it's looming presence.
I think that the babies have some kind of secret Baby Bogey sucker 101 seminar in the hospital (complete with flowcharts and a whiteboard with Tips for Avoiding the Sucking of the Bogeys). It's either that or they are just born with the innate hatred of the baby bogey sucker thingie as is traditional for NATURAL ENEMIES. I swear Alice has some serious ninja skills when it comes to avoiding the bogey sucker thingie and its entrance into her nose holes.
It appears that the actual scientific name of the blue baby bogey sucker thingie is BABY BOOGER SUCKER because that's what I entered to find it in Google.
And let me just add that I found some other frightening bogey devices on Amazon.
Such as the Baby Nasal Aspirator Vacuum Suction. Huh?
Are we really serious about this Japan? Because.... REALLY? Baby Nose Cleaning Tweezers.
Yes, they are serious about it. Deathly serious. Check out that IMAGE with the MOM SUCKING THE BOGEYS OUT OF BABY'S NOSE. WITH HER MOUTH.
Apparently, everything is made better with batteries. Including bogey sucking.
And I'm sorry, but making it into the jaunty SHAPE OF A BEAR with the name of BENJAMIN BEAR isn't going to change Alice's innate desire NOT to have something shoved up her nose. I'm just saying.
After all our theories, I finally came up with the real answer, the thing that haunts a baby's dreams, threatening her with it's looming presence.
I think that the babies have some kind of secret Baby Bogey sucker 101 seminar in the hospital (complete with flowcharts and a whiteboard with Tips for Avoiding the Sucking of the Bogeys). It's either that or they are just born with the innate hatred of the baby bogey sucker thingie as is traditional for NATURAL ENEMIES. I swear Alice has some serious ninja skills when it comes to avoiding the bogey sucker thingie and its entrance into her nose holes.
It appears that the actual scientific name of the blue baby bogey sucker thingie is BABY BOOGER SUCKER because that's what I entered to find it in Google.
And let me just add that I found some other frightening bogey devices on Amazon.
Such as the Baby Nasal Aspirator Vacuum Suction. Huh?
Are we really serious about this Japan? Because.... REALLY? Baby Nose Cleaning Tweezers.
Yes, they are serious about it. Deathly serious. Check out that IMAGE with the MOM SUCKING THE BOGEYS OUT OF BABY'S NOSE. WITH HER MOUTH.
Apparently, everything is made better with batteries. Including bogey sucking.
And I'm sorry, but making it into the jaunty SHAPE OF A BEAR with the name of BENJAMIN BEAR isn't going to change Alice's innate desire NOT to have something shoved up her nose. I'm just saying.
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