Thursday, February 11, 2010

minionlympics I: round four (post edit for post editing's sake)

In case anyone is coming onto the scene just now and you're totally confounded as to the WHAT and the WHY and the HUH, I have a little tutorial in the form of links.

First, you should read the Laws of Cream. Do that below at the bottom of the page.
Second, about the whole MINONLYMPICS thing: read here.
So... now you sort of know? Are at least a little less wondering what could possibly be going on?

The recipient of Chip's special bonus points from yesterday's post is none other than Heidi!

It's Thursday and that means we have but TWO ROUNDS REMAINING, and I'm sure you're wondering what the scorecard is looking like right about now. I have the entire thing in an Excel spreadsheet if you want to see it (email me whimsyattack AT gmail DOT com). We are all about TRANSPARENCY here at The Creamery, yo. But I have a little snapshot of the top five contenders below. Please note that I have practiced some discretion to add some Whimsy approved special points for things that amused me or made me laugh or I thought were particularly cheeky. For I am the Supreme and Creamy Whimsy, and that's just the way I roll. But just to keep it fair, I've kept the point tally column hidden from my view until just now to list the top five Creamathelets. (BTW, if another Creamathelete mentions that they love another competitor's comment, I'm counting that toward a SUPPORTER POINT, but don't let that stop you from saying nice things. Because it's nice. And so very creamy of you!)

The snapshot
In fifth place we have: Heidi with 10 points
In fourth place we have: M with 12 points
In third place we have: Amanda with 13 points
In second place we have: Wandering Nana with 20 points
And in first place we have: Alicia with 22 points

Now Minions, it's still EARLY in points-gathering. If you've fallen behind, marshall your comment-forces and have some non-minions stop by to support you. They can do that up until 10pm PST on Friday. And keep it up - I might even do a CONSOLATION PRIZE. No promises, of course, but let's see how this thing shakes out.

With all of that now out of the way, let's commence with today's question! But first (everyone say it with me), a story. Once the Original Minions and I really started to run with the whole idea of Creamy and Miniondom and all its trappings, we got somewhat... shall we say, zealous, in our excitement for, um, ourselves. There was the time that MB made the mistake of inviting ALL OF US to a dinner party at his place. A dinner party that included (gasp) other people. A dinner party which the four of us promptly hijacked. We quoted the entirety of the movie they were watching (Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Rings). And they made the pitiable mistake of playing Taboo - which we COMPLETELY RULED, seeing as how the four of us had somehow melded our brains and could finish each other's sentences. My favorite part of the evening? When I was up and the word was CREAMY. No lie. We weren't much invited to other parties after that. But that's actually not the story I wanted to tell. It's this one, about the thing that happened that STILL mortifies me. Being something of a writer myself (and this was pre-blog, so I had a lot of pent up creative writing just sort of uncontrollably oozing up to the surface), I wrote emails. A lot of emails. And so did M. And so did Samwise. We'd have these crazy and hilarious round-robin emails that would just go on and on and on. Now remember, we thought it was HILARIOUS. And in our Uncontrollable Optimism, we thought that the rest of the world would think so too. There was this girl at church. I can't even now call her a GIRL. She was a WOMAN. A WOMAN that should be written in ALL CAPS. A few years older than we were, she was uber creative and cool and funky and talented and extraordinarily smart. She wore awesome clothes that she usually found second hand. She drove a terrifically funky classic car (some kind of big old 1960's cadillac or something, I have no idea). She was... in an entirely different social strata than the likes of us fun-loving party-ruining movie-quoting Minions. But we had hope. Because she embraced a lot of the things we embraced. She understood a lot of the things we understood. Clearly, she was CREAMY. She just... didn't know it. So one day we took it upon ourselves (who am I kidding? I TOOK IT UPON MYSELF) to tell her about Creamy. To share with her the life of Creamy. To help her to see her creaminess AND EMBRACE IT. And then I added her to our email exchange, thinking she'd ENJOY THE FUNNY.

Forward a couple of days and I get an email from her that says this,
"Hi. Can you please remove me from your email list? It's just... sort of a lot. And I'm sorry, but I don't think I have time to read all of this."

Let me just say: MORTIFIED. And quite frankly, even MORTIFIED with the caps and all doesn't fully articulate just how ridiculously STOOOOPID I felt for trying to foist our cream onto someone else. For ages and ages afterward, whenever I'd think about it, I'd get all shivery and embarassed. I know, because I'm feeling shivery and embarassed NOW and it's been seven YEARS.

Dearest Minions, on this fine Thursday morning, I am now calling you to remember a terrible shivery and embarassed moment from your past and share it here. Tell us your best embarassing story. And we will probably laugh, but at least we'll be laughing WITH YOU.
Post edit: Seeing as how you're putting this down on the interweb, to reside FOREVER---- I'd like to extend the invitation that you can go back and extract/delete any comments that you feel would infringe on your future Fifth Ammendment rights. This way the future generations don't need to accidentally stumble upon the story of you and the time you were involved in a bank heist. But first! Wait until tomorrow, so Chip gets his chance to award the bonus points for today.

Now... Go!


M said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

I'd been dating this guy for awhile. His parents bought a new house in a neighboring city but hadn't moved in yet. He took me to check out the new house, one thing led to another (we were young) and we ended up having "relations" on the living room floor. We were done but still, uh, entertwined, just laying there talking when we heard a noise. Then a more more noise. His parents had also come to scope out the house!

He managed to get his clothes on, at least his pants, which is all that matters for guys. I had my shirt on but was so freaked I could not get my pants back on. I knew they were coming down the hall and I went into full panic mode. Clutching my pants as I hurried away, I tried to find shelter in an empty house I'd never been to before. In my haste I nearly walked into the parents. Mortified I turned down the hallway and opened the first door I came to, flinging myself inside.

Uh, yeah, it was a closet. His parents were standing there, laughing and watching me as my bare ass slunk out of the closet into the next door over, which thankfully was a bedroom. I dressed myself quickly and sat there for at least an hour, though they were all at the door begging me to come out.

Thankfully his parents were cool. They said they'd been young once (they were high school sweethearts) and they'd tried to make a lot of noise when they drove up/entered the house in order to avoid such embarrassment. It was months before I could look them in the eye again, and I was certain they always pictured my lily white ass every time they saw me. Is it any wonder the relationship didn't last?

S said...

Go, Alicia, with your 22 points. My story is so much like Shelly's that I can hardly even think of it.

Rose said...

OTR - NFCC: Oh my! I CANNOT compete with Shelly's! WOW!

To be honest, my most embarrassing moment is too gross to post! I'm sure most women here have experienced it and can guess what it concerns! (Stupid Aunt Flo).

So, I'll pick a different one!
(Back on the record now).

I used to live in Yelm. In Yelm there is one main highway that goes through town that all the cars drive on and where all the businesses are. I was taking a stroll down the sidewalk of this busy highway, feeling pretty smug about the way I looked that day! I was in a flirty wrap dress, and I was certain that all the guys driving by were checking me out! I swung my hips a little as I walked. I was feeling cocky, sure that I was the hottest girl in town at the moment!

I happened to glance down for a moment and HELLO DELICATE THINGIES my dress was unwrapped! Just hanging from my shoulders and fluttering in the breeze behind me! Um, how long has THAT been undone? I ducked behind a big black SUV and quickly fixed myself up.

I didn't feel so smug anymore, although I'm sure I did get my wish of guys checking me out!

Alicia @ bethsix said...

Oh, Whimsy, that story is HORRIBLE. Oh my.

I have so many stories like that too. I am a bonafide sufferer of social (and other) anxieties, so like M, I can ruminate for months over something that may or may not bother someone else.

My most embarrassing stories are probably related to my trying to convince someone else of my creaminess after either mistaking him/her for creamy or mistaking him/her for someone who KNOWS he/she is creamy.

All without ever using the word "creamy."

I don't think I can bear to relive any of these moments, and honestly, I don't think I could even tell them in a way that would make them sound horrifying to anyone but me.

I did fall off my bike into a dead Christmas tree once when I was about 10. I was trying to ride by the house of this neighbor guy I thought was hot who was probably at least eight years older.

That's all I got.

I gotta go with Shelly today so far. DUUUDE.

Alicia @ bethsix said...

I posted too quickly. Forgot to say that neighbor dude was on his porch, with his parents, laughing at me. And I had to act like falling into tree needles and concrete didn't hurt. I MEANT TO DO THAT.

Still got nothing on Shelly Overlook, though.

Chelle said...

Ok, Minion-folks,

I'm here to declare my vote for super amazing Wandering Nana, and to cheer her on with all of my heart and soul. She so deserves Gold... like lots of it... to stand on the top of the podium and soak in all of the glory.

Yet sadly, I have not been the true and devoted and peppy cheerleader she so deserves. (shed a tear)

I was going to come to the Creamery and cheer for her on Saturday, but, well, Whimsy (& the rest of the world for that matter) knows a bit about the craziness that ensued for myself that day. So no cheering was had and no points were won for dear Nana.

But, as stated above, she is 100% Gold. And I will do everything in my power to cheer her to victory (cue the Olympics theme music in your head).

Waving my pom poms...

Jayme said...

LOL Go Alicia!

These are great. One time, in college, my roommate was driving us somewhere and was staring at some guy on the sidewalk and accidentally drove us up on to the sidewalk she was staring at.... yeah, almost running over the guy.

Michelle said...

I'm "waving my pom poms" for Wandering Nana as well!! :) Love it!

Bradley the Beth said...

Go, Alicia, go!

I must say, though, that surely you could do better than that.
Remember the time that you pooped on your undershirt at your grandparents' house, and everyone was wondering where you were and discussing it, and looking at you strangely when you carried it out to the car? Oh, wait that was ME!

Alicia @ bethsix said...

Bradley the Beth, that WAS you! Just one more reason you're the object of my affections!

wandering nana said...

Ok... can't compete with Rose or Shelly. They really should win.

Mark n Sid said...

Go wandering nana!!! Good Luck!!

wandering nana said...

Guess though I have to participate so here goes... But first, by a raise of hands, how many of you look at people's feet?
I worked in a furniture store... we're talking an expenive furniture store. There were designers who had gone to college and got degrees in designing. They knew how to put things where and also how to dress. I'm sure you can now see where this is going. One day in the office I was helping someone and a designer asked me to come out and look at a tag as her customer had a qestion. I was standing there when (with the customer) when the designer suddenly started to laugh "Do you know that you have on one black shoe and one brown shoe?" (Actually yes, I like to be different!) "No". I looked down and sure enough I was. It was only morning...I had 6 hours to go!!! Of course the story went thru the store and everyone, I mean even the delivery guys and some customers (gotta love those designers) came to the office to see for themselves.
About 6 months later we had our work party at Lagoon (amusement park in Utah). We were in the picnic eating dinner with everyone and just talking. I was talking to the designer (yes, the shoe person) when she started to laugh. I asked what was so funny and she said "Look at your shoes!" Are you kidding me! I looked down and I had 2 different shoes on.... they were tennis shoes! I couldn't believe I had done it again. Soooo.... now I always place my shoes in pairs and never get them in the dark. (I still think Rose and Shelly should win)

Kristy said...


jwan said...

In anticipation of a comment today...go KAY!

Your word verification for today is: fishoal

Melody M. Evans said...

Go Heidi!!! I remember one time for your birthday I was trying to do something nice for you so I got you a big bouquet of balloons. I couldn't find a present for you and I knew you wanted a boyfriend. So, I bought you a package of dates. I thought it would be really cute until the balloons flew away just outside of Wendy's. I drove all the way back to Smith's on Center Street and told the guys who was there my balloons flew away. Well, he made me a new bouquet but only tied them with the string and didn't knot the balloon. The whole way back to Wendy's I was watching the balloons deflate and I didn't have time to go back. I ran into the store and yelled Happy Birthday, Heidi and handed you the shriveled up balloons and shriveled up fruit. I think it was more embarrassing for me than it was for you. Good luck in your contest, love you!

Things Zander Says. . . said...

Go Wandering Nana Go! Go for that beautiful and creamy Golden Minion Box of Awesomeness!!

Because I love Wandering Nana so much and want her to win the GMBOA I will be humiliating myself by sharing a story:

Picture this an excited 17 year old girl working her summer away at a daycamp on a farm, so cool right! Well, every week this daycamp took the kids (ranging from 4-14ish) on a really cool field trip. Now the very first week of camp on the very first field trip the group ended up at a park. The group split up (there were about 6 guy counselors and 6 girl counselors) some of the girl counselors took the kids for a walk, the other group stayed and played softball. I was one of maybe three girls with these 6 guys (including the owner of the camp)that stayed to play softball. One of the kids hit the ball over a fence. I went to go get it (does anyone see where this is going...) Now on the other side of the fence were some bushes otherwise when I reached the top of the fence and I would have jumped down. But because of those blasted bushes I climbed down and yes, without my being awares my shirt got stuck on the top of the fence and it came up when I came down and there I was in my glory... Now mind you I had only known these guys for 4 days! 4 days! I was teased unmercilessly that day and for the rest of the summer. I received a nickname that day. . . "The Flash".

Brenda Gentry said...

Gooooo Heidi!!!

Tracy said...

Three cheers for Wandering Nana!! More if that will help!! ;-)

Happy Day to all!

wandering nana said...

Oh my. Zanders mom should really get something for sharing that. I'm going to remember that nickname.

Spadoman said...

When my dad passed away in 1983, I was living around 400 miles away in Minnesota. I traveled to Chicago to pay my last respects. We were a young family and didn't have a lot of money. Even the travel was hard and a benevolent man we knew from town lent us a late model car and gave us some cash for gas and food so we could go to the funeral.
Needless to say, I worked as a laborer and truck driver and having or thinking about buying "good" clothes was out of the question.
Since my dad and I are identical in height and weight along with looks right down to the dimpled cheeks, I didn't hesitate to go through his closet and grab an ensemble fitting for a funeral.
The sport coat I wore, along with the shirt and tie were a perfect fit.
I didn't know my dad had asked for a closed casket, and about a year before my dad passed, my mom and dad had their portraits done at a local photography studio. It was the picture of my dad from that photo sitting that was used atop the casket.
Here I come into the room at the funeral parlor and I'm wearing the sport coat, shirt and tie that dad had used at the photo sitting.
To be honest, I don't remember what was said and I probably paid it no mind back then, but when I think of it now, I still get embarrassed a little.

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.


katie said...

Go Wandering Nana...

midwife said...

I bow to the great omnipotent Wandering Nana!!! She deserves gold and soooo much more. I hope she knows how loved and cherished she is!!!! Her creamyness oozes all over those of us she loves and makes us feel splendiferous!!!! GO NANA GO!!!!!!

Patrick said...

GO ALICIA!!!!!!!

Heidi said...

I couldn't think of an embarrassing story, so I enlisted my family in the fun of "making fun" of me! I was pretty positive they wouldn't let me down and it turns out I was right! So my cousin fondly reminded me of this.....! "I believe I remember the time you sat on a huge bumble bee when we were all camping once and it stung your butt!" I read this on my cell phone in the middle of a grocery store and couldn't stop giggling! It reminded me of a similar bee incident about 7 years ago... My mom and I were haveing a nice picnic on a blanket in a park with Sami and some of her cousins when a huge bumble bee decided it was going to chase me...It did chase me, in circles, around the picnic blanket, in the middle of the park, with on lookers and my mother laughing hysterically at me! Evil bumble bees!!!! I Hate You!!!

p.s. when I read shelley overlooks story; I was laughing so hard I was crying! Especially at the "lilly white a...... part"

wandering nana said...

Hey.... it's 5:00AM. You're late! Where's the next event?

Meggan said...

Go Wandering Nana! Now I know where we get our fashion :)

mbr photography said...

Wandering Nana should win.