Monday, December 15, 2008

notes from under water

Friday, 4pm
Out the door, on the way to church to decorate for the Christmas breakfast
Wearing cute mary jane Crocs. A little bit slippery in the garage. Perhaps they aren't the right footwear for winter, but there isn't a lot of time to change.

Friday, 4:20pm
In the kitchen at the church, unloading the car to decorate for the Christmas breakfast
Have taken a royal spill on the slippery kitchen floor: hit head on refridgerator and banged up foot on a rolling kitchen cart. The Crocs were a bad idea.

Friday, 8:00pm
Coming in from the garage, after decorating the church for the Christmas breakfast
Another tumble on the garage floor, nearly doing the splits: have banged up and bloodied knee. Conclusion: clearly not winter shoes.

Friday, 8:30pm
Putting Bean to bed
She appears to be sniffling a lot - maybe she's gotten the cold I've been wrestling.

Friday, 9:00pm
Settling Bean back to bed
Hmmm she's not breathing very well. I'm thinking she has the cold I've been wrestling.

Friday, 10:00pm
Settling Bean back to bed. Again.
There is snot. A lot of snot. She definitely has the cold I've been wrestling.

Friday, 11:30pm
Picking a crying Bean up out of her crib and waking Chip to get the humidifier
No question: it's the cold.

Friday, 11:50pm
Putting a restless Bean back into her crib as Chip lugs the humidifier into Bean's room
Whimsy (whispers): Did you fill it up with the right amount of water?
Chip (whispers back): Yes. (Puts humidifier on floor and plugs it into the nearby power strip)
Whimsy (whispers): Did you plug it in?
Chip (louder whisper): Yes.
Whimsy (louder whisper): I don't see a light! There's supposed to be some kind of light! Did you read the directions?
Chip (louder whisper): OF COURSE I READ THE DIRECTIONS.
Whimsy (even louder whisper): THEN WHERE'S THE LIGHT?
Chip (shrugs, leaves room)
Whimsy (scratches head, stares at humidifier, fusses with it because she notices that it is not emitting any steam)

Friday, 12:00am
Whimsy continues to fuss with the humidifier (quietly) and then walks into master bedroom to find Chip
Whimsy (not whispering): It would help if the power strip was ON.
Chip: Oh.

Friday, 12:05am
Loud cry from Bean, Whimsy and Chip go into her room to find her still struggling to breathe, the humidifier is (STILL) not working
Whimsy (no whisper in sight): Why don't you hold Alice and I'll figure this stupid thing out.
Chip (grabs Alice): Sounds good.
Alice: (wimper)
Humidifier: (obstinant silence) At least my light is on, dudes.

Friday, 12:35am
Whimsy reads the instructions and figures out the problem
Whimsy (to Chip): Um, it needed more water. And salt.
Chip: Salt? Really?
Whimsy: Yes, salt. And that eucalyptus stuff we add to the water.
Humidifier: (gurgles happily)

Friday, 1:00am
Alice is still crying. Now in the master bedroom where we are trying to have her sleep with us.
Whimsy: Maybe we need to use the bogey sucker.
Chip: Good idea. I'll hold baby, you do the sucking.
Whimsy: Ha ha. (grabs bogey sucker)
Alice: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WITH THE BLUE CONTRAPTION OF DEATH? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Bogey sucker: Suck suck suck

Friday, 1:15am
Still crying.
Chip: She has quite a set of pipes on her, this one.
Whimsy: You're telling me.
Alice's pipes: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Friday, 1:30am
Master bedroom, Chip has left the room to get a glass of water
Whimsy, to Alice: Maybe you just need to be in my arms. Every time we put you down, you cry. Let's just lay here on the bed on my pillow with you in my arms. How's that?
Alice: Wahh! Huh? Hmmm. Okay, maybe this is alright.
Whimsy's neck: What are you doing to me, woman?

Friday, 1:35am
Master bedroom, Chip walks back into room to find Alice asleep in Whimsy's arms
Chip: (smiles)
Alice: (snores)
Whimsy: (WIDE AWAKE)

Friday, 1:50am, 2:20am, 2:40am, 3:00am, 3:15am, 4:00am, 4:10am, 4:15am, 5:00am
Master bedroom
Chip: (snore)
Alice: (wimper, move, turn, snort, wimper, struggle)
Whimsy: (WIDE AWAKE)

Friday, 5:05am
Master bedroom
Chip: (snore)
Alice: (snore)
Whimsy: (snore)

Friday, 5:30am
Master bedroom
Whimsy's phone which is moonlighting as an alarm clock: VIBRATE VIBRATE VIBRATE
Whimsy: Oh dude. We have to get up for the Christmas breakfast.







9 comments:

Amanda said...

Oh WOW. You poor thing. I hope you got a good Sunday afternoon nap.

Chip said...

Sometimes the bogey sucker and Alice's dad have one thing in common,.... ok maybe more than one thing

Kristi said...

That sounds like the most not awesome night ever! I hope Alice is feeling better (and that you've finally gotten some sleep!).

artemisia said...

Oh. Man. I hope you get to take a nap and that Alice is feeling better soon!

The Wife said...

Friday, 1:50am, 2:20am, 2:40am, 3:00am, 3:15am, 4:00am, 4:10am, 4:15am, 5:00am

Dude. You should have called. I was totally awake. We could have commiserated. We could have ranted. We could have cracked each other up in that sleep deprived way we have.

How I miss you. Sorry about all the falls. Crocs are definitely not winter foot wear.

Vicky said...

Hope Alice is feeling better soon. I just went through this with Davey. He was doing better in the morning and I was like a zombie.

wandering nana said...

I'm so sorry, I started to chuckle as I read this and by the end I'm laughing as I felt so bad for you (kinda sick the laugh huh!). When you told me about the fall, you didn't mention you were wearing crocks..... what is it with you all, IT'S WINTER. I noticed one of the ladies in the ward had sandals on, no socks, at church (born here not from another country). For your safety, put the crocks away, put them with Summer Stuff. So, I'll get off my soap box.... you know I love ya and I'm just making sure you're say (this was all said with a smile).. The breakfast was FANTASTIC. Great job. (Now go take off the crocks, I know you have them on). "D

Amy said...

First - sorry about your awful night. We were in the same boat a couple of weeks ago and it was no fun AT ALL.

Second - I've never had a problem in my Crocs, even in winter. Now that I've said that - I bet we don't get the ice and snow like you do up there. Crocs during winter in VA = not a death trap.

Anonymous said...

oh, i'm just giggling quietly here loving that you shared this little snapshot into an all-night-awake-fest with your little one..... and yeah, that darn humidifier -- why does it have to be SO PARTICULAR about the ratio of water to salt????? As if life isn't difficult enough .... K8