attention minions: gmboa time

Hello to the Minions! The GMBOA is available and up for grabs over at Chocolate on a Rainy Day. Act FAST, because I am late in alerting you and I'm hoping that Miss Rainyday won't hold it against you if you enter late.

Go here to get your grubby mitts on that fabulous golden box of gifties.

if you want to win something fabulous

.









Well hello there.





You may recall a little something called the Golden Minion Box of Awesomeness. It's been making the rounds through the Minions and its current stop is with Alicia, of fabulous Bethsix fame.





Ms. Alicia will be giving the GMBOA away on Monday, and I can't stress to you enough just how fun and silly and amazing she is. Which means that she gives absolutely spectacular packages away. Seriously.


I should probably add, that this box is sort of my personal childhood wish and by participating in this contest, you are giving me the gift of my personal childhood heart. I dreamt of releasing a balloon with my name and address tied on a string - watching it float into the upper atmosphere - and then on some distant day, getting a postcard from China or Mexico or maybe even NEW JERSEY saying that my balloon had been found drifting in some little girl's front yard and she couldn't BELIEVE how far my balloon had traveled. But my balloon never made it that far. I can't say it even ever made it farther than the powerlines down on Marguerita Avenue. But the GMBOA--- my dears, it has been in several different locations so far, and I can't tell you how much I want it to just keep traveling and traveling. Please do throw your hat in for the honor of hosting the box. You won't be disappointed.





So here's what you should do, if you're interested in picking up that GMBOA for your very own (and who wouldn't be, right?).


1. Make sure you're a follower here of The Creamery. Just go join down there on the right.


2. Visit Bethsix on Monday to enter to win.





May the luck of the Minions be with you.











And for your viewing pleasure, because it's nonsensical but also funny, this is what happens when you tell your two-year-old that she can sit on the bench with Elmo. And she happens to be very tired.

recipe

Combine:
1 painful neck/back/shoulder
1 wee 2-year-old girl antsy for a mommy that will move and bend and pick her up



Wisk in:
A generous handful of medical advice limiting movement, typing, running, yoga, reaching, grabbing, moving in general



Let sit for a week and watch the mixture begin to bubble and toil, friction in irritation.




As bubbles rise to the surface of the mixture, reach out for advice from the most sweet and wonderful Minions.



Read through each bit of perfect advice.

Fold them individually, one-by-one, into the mixture.

Allow them to slow the simmer---- cool it down, mellow it, sweeten it until the mixture is no longer a black angry mess.

If any tears are shed, make sure to capture each one and add them to the mix.



Continue to fold in the thoughtful advice.

Watch as the mixture begins to resemble cream.

Soft, marshmellowy, light-as-air cream.



Sprinkle with fresh perspective.








This is what it was like, that gift you gave me last week. Thank you for it. Thank you so very much.

project: find joy in the pavement cracks

I do believe she was looking for rocks when I took this picture. Rcoks are her current outdoor obsession. ROCKS ROCKS ROCKS!

Yesterday while eating lunch I found myself thinking about a line from the movie Elizabethtown. It's this one, from Susan Sarandon's character Holly.

She says, "But you know, I figured it out. It takes time to be funny... and it takes time to extract joy from life."

I want to think about that for a minute with you.

It takes time

to extract

joy

from life.

I wonder.

I know that you're busy. And tired. And probably feeling more than a little bit run down. I know that I have been feeling exactly those things-- nothing heavy, but a general late-spring malaise that eats the soul for breakfast and continues right on through the body until there is nothing left for dessert.

When I think about this idea, that being funny takes time--- that finding joy is a process that requires a commitment of focus--- it makes me feel like I've been a little lazy. That the past several weeks of heavy thinking are the result of a failure of my imagination.

I'm not naive enough to think that it's just a change of heart, a change of perspective, that will put the soul-sucking malaise monster to bed. But I do think that a general shift in understanding would do wonders for this here beat-down Whimsy. I'd like to propose an experiment, my Minions. A call to arms and a call to hope.

Anyone who even skims the briefest bits here at The Creamery knows that I hold a special place in my heart for pain, a quiet reverance for the refining fire of sadness and what it teaches us about being human. You should know that I do not make this suggestion lightly. But I think it might be good. For me, surely, but maybe for you.

I'm proposing a challenge. A journey. An attempt. Something new.

This invitation is extended to the dearest hardcore Minions and non-minions alike, to anyone who even stops by on the smallest most flighty whim.

To find joy. To extract it from each day. And to share it.

Here's how it's going to work:

For a week, beginning on Monday May 24th, I'm going to strive to find something joyful in my day. And I'm going to write about it. For a week I will do nothing but focus on extracting joy--- pulling it out from beneath the surface, coaxing it forward, digging for it if the situation requires.

I'd love for you to do the same. Email me or comment here if you're in for the ride - maybe you can't imagine posting about joy for an entire week. Try for a single day. If you tell me that you're playing along, I'll visit your blog and post links here of your inspiring stories. Don't forget to link back here, that way we can try to encourage others to join in the game.

At the end of the week (or two - I'm reserving the right to extend it if it's going well), I'm going to choose my favorite post that someone else has done and they will get a bonafide Whimsy Care Package. I've been told I am talented in the ways of the wily Care Package.

Of course this isn't about the goods, but in a true challenge to find joy, doesn't a package in the mail make things even more joyful?

What do you think? You can tell me it's a terrible idea, I will love you anyway and I will find something to smile about (your honesty).

attention all minions: gmboa contest sighting

We interrupt this Craft Week (new tutorial for today is just down below this post) to announce: the Golden Minion Box of Awesomeness contest is up and running over at Wandering Nana.

All Minions: GO FORTH AND CONQUER (or, you know: go enter that contest to be the next winner of that box).

For a reminder of the rules and such, go here.
For a reminder of what the heck IS a GMBOA, also go here.

Or ask one of the Minions, because by now, they ALL know what this is.



-Whimsy out.

unveiling the gmboa

Yesterday Bean and I made a very important delivery. She stayed in the car while I bestowed the goods on one excited Wandering Nana.

Presenting THE GOLDEN MINION BOX OF AWESOMENESS.

You want to win this box. I know you do. And you're going to have your chance to win the box from Wandering Nana when she holds a contest in the next few weeks. To help you follow the box I've introduced a new page here at The Creamery (see over there to the top right) AND I'll have an icon in the sidebar soon. As the box moves from Minion to Minion, I'll update the links.

Now. Some details, yes?

I mentioned way back when that there would be some rules that would follow the GMBOA. At long last, THE RULES.

. Each recipient of the box needs to add some decoration to it. Anything goes, as long as you don't affect the strength or integrity of the box.

. Only a MINION can win the box. To be a Minion, you need to be a follower here at The Creamery.

. The box can be filled with whatever you want to fill it with for a prize BUT it needs to include two things: some kind of action figure (however loosely you'd like to translate that) and a little miniature bottle/container. It's this THING with me, and I figured the box should have it too (thanks for the idea, WN!).

. In order for the box to keep moving, you need to hold a contest to send the box onto it's new recipient within three weeks of receiving it.

Now that I've filled you guys in on ALL the gory details, let's look at that pretty box again:

Soooooooo pretty.

Now. It's not like we're going to spend all day talking about the GMBOA today. So instead, let's talk about movies. One of which I'm hoping to persuade my husband to escort me to on Saturday evening. Anyone have a hearty recommendation? I'm thinking of Alice in Wonderland, for so many obvious reasons. But I'm willing to entertain other suggestions if you can make a really good argument. Let's hear it.

(Oh, and on Monday I have the BEST story to tell you about what happened after I delivered the box to Wandering Nana. She, Bean, and I went on a hair-raising adventure to the farthest reaches of the south Seattle shipyards. Dude. I... just... well. You'll have to wait until Monday.)

coming soon: craft week

Why hello there. How are you doing? We're fine, thank you. It would seem that fake food has taken over our living room (I found this onion sitting casually in the crack of the sofa), but otherwise: good here.

There have been a number of To Do items that have been neglected a little bit. Namely, getting the Minionlympics 2nd place prize package extravaganza to Alicia and the GMBOA to Wandering Nana. I did, however, deliver the 3rd place prize to a very excited Heidi. Angela was there to make the delivery with me, and she even offered up a rowsing rendition of the Olympic theme song (you know the one). One down, two to go.

The packages are being prettied up in the studio right now, which means they will be finally exiting the Last Homely House early next week. When that happens, I'll be posting some fun facts about the Golden Minion Box Of Awesomeness, because I know you've all been waiting with BAITED BREATH. (If you want backstory on the GMBOA, see here. Or read this: it's a moving prize box of awesomeness, soon to be in residence at Wandering Nana's. After a brief respite, she'll be holding a contest to give the box to the next Minion. Because you have to be a Minion --follower on the sidebar here-- to win it.)

Anyway! Packages: soon to go out. And at long (almost) last, I'll be getting my Etsy shop up and running. Have been sewing fast and furiously.

To announce the shop and linkage, I'll be hosting CRAFT WEEK here at The Creamery in a couple of weeks (starting Monday March 22, to be specific). What is Craft Week, you ask? A week of tutorials and how to from yours truly. Here is where YOU come in: either comment here or shoot me an email if there's something that you'd like to know (whimsyattack AT gmail DOT com). Hopefully I'll be able to choose a couple and show them here. So far, I'm thinking of doing a toddler t-shirt dress tutorial and a simple how to on those fairy flags. Thoughts? Comments?

That's the plan. Until then, it's life as usual here at The Creamery, which means, you know: not always so usual.

while the sun shines

Yesterday was one of those frighteningly infrequent February days of funshine (I mean SUNSHINE--- a bit carried away, there).

The inhabitants of the Last Homely House were drawn to windows near to the warm stuff.

Including me (I took a picture of my feet that will NEVER AGAIN see the light of day because Hoo Boy! Photographed feet are actually less pretty than In Real Life feet).

Beyond sunbathing, there was a lot of sewing-related activity. Which reminds me that I owe you some catch up nonsense. I don't know why sewing reminds me of this important task I have yet to cover, but there it is: a reminder.

On the docket of nonsense is an explanation about the Creamies. You could say I'm bragging, but I am choosing to believe I'm just being intensely factual when I tell you that I think they look fabulous. I've already said that a few times, you say? Fine. I'll tell you something new about them: they were originally bright green collpasable froggie men.

Really.

And then I had Chip gnaw the eyes off.

Just kidding! He surgically removed them. With a sharp knife. It was still a little weird and gory. (Even more gory: they actually sort of popped off once he cut around the painted parts.) Once their eyeballs were removed (I'm choosing to pronounce that word today as remove-ED, just because) --- they looked much more like little Creamie guys. But they had horrid little holes in their heads.

So I filled the holes with spackle. And then I sanded, sanded, sanded. And painted, painted, painted.

Until they looked like this.

So there you go, my in depth tutorial on turning a $1 collapsable froggie dude into a fantastic Creamie.

In other news, you should have heard the panic in Chip's voice when he called me from Portland yesterday. He had been reading all of your suggestions for Bean's 2nd birthday and was all I HOPE YOU REMEMBER THAT WE DON'T HAVE ANY ROOM WHATSOEVER FOR A PLAY KITCHEN. DON'T GET ANY IDEAS, LADY. To which I was all, Dude. I know. But your ideas were smashing - so smashing, in fact, that I think we're leaning toward the fake food / play pots & pans route. And maybe that card table tent.

Also in other news, I am stricken with some kind of free-floating ANXIETY. And when I say free floating, I mean it - because I have no idea where the ANXIETY is coming from and I have no idea what I can do to make it go away.

Apparently exercise is not the key, because yes, I'm still doing that. Yesterday Bean actually MADE me work out. I woke up feeling pretty UCK and just didn't want to bother. So I wasn't going to. Then we were downstairs and I was getting Bean her breakfast when she's all ESS-SER-SIZE? ESS-SER-SIZE? When I told her the bad news, that she wouldn't be wildly swinging her arms or rolling around on the floor with me today (because that's apparently how she interprets it-- lots of flailing arms, some rolling around, and some JUMPING). She FREAKED THE FREAK OUT. With the screaming of ESS-SER-SIZE!!!! And lots of exclamation points. So I did the flailing and rolling and jumping and all was well with our world.

Except for that anxiety. Which: yes, still here.

And you're still here. Because this is the post of nothing that WILL! NOT! END!

So I'm going to end it. Peace out, duders. Let's talk on Monday.

minionlympics I: closing ceremony

At the close of the first somewhat-annual Minionlympics, we pause to catch our collective mental breath--- and take this moment to reflect on the incredible things we've learned over these past eight days. We've learned that Whimsy cries when someone gives her a crockpot for her birthday (but she is also extremely practical and while she pitched the boy, she still has that crockpot). We've learned that it would be best to always KNOCK before walking in on Shelly Overlook. We've learned, along with Rose, that those wrap dresses are wily creatures. We've learned from Spadoman's hard-earned lesson that it is always best practice to ask your mother what picture she is going to display at your father's funeral. And we've learned that every single one of you are the funniest, sauciest, wittiest, sassiest, and creamiest Minions that a Whimsy could ever have.

Thank you for making the Minionlympics the rousing success that it was. You guys... have wowed me.

Wowed me to the point of desiring to make a Creamie for each and every Minion who took part in the Minionlympics. Alas and alack, time and resources and postage wouldn't allow for that. Instead, I made a magnet for each of you that wrote in with your Minion Cabinet Office. If you want one (it's small, but it's something, AND IT HAS YOUR CABINET OFFICE--- all except Midnight Rambler because I just couldn't bring myself to put Interim Phlegm Czar on a magnet, so dearie MR when you're feeling better and are fully able to occupy your more permanent Cabinet position, let me know what your title is and I'LL MAKE YOU A MAGNET). Anyway... if you'd like to claim your magnet and allow me to send you actual mail, email me your address (whimsyattack AT gmail DOT com).

Now without any further delay let's get to the much anticipated, long awaited, very opinionated, exceedingly creamivated AWARD WINNERS (though you're all winners, really truly you are).

The Bronze Creamie goes to our third place finisher...

Heidi.

Self-Proclaimed (but Whimsy named) Ambassador to the Four Legged Kingdom.

Buddy.

Mother.

And bus-driver extraordinaire.

Heidi has spent these rainy winter months furiously manipulating her typing fingers and practicing genuine blog commenting in preparation for these fine Minionlympics.

Her hard work paid off, and her valor will not quickly be forgotten.

Congratulations, Heidi!

The Silver Creamie goes to our second place finisher...

Alicia.

Mistress of Hindered Planning and Organization.

Delightfully intrepid.

Witty.

Sassy.

Wicked funny blogger.

And a darn fine mother to boot.

Alicia's efforts to go for Minionlympic gold were widely lauded by her inventive and determined group of fans, calling themselves Beth-heads for their fandom, following Alicia through the blogosphere in all her glory.

Despite her dogged determination to grab that Golden Minion Box of Awesomeness, Alicia showed true sportsmanship and grace - both winning Minion characteristics.

And the first Gold Creamie of the First Somewhat-Annual Minionlympics goes to none other than...

Wandering Nana.

Secretary of Discretion.

The picture of good hostessness.

Delightfully mischievous.

Contrary to her opinion, story teller extraordinaire.

Friend.

Grandparent.

And as evidenced by her overpowering core of fans--- FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH.

This is the woman you want on your team. And we are lucky. Because she's on ours.

Congratulations, Wandering Nana!

(And remember that Wandering Nana is now the first recipient of the Golden Minion Box of Awesomeness - but once she gets it she'll be posting her own contest for the box - which can only be won by a Minion. So stay tuned.)

Friday was something of a hard day for me. The usual suspects of stress and lack of sleep and other personal niceties. But the comments coming in about Cream had me in happy tears. Sometimes I think that in order to truly grasp a concept you have to lob it out into the universe and watch the way it is caught by others - listen to their retelling, wait until they roll it back to you, observe how it has grown. And that's so true about Cream. What a delightful surprise to have this quirk, this little thing that I've called my own not only be appreciated by so many of you, but to be understood - and adopted. It's a gift you've given me, this reminder of your tenderness toward the weird and random ramblings of one Whimsy.

Because cream isn't always easy. Cream is temperamental. It melts in a hot room. It can spoil if it isn't refrigerated properly. Cream can be, quite frankly, a little unloveable and CRANKY. And Cream can be lonely. For a good majority of my life, the dairy section has been frighteningly small. I've mostly been okay with that. It's given me time to think and create and play on my own which is one of my favorite ways to be. But Cream also needs human interaction, much like what Alicia talked about in Friday's comments. It is a terrible thing to go looking for that interaction and not find it. I think I've been a tough judge of the people who have wanted a glimpse inside my world. I still am.

But somehow, someway, I love sharing that world with all of you. And I hope that love shines through. Really, my hat goes off to the dear Spadoman, because he said it better than I ever could.

Cream, in all its glory --- in all its goofiness --- in all its hysterical imperfection. The Creamery is the place, but the Minions make it so. You're welcome here. Always.

minionlympics I: a brief interlude

You know how during the Olympics they have those Heartwarming Stories of Atheletes Overcoming Huge Obstacles with the softly focused camera shots and the plinky plinky piano music throbbing with emotion in the background?

Think of this post as something like that.

Or not.

Because it's not much like that. But we're experiencing a bit of a delay with the awards and the closing ceremonies of the Minionlympics. Let's just say that we're having difficulty finding the torch runner (i.e. there's a delay with the award delivery... i.e. I'm a little bit slower with the making of the Creamies than intended). Awards and closing ceremony tomorrow!

While it won't make you cry or think wistfully about the turns your own life would have taken if you had dedicated your athletic career to ice skating (dude I love the Olympics)--- let's talk about the answers to The Creamery Quiz.

1. Whimsy once fell into an open refrigerator and had difficulty getting out.

Oh so sadly TRUE.

2. One of the grossest things Whimsy ever witnessed (and photographed) is:

Two slugs making baby slugs on the side of her house (I'm sorry - really really sorry).

3. When Chip stayed at the haunted hotel, how many other guests stayed there that night?

None, which was almost as creepy as his experience at the hotel.

4. Who is Winston?

Whimsy's dad.

5. Chip is deathly afraid of snakes.

Very false. He is, however, deathly afraid of SPIDERS as seen here.

6. According to Whimsy, the perfect chip accompaniment to a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is nacho cheese Dorritos.

Absolutely true.

7. At a Day After Thanksgiving sale, Whimsy bought the following item for $5:

What else would posess a tried-and-true LOVER OF SLEEP to get up at 3am? A food processor, of course.

8. Whimsy's parents live in:

Utah.

9. The furry monsters are:

Fergus and Phoebe. Here and here and here...

10. When she was pregnant with Bean, Whimsy had a specific food craving for:

Sour cream and onion dip. She even convinced Chip to try it... on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She did NOT CRAVE BEANS. In fact, there were several instances when she threw Chip out of the car / house / smelling range for consuming beans of any kind. (I can't find the link... don't know what's wrong with me.)

Now. Tune in tomorrow for the FANTASTIC MINIONLYMPICS CLOSING CEREMONIES AND AWARD EXTRAVAGANZA - you're all invited, of course!

minionlympics I: round five

I'm a little sad that this is the last day of Minionlympic competition.

But then again, I'm also a little relieved.

Because you guys mean business. And I've been worried if the whole MINIONLYMPIC EXPERIENCE didn't live up to the hype, you'd track me down and hurt me.

Or at least give me a very firm talking to.

So before we get to the whole competition portion of the Last Day of Competition, let's announce the winner of Chip's extra point extravaganza from yesterday's post. The lucky winner is....Spadoman, whose story had Chip (no lie) HOLDING HIS BUTT, he was laughing so hard. Congratulations, Spadoman!

Today's round is a little bit different than the previous - it even has two parts.

Part the first: a CREAMERY QUIZ. The questions are listed below - but don't answer them in the comments. To make sure that everyone has a fair chance, you'll need to email me your answers. Don't bother retyping the questions or anything, just list the question number and your answers. Email to whimsyattack AT gmail DOT com. Deadline for submissions is 5pm PST on SATURDAY, so that gives you some decent time to be able to complete it. Creamatheletes will receive one point for every right answer.

1. True or false:

Whimsy once fell into an open refrigerator and had difficulty getting out.

2. One of the grossest things Whimsy ever witnessed (and photographed) is

a. Two slugs making baby slugs on the side of her house

b. An apple with a worm in it

c. A termite infestation

d. A sewer plant

3. When Chip stayed at the haunted hotel, how many other guests stayed there that night?

a. A lot- it was a full house

b. About 20 or so

c. Only 2 - and he met them on his way out

d. None, which was almost as creepy as his experience at the hotel

4. Who is Winston?

a. Whimsy's uncle

b. Whimsy's dad

c. Whimsy's brother

d. Winston... Churchill?

5. True or false:

Chip is deathly afraid of snakes.

6. True or false:

According to Whimsy, the perfect chip accompaniment to a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is nacho cheese Dorritos.

7. At a Day After Thanksgiving sale, Whimsy bought the following item for $5:

a. Food processor

b. Toaster

c. Blender

d. Cordless phone

8. Whimsy's parents live in:

a. California

b. Ohio

c. Washington

d. Utah

9. The furry monsters are:

a. Hurp and Trey

b. Elmo and Zoe

c. Mutt and Jeff

d. Fergus and Phoebe

10. When she was pregnant with Bean, Whimsy had a specific food craving for

a. Pickles and chocolate chip ice cream

b. Sour cream and onion dip

c. Cereal that looked like cat food

d. Bean burritos

Part the second: a QUESTION for the comments section, because it would be a shame to change the format now. But first (you know what's coming) A STORY.

Or maybe, not really a story, but some thoughts. And pardon me for getting a little bit introspective and emotional (But really, what would the Minionlympics BE without some deep introspective thought, right?). All this stuff about cream and the minions has gotten me thinking alot about friendship and personalities. I mean, the whole concept of creamy came about from the challenges I've felt relating to people. This idea of CREAM, and it being not just something that separates me from other people, but is actually a uniting force? That's some powerful stuff. I had a shrink tell me once that my concept of CREAMY could substitute for CREATIVE. That it's the creative force I sense in other people. He could be right.

But I want to know what you think. You've spent some time here at The Creamery. What do you think about cream? What is it? How does it work? I'm not asking you to think of a pithy answer (though they're always welcome). I don't think I want to laugh today. I want to think. Think about you guys and the depth and humor and richness you've gifted to me - and The Creamery. I want to think about the gift that this space is - how much fun I have here, and the fact that you each actually drop in regularly to join in the conversation--- that's amazing to me. I live a very small life, my friends, but you don't treat it as a small thing. It's wonderful that we've stumbled upon each other, don't you think? So tell me about cream. And meet me back here on Monday for our closing ceremonies.

(You can have your supporters and fans stop by up until Saturday at 5pm PST.)

minionlympics I: round four (post edit for post editing's sake)

In case anyone is coming onto the scene just now and you're totally confounded as to the WHAT and the WHY and the HUH, I have a little tutorial in the form of links.

First, you should read the Laws of Cream. Do that below at the bottom of the page.

Second, about the whole MINONLYMPICS thing: read here.

So... now you sort of know? Are at least a little less wondering what could possibly be going on?

The recipient of Chip's special bonus points from yesterday's post is none other than Heidi!

It's Thursday and that means we have but TWO ROUNDS REMAINING, and I'm sure you're wondering what the scorecard is looking like right about now. I have the entire thing in an Excel spreadsheet if you want to see it (email me whimsyattack AT gmail DOT com). We are all about TRANSPARENCY here at The Creamery, yo. But I have a little snapshot of the top five contenders below. Please note that I have practiced some discretion to add some Whimsy approved special points for things that amused me or made me laugh or I thought were particularly cheeky. For I am the Supreme and Creamy Whimsy, and that's just the way I roll. But just to keep it fair, I've kept the point tally column hidden from my view until just now to list the top five Creamathelets. (BTW, if another Creamathelete mentions that they love another competitor's comment, I'm counting that toward a SUPPORTER POINT, but don't let that stop you from saying nice things. Because it's nice. And so very creamy of you!)

The snapshot

In fifth place we have: Heidi with 10 points

In fourth place we have: M with 12 points

In third place we have: Amanda with 13 points

In second place we have: Wandering Nana with 20 points

And in first place we have: Alicia with 22 points

Now Minions, it's still EARLY in points-gathering. If you've fallen behind, marshall your comment-forces and have some non-minions stop by to support you. They can do that up until 10pm PST on Friday. And keep it up - I might even do a CONSOLATION PRIZE. No promises, of course, but let's see how this thing shakes out.

With all of that now out of the way, let's commence with today's question! But first (everyone say it with me), a story. Once the Original Minions and I really started to run with the whole idea of Creamy and Miniondom and all its trappings, we got somewhat... shall we say, zealous, in our excitement for, um, ourselves. There was the time that MB made the mistake of inviting ALL OF US to a dinner party at his place. A dinner party that included (gasp) other people. A dinner party which the four of us promptly hijacked. We quoted the entirety of the movie they were watching (Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Rings). And they made the pitiable mistake of playing Taboo - which we COMPLETELY RULED, seeing as how the four of us had somehow melded our brains and could finish each other's sentences. My favorite part of the evening? When I was up and the word was CREAMY. No lie. We weren't much invited to other parties after that. But that's actually not the story I wanted to tell. It's this one, about the thing that happened that STILL mortifies me. Being something of a writer myself (and this was pre-blog, so I had a lot of pent up creative writing just sort of uncontrollably oozing up to the surface), I wrote emails. A lot of emails. And so did M. And so did Samwise. We'd have these crazy and hilarious round-robin emails that would just go on and on and on. Now remember, we thought it was HILARIOUS. And in our Uncontrollable Optimism, we thought that the rest of the world would think so too. There was this girl at church. I can't even now call her a GIRL. She was a WOMAN. A WOMAN that should be written in ALL CAPS. A few years older than we were, she was uber creative and cool and funky and talented and extraordinarily smart. She wore awesome clothes that she usually found second hand. She drove a terrifically funky classic car (some kind of big old 1960's cadillac or something, I have no idea). She was... in an entirely different social strata than the likes of us fun-loving party-ruining movie-quoting Minions. But we had hope. Because she embraced a lot of the things we embraced. She understood a lot of the things we understood. Clearly, she was CREAMY. She just... didn't know it. So one day we took it upon ourselves (who am I kidding? I TOOK IT UPON MYSELF) to tell her about Creamy. To share with her the life of Creamy. To help her to see her creaminess AND EMBRACE IT. And then I added her to our email exchange, thinking she'd ENJOY THE FUNNY.

Forward a couple of days and I get an email from her that says this,

"Hi. Can you please remove me from your email list? It's just... sort of a lot. And I'm sorry, but I don't think I have time to read all of this."

Let me just say: MORTIFIED. And quite frankly, even MORTIFIED with the caps and all doesn't fully articulate just how ridiculously STOOOOPID I felt for trying to foist our cream onto someone else. For ages and ages afterward, whenever I'd think about it, I'd get all shivery and embarassed. I know, because I'm feeling shivery and embarassed NOW and it's been seven YEARS.

Dearest Minions, on this fine Thursday morning, I am now calling you to remember a terrible shivery and embarassed moment from your past and share it here. Tell us your best embarassing story. And we will probably laugh, but at least we'll be laughing WITH YOU.

Post edit: Seeing as how you're putting this down on the interweb, to reside FOREVER---- I'd like to extend the invitation that you can go back and extract/delete any comments that you feel would infringe on your future Fifth Ammendment rights. This way the future generations don't need to accidentally stumble upon the story of you and the time you were involved in a bank heist. But first! Wait until tomorrow, so Chip gets his chance to award the bonus points for today.

Now... Go!

minionlympics I: round three (updated)

First off, I was able to confer with a conscious and awake Chip this morning and find his declared winner for Tuesday's favorite comment. And the WINNER IS... SIBLEY SAGA. He couldn't get over her tragic Valentine's Day date that actually made out with her BEFORE he broke up with her. In Alicia's words, AWESOMELY BAD. Also from Chip, "You know, I don't have any terrible date stories... probably because I've been the CAUSE of some terrible date stories." HA! Now I've got to tell you - you are the best Minions a girl could have. I mean, you told some KILLER stories. I don't know if I've ever laughed (or sort of CRIED) so much reading comments. It was one train wreck after another. Is it wrong that I love a good trainwreck? No? See, I knew we all belonged together.




Bean says: I would be Minister of Chocolate if only my mama would let me EAT chocolate like I did at Grammy's

Now it's Day Three here at Minionlympics Central and we're very excited to see how the Games are shaping up. As I mentioned yesterday, you guys are FIERCE. A very nice quality in a Minion, I must say. And as a Minion, you need to be very much in touch with your qualities, as today's challenge will show.

But first, a story (are you noticing a pattern here?): there's this thing... about the Original Minion Beginnings... it involves A LOT of goofing around and A LOT of laughing and then A LOT of hilarity-induced craziness. I just sort of up and declared myself the Supreme and Creamy Whimsy one day. We were planning a huge joint birthday party, I vaguely recall. And we were passing around a lot of emails about our plans. And then, I just declared myself Supreme and Creamy and told my dear friends that they were my Minions. After a lot of funny jokes about this, I decided that the Minions needed Cabinet Offices, naturally. I mean, really--- if you have a whole load of Minions, they obviously need specialities.

And so, dear Minions, do YOU. Which brings us to today's FANTASTICAL CHALLENGE: you must now declare your Minion Cabinet Office. Are you a Minister of Cooking Gadgets? Minister of Bad Decisions (probably not recommended)? Chief of Staff (a little boring)? Something a little more ethereal? Remember, this is YOUR cabinet office, so you don't even have to be a MINISTER. You can be Head Pooba for all I care, I just want you to dig deep and be descriptive, folks. And make sure you say why you are claiming your specific position in Miniondom. Go!

minionlympics I: round two

The lucky recipient of Chip's FAVORITE COMMENT OF THE DAY extra bonus points from yesterday's post is none other than: WANDERING NANA. Congratulations, and again, I've got to tell you that we are adhering very strictly to the Whimsy-reading-comments-to-Chip-so-that-he-does-not-know-who-wrote-them thing. Which last night lead to Whimsy-getting-creative-mid-comment-reading-to-make-sure-that-she-wasn't-including-info-that-would-tip-Chip-off-to-the-identity-of-the-commenter. Phew, it was a little exhausting. I should tell you that aren't going to know which minion-suggested item I'm actually selecting to include in the GMBOA until next Monday. Just doing my part to make sure there is still some mystery left in this world. But you guys do not disappoint and made some awesome suggestions! Fierce competitors, all of you!

We'll get going on today's challenge; but first, a story: we've established that I've had my fair share of terrible romantic situations. The time a boyfriend gave me a crockpot for my birthday comes to mind. I cried over that one, especially since we'd been dating for several months at that point. And he gave me... a crockpot? There was the time when I was sent a letter by somebody who had a crush on me and they actually put a "check this box if you like me too". There was the time when I was literally ON A DATE and placing my order for dinner when the dude (my "DATE") corrected me that we weren't on a date. That he had just suggested we "hang out". There was the time when I had been going out with a guy for a while and his best description of me was that I was "neat". And crockpot dude? When it was all over, the best thing he could offer about my best qualities were that I was really organized and I got along well with his mom.

So. I had my fair share of lousy Valentines. By the time I was united with the Original Minions, we were fairly all sworn off of the lousy Valentines. And we weren't going to accept anyone who didn't recognize our true Creaminess.

Out of that came a Valentine's Day that we dubbed BLACK FRIDAY. (Naturally, the holiday fell on a Friday.) We got together at my apartment. We listened to music. We told all our stories of Horrible Valentine's Woe. And we ate molton chocolate cakes, individual ones. They were amazing.

My gift to you is this recipe for the molton chocolate cake. But Ree from Pioneer Woman does a tutorial. So go here to see it. The cakes we ate that night of Black Friday were eerily similar to these...

And you, dear Creamatheletes, for your next challenge, will tell me your BEST WORST story of romance. A terrible date? The worst Valentine's Day you've ever had? Whatcha got?

minionlympics I: round one

The somewhat frightening face of the first-generation CREAMIE.

Should I be concerned that Bean saw it and started meowing?

It's not like they say something to start the Olympic games like LET THE GAMES BEGIN or whatever. There's a torch. And... we don't have a torch. We have some Creamathelete buttons, though. So there's that.

And it's not like we're having an opening ceremony. Though really I'd love an opening ceremony. It's one of my favorite things about the Olympics with the pomp and circumstance and the athletes pouring in and waving and the tiny tiny teams that have like two athletes and also someone carrying their flag and the stories with the background of people overcoming huge obstacles to reach great athletic achievement and then the CRYING and the lighting of the torch and some kind of weird stylized dance number and some last minute surprise of the person who carries the torch into the stadium... I love every single cheesy second of it. (True story: I got really mad at Chip last summer when I talked about my LOVE and EXCITEMENT for the opening ceremonies for days before and when the night actually rolled around I somehow ended up running around like a crazy person taking care of something? Like laundry? And our child? --I don't know-- And our dear Chip watched the ENTIRE THING while I only got little snippets of it and afterwards, OH THE FIERY ANGER OF THE WHIMSY UNHINDGED.)

At this point let's all have a group visualization of a terrifically overblown Minionlympics Opening Ceremony and now it's the next day and we're ready to LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

So yes. The games. Beginning.

Welcome to the First Somewhat Annual Minionlympics! If you aren't already aware, you can review the rules here. (Please, also know that if you're an occasional reader or aren't playing or whatever, you are STILL and ALWAYS welcome to comment. We are an Equal Opportunity Community here at The Creamery.

On to the games! Again!

I have a passion for packages. That sounds a little icky, but seriously... you have no idea. I LOVE putting packages together. I love receiving them. I love tying things with pretty ribbon. I love wrapping it all up in cool paper. I. Love. Packages. Out of that love came the Plain White Box. I thought it would be fun. (It has been. Definitely.) But something has been wriggling at the back of my mind about the PWB... and it wasn't until a few weeks ago that I realized what it was: I want YOU GUYS to get it. Every time. I have great love for all the Internets, I do. But come on, you are MAH MINIONS. Out of this came

THE GOLDEN MINION BOX OF AWESOMENESS.

Or GMBOA, for short.

What's the point behind the GMBOA, besides SHEER AWESOMENESS? (And also it being part of the grand prize for the first place winner of the Minionlympics?) It's this: a pay-it-forward contest just for you guys.

Here's the deal: the GMBOA, being a pay-it-foward, needs to be passed on. The winner of the box will hold a drawing on their blog - but I am putting this binding rule on it: it must go to a Minion. Which means that our numbers will either grow exponentially as people who desire to win the GMBOA come back here and become an eminion (ha!) OR the current holder of the GMBOA has to specify that only Minions can enter and let the chips fall where they may. If the current GMBOA holder doesn't want to do the contest on their blog, I'd be happy to have you guys enter from here. Does this make sense? It's a way to make sure that the box passes from one Minion to another, and eventually, I'm sure, each of you will get it.

A few new twists on the box - I'm declaring another MUST. Like the box MUST contain some kind of action figure. I don't care if it's an actual tried and true action figure, Barbie's head, or a ping pong ball attached to a pipe cleaner. It just... has to have an action figure. This first inagural round of the GMBOA is going to contain none other than a SECOND GENERATION CREAMIE. You can see a glimpse of the first generation up there at the top, created by the very fantastic Samwise. The original is a little disturbing, I guess. Some kind of cheapie Dollar Store plastic man barbie wearing plastic shorts, nailed to a little block. The entire thing is spray painted silver. And lives to frighten unsuspecting guests who look inside my studio closet.

The second generation Creamie is a little less SO MUCH. But still: Creamie!

But I think this whole GMBOA with its rules and many specifics is missing one last thing. And this, my dear minions, is where you come in. Creamatheletes, STRETCH THOSE TYPING FINGERS AND PREPARE YOURSELVES, FOR HERE IS YOUR CHALLENGE:

Tell me what one thing the GMBOA is missing. Should it contain one more specific item--- and if so, what is it? Am I missing something else altogether about the box and some kind of special twist that needs to take place--- and if so, what is that?

CREAMATHELETES---- GO!

preparing for the upcoming minionlympics

The basics:

... It's pronounced MINION-LYMPICS

... The Minionlympics will run Monday February 8th through Friday February 12th

... New Minionlympic event each day - don't miss it!

The rules:

... To participate you'll need to be an e-minion (sign up as a follower there to the right)

... Points will be awarded for a whole bunch of things throughout the week (listed below)

... PRIZES (did you hear that? P-R-I-Z-E-S will be awarded for the first, second, and third place finishers at the end of the week

The points:

... Each Creamathelete will be awarded 1 point for each comment they leave (limit one comment per post).

... 3 points if the Creamathelete puts up the Minionlympics button (the one right above) on their blog's sidebar for the entire week of the Minionlympics - please also link back to The Creamery. If you have trouble posting the button above, email me at whimsyattack AT gmail DOT com and I'll email the jpeg directly to you.

... 2 points for Chip's favorite comment each day (which means the deadline to comment for each daily post is 10pm PST). And to insure that he is not playing favorites, I'll be reading the comments to Chip without him knowing who wrote them.

... 1 point awarded to each Creamathelete who has a supporter come and cheer them on at The Creamery (1 point for each unique comment left by a non-competitor; the commenter needs to say who they are cheering for, much like they'd do if they were sitting in the stands at an Olympic event, example: GO FOR GOLD, WHIMSY!). Must be left by an actual real person, you're on the honor system here. They can comment every day if they'd like, but can only comment once per post.

... A special POINT EXTRAVAGANZA will take place on Friday's post.

The prizes:

... The Creamathelete with the most points at the end of the week will be awarded first prize, following on down to third place.

... Third prize: a Minion award of honor

... Second prize: a Minion award of honor AND a personalized Minion lunch bag

... First prize: a Minion award of honor AND a personalized Minion t-shirt AND the first round of The Golden Minion Box of Awesomeness (gmboa), filled with fabulous Minion goodies

Now CREAMATHELTES, declare yourselves! (That means you. Yes, you. You should comment and tell everyone that you're proud to be a Creamathelete.)

See you Monday for the start of the games.

an invitation for the eminions

O O O O O

You are invited

to the first somewhat annual

MINIONLYMPICS GAMES

(that's minion-lympics)

taking place Monday February 8th through Friday February 12th

funnier . saucier . wittier . sassier . creamier

--- and ultimately CREAMIEST!

Only certified and bonified eminions will be able to participate

so register now by becoming a follower of The Creamery