Once upon a time, I had me some Minions. Oh dude, if you've never had Minions, you definitely need to try it, because a nice posse of Minions is FANTASTIC. We were one glorious group of weird folks and we had a lot of fun together: group birthday party (how is it POSSIBLE that we were all born in JANUARY?), loud restaurant get-togethers, odd and strangely hilarious late-night outings to Target, numerous movie adventures (with ACTION FIGURES, OH MY WORD)... anyway we're all spread across the country now. In most cases, I'm happy to say that they're still my Minions, even if they're so far away.
My Minions... they are astounding women. Women of character. Women of strength. Women of tremendous humor. Women who kick some serious trash. And yet... isn't it funny how the world tends to beat these fabulous people down? The world doesn't recognize their greatness. Or if it does, it responds to their super powers with fear. These women, these Minions, they're CREAMY. Rich in depth and tenacity and truth and art.
I wrote these laws for my Minions. Because everyone needs a reminder to never compromise true beauty.
Tune in tomorrow for Law #1: Cream Knows Cream.