attention minions: gmboa time

Hello to the Minions! The GMBOA is available and up for grabs over at Chocolate on a Rainy Day. Act FAST, because I am late in alerting you and I'm hoping that Miss Rainyday won't hold it against you if you enter late.

Go here to get your grubby mitts on that fabulous golden box of gifties.

a GAME for the tuesday-after-thanksgiving doldrums

.

Well.

I come to you from the great city of Boise, Idaho--- and if I had stayed longer than a single evening, I would most definitely (and finally) meet up with Midnight Rambler and coo over her delightful city (because Boise is delightful, usually). But today it stands between me and my home. A home I want to be in by clicking my heels three times quick and POOF. Alas and alack, my ruby slippers are somewhere between Utah and Washington and so we face the slog with a Jeep full of luggage and a travel-weary husband and fruit snack flinging 2-year-old.

I had the very best of intentions to bring you the Full! In-Color! Excitement-Beyond-Measure! Black Friday detail post, but I left my power cord in the car. So before the laptop dies I propose a GAME.

I am going to post pictures from the past several days and YOU dear reader, get to vote on which picture should be detailed in story form here at The Creamery on Thursday. I promise that each picture holds behind it a veritable CORNUCOPIA of dish--- be it in the form of hilarity, sweetness, sauciness or otherwise.

Without further delay, shall it be:

#1:

#2:

#3:

#4:

#5:

(Each comment counts as a single vote - and because I'm feeling generous you may vote as many times as you want. That means that if Alicia decides to come in here six times to vote for her favorite, she darn well can. Voting will be open until 12:00pm Pacific on Wednesday.)

if you want to win something fabulous

.









Well hello there.





You may recall a little something called the Golden Minion Box of Awesomeness. It's been making the rounds through the Minions and its current stop is with Alicia, of fabulous Bethsix fame.





Ms. Alicia will be giving the GMBOA away on Monday, and I can't stress to you enough just how fun and silly and amazing she is. Which means that she gives absolutely spectacular packages away. Seriously.


I should probably add, that this box is sort of my personal childhood wish and by participating in this contest, you are giving me the gift of my personal childhood heart. I dreamt of releasing a balloon with my name and address tied on a string - watching it float into the upper atmosphere - and then on some distant day, getting a postcard from China or Mexico or maybe even NEW JERSEY saying that my balloon had been found drifting in some little girl's front yard and she couldn't BELIEVE how far my balloon had traveled. But my balloon never made it that far. I can't say it even ever made it farther than the powerlines down on Marguerita Avenue. But the GMBOA--- my dears, it has been in several different locations so far, and I can't tell you how much I want it to just keep traveling and traveling. Please do throw your hat in for the honor of hosting the box. You won't be disappointed.





So here's what you should do, if you're interested in picking up that GMBOA for your very own (and who wouldn't be, right?).


1. Make sure you're a follower here of The Creamery. Just go join down there on the right.


2. Visit Bethsix on Monday to enter to win.





May the luck of the Minions be with you.











And for your viewing pleasure, because it's nonsensical but also funny, this is what happens when you tell your two-year-old that she can sit on the bench with Elmo. And she happens to be very tired.

gmboa contest up and running!

My friends and minions. The fabulous Boise-dwelling Midnight Rambler has the Golden Minion Box of Awesomeness and she just put up the contest for the next recipient.

If you know all about it - just go here and enter. This is going to be an AWESOME contest.

And I can personally VOUCH for at least one of the items that will be included in the GMBOA-- and they are my FAVORITE STORE-BOUGHT COOKIE ON THE PLANET. Direct from Boise, Idaho.

If you don't know all about it, and want to understand, I'm going to approach this with my mother in mind. I love her so very dearly. Every once in a while she'll call me and tell me that she read my blog and has 'absolutely no idea what you're talking about'. So the short mother-appropriate version is this:

- The GMBOA is a box. It was spray painted gold and given a fancy acronym as the prize for the Minionlympics that I held here a few months ago.
- The box is filled with lots of goodies like candy and gifty items.
- A blogger holds a contest for the box, and when a winner is selected, the box is sent on (filled with loot) to the new recipient.
- That recipient then holds a contest for the box, and once a winner is chosen, fills the box and continues to spread the joy.
- There are rules to win the box. Namely, you have to be a follower of The Creamery to win the box. It's easy to be a follower (down there to the right).
- That's pretty much it. Mom--- does this make sense?



Good luck, all Minions!

attention all minions: gmboa contest sighting

We interrupt this Craft Week (new tutorial for today is just down below this post) to announce: the Golden Minion Box of Awesomeness contest is up and running over at Wandering Nana.

All Minions: GO FORTH AND CONQUER (or, you know: go enter that contest to be the next winner of that box).

For a reminder of the rules and such, go here.
For a reminder of what the heck IS a GMBOA, also go here.

Or ask one of the Minions, because by now, they ALL know what this is.



-Whimsy out.

unveiling the gmboa

Yesterday Bean and I made a very important delivery. She stayed in the car while I bestowed the goods on one excited Wandering Nana.

Presenting THE GOLDEN MINION BOX OF AWESOMENESS.

You want to win this box. I know you do. And you're going to have your chance to win the box from Wandering Nana when she holds a contest in the next few weeks. To help you follow the box I've introduced a new page here at The Creamery (see over there to the top right) AND I'll have an icon in the sidebar soon. As the box moves from Minion to Minion, I'll update the links.

Now. Some details, yes?

I mentioned way back when that there would be some rules that would follow the GMBOA. At long last, THE RULES.

. Each recipient of the box needs to add some decoration to it. Anything goes, as long as you don't affect the strength or integrity of the box.

. Only a MINION can win the box. To be a Minion, you need to be a follower here at The Creamery.

. The box can be filled with whatever you want to fill it with for a prize BUT it needs to include two things: some kind of action figure (however loosely you'd like to translate that) and a little miniature bottle/container. It's this THING with me, and I figured the box should have it too (thanks for the idea, WN!).

. In order for the box to keep moving, you need to hold a contest to send the box onto it's new recipient within three weeks of receiving it.

Now that I've filled you guys in on ALL the gory details, let's look at that pretty box again:

Soooooooo pretty.

Now. It's not like we're going to spend all day talking about the GMBOA today. So instead, let's talk about movies. One of which I'm hoping to persuade my husband to escort me to on Saturday evening. Anyone have a hearty recommendation? I'm thinking of Alice in Wonderland, for so many obvious reasons. But I'm willing to entertain other suggestions if you can make a really good argument. Let's hear it.

(Oh, and on Monday I have the BEST story to tell you about what happened after I delivered the box to Wandering Nana. She, Bean, and I went on a hair-raising adventure to the farthest reaches of the south Seattle shipyards. Dude. I... just... well. You'll have to wait until Monday.)

coming soon: craft week

Why hello there. How are you doing? We're fine, thank you. It would seem that fake food has taken over our living room (I found this onion sitting casually in the crack of the sofa), but otherwise: good here.

There have been a number of To Do items that have been neglected a little bit. Namely, getting the Minionlympics 2nd place prize package extravaganza to Alicia and the GMBOA to Wandering Nana. I did, however, deliver the 3rd place prize to a very excited Heidi. Angela was there to make the delivery with me, and she even offered up a rowsing rendition of the Olympic theme song (you know the one). One down, two to go.

The packages are being prettied up in the studio right now, which means they will be finally exiting the Last Homely House early next week. When that happens, I'll be posting some fun facts about the Golden Minion Box Of Awesomeness, because I know you've all been waiting with BAITED BREATH. (If you want backstory on the GMBOA, see here. Or read this: it's a moving prize box of awesomeness, soon to be in residence at Wandering Nana's. After a brief respite, she'll be holding a contest to give the box to the next Minion. Because you have to be a Minion --follower on the sidebar here-- to win it.)

Anyway! Packages: soon to go out. And at long (almost) last, I'll be getting my Etsy shop up and running. Have been sewing fast and furiously.

To announce the shop and linkage, I'll be hosting CRAFT WEEK here at The Creamery in a couple of weeks (starting Monday March 22, to be specific). What is Craft Week, you ask? A week of tutorials and how to from yours truly. Here is where YOU come in: either comment here or shoot me an email if there's something that you'd like to know (whimsyattack AT gmail DOT com). Hopefully I'll be able to choose a couple and show them here. So far, I'm thinking of doing a toddler t-shirt dress tutorial and a simple how to on those fairy flags. Thoughts? Comments?

That's the plan. Until then, it's life as usual here at The Creamery, which means, you know: not always so usual.

minionlympics I: closing ceremony

At the close of the first somewhat-annual Minionlympics, we pause to catch our collective mental breath--- and take this moment to reflect on the incredible things we've learned over these past eight days. We've learned that Whimsy cries when someone gives her a crockpot for her birthday (but she is also extremely practical and while she pitched the boy, she still has that crockpot). We've learned that it would be best to always KNOCK before walking in on Shelly Overlook. We've learned, along with Rose, that those wrap dresses are wily creatures. We've learned from Spadoman's hard-earned lesson that it is always best practice to ask your mother what picture she is going to display at your father's funeral. And we've learned that every single one of you are the funniest, sauciest, wittiest, sassiest, and creamiest Minions that a Whimsy could ever have.

Thank you for making the Minionlympics the rousing success that it was. You guys... have wowed me.

Wowed me to the point of desiring to make a Creamie for each and every Minion who took part in the Minionlympics. Alas and alack, time and resources and postage wouldn't allow for that. Instead, I made a magnet for each of you that wrote in with your Minion Cabinet Office. If you want one (it's small, but it's something, AND IT HAS YOUR CABINET OFFICE--- all except Midnight Rambler because I just couldn't bring myself to put Interim Phlegm Czar on a magnet, so dearie MR when you're feeling better and are fully able to occupy your more permanent Cabinet position, let me know what your title is and I'LL MAKE YOU A MAGNET). Anyway... if you'd like to claim your magnet and allow me to send you actual mail, email me your address (whimsyattack AT gmail DOT com).

Now without any further delay let's get to the much anticipated, long awaited, very opinionated, exceedingly creamivated AWARD WINNERS (though you're all winners, really truly you are).

The Bronze Creamie goes to our third place finisher...

Heidi.

Self-Proclaimed (but Whimsy named) Ambassador to the Four Legged Kingdom.

Buddy.

Mother.

And bus-driver extraordinaire.

Heidi has spent these rainy winter months furiously manipulating her typing fingers and practicing genuine blog commenting in preparation for these fine Minionlympics.

Her hard work paid off, and her valor will not quickly be forgotten.

Congratulations, Heidi!

The Silver Creamie goes to our second place finisher...

Alicia.

Mistress of Hindered Planning and Organization.

Delightfully intrepid.

Witty.

Sassy.

Wicked funny blogger.

And a darn fine mother to boot.

Alicia's efforts to go for Minionlympic gold were widely lauded by her inventive and determined group of fans, calling themselves Beth-heads for their fandom, following Alicia through the blogosphere in all her glory.

Despite her dogged determination to grab that Golden Minion Box of Awesomeness, Alicia showed true sportsmanship and grace - both winning Minion characteristics.

And the first Gold Creamie of the First Somewhat-Annual Minionlympics goes to none other than...

Wandering Nana.

Secretary of Discretion.

The picture of good hostessness.

Delightfully mischievous.

Contrary to her opinion, story teller extraordinaire.

Friend.

Grandparent.

And as evidenced by her overpowering core of fans--- FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH.

This is the woman you want on your team. And we are lucky. Because she's on ours.

Congratulations, Wandering Nana!

(And remember that Wandering Nana is now the first recipient of the Golden Minion Box of Awesomeness - but once she gets it she'll be posting her own contest for the box - which can only be won by a Minion. So stay tuned.)

Friday was something of a hard day for me. The usual suspects of stress and lack of sleep and other personal niceties. But the comments coming in about Cream had me in happy tears. Sometimes I think that in order to truly grasp a concept you have to lob it out into the universe and watch the way it is caught by others - listen to their retelling, wait until they roll it back to you, observe how it has grown. And that's so true about Cream. What a delightful surprise to have this quirk, this little thing that I've called my own not only be appreciated by so many of you, but to be understood - and adopted. It's a gift you've given me, this reminder of your tenderness toward the weird and random ramblings of one Whimsy.

Because cream isn't always easy. Cream is temperamental. It melts in a hot room. It can spoil if it isn't refrigerated properly. Cream can be, quite frankly, a little unloveable and CRANKY. And Cream can be lonely. For a good majority of my life, the dairy section has been frighteningly small. I've mostly been okay with that. It's given me time to think and create and play on my own which is one of my favorite ways to be. But Cream also needs human interaction, much like what Alicia talked about in Friday's comments. It is a terrible thing to go looking for that interaction and not find it. I think I've been a tough judge of the people who have wanted a glimpse inside my world. I still am.

But somehow, someway, I love sharing that world with all of you. And I hope that love shines through. Really, my hat goes off to the dear Spadoman, because he said it better than I ever could.

Cream, in all its glory --- in all its goofiness --- in all its hysterical imperfection. The Creamery is the place, but the Minions make it so. You're welcome here. Always.

minionlympics I: round five

I'm a little sad that this is the last day of Minionlympic competition.

But then again, I'm also a little relieved.

Because you guys mean business. And I've been worried if the whole MINIONLYMPIC EXPERIENCE didn't live up to the hype, you'd track me down and hurt me.

Or at least give me a very firm talking to.

So before we get to the whole competition portion of the Last Day of Competition, let's announce the winner of Chip's extra point extravaganza from yesterday's post. The lucky winner is....Spadoman, whose story had Chip (no lie) HOLDING HIS BUTT, he was laughing so hard. Congratulations, Spadoman!

Today's round is a little bit different than the previous - it even has two parts.

Part the first: a CREAMERY QUIZ. The questions are listed below - but don't answer them in the comments. To make sure that everyone has a fair chance, you'll need to email me your answers. Don't bother retyping the questions or anything, just list the question number and your answers. Email to whimsyattack AT gmail DOT com. Deadline for submissions is 5pm PST on SATURDAY, so that gives you some decent time to be able to complete it. Creamatheletes will receive one point for every right answer.

1. True or false:

Whimsy once fell into an open refrigerator and had difficulty getting out.

2. One of the grossest things Whimsy ever witnessed (and photographed) is

a. Two slugs making baby slugs on the side of her house

b. An apple with a worm in it

c. A termite infestation

d. A sewer plant

3. When Chip stayed at the haunted hotel, how many other guests stayed there that night?

a. A lot- it was a full house

b. About 20 or so

c. Only 2 - and he met them on his way out

d. None, which was almost as creepy as his experience at the hotel

4. Who is Winston?

a. Whimsy's uncle

b. Whimsy's dad

c. Whimsy's brother

d. Winston... Churchill?

5. True or false:

Chip is deathly afraid of snakes.

6. True or false:

According to Whimsy, the perfect chip accompaniment to a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is nacho cheese Dorritos.

7. At a Day After Thanksgiving sale, Whimsy bought the following item for $5:

a. Food processor

b. Toaster

c. Blender

d. Cordless phone

8. Whimsy's parents live in:

a. California

b. Ohio

c. Washington

d. Utah

9. The furry monsters are:

a. Hurp and Trey

b. Elmo and Zoe

c. Mutt and Jeff

d. Fergus and Phoebe

10. When she was pregnant with Bean, Whimsy had a specific food craving for

a. Pickles and chocolate chip ice cream

b. Sour cream and onion dip

c. Cereal that looked like cat food

d. Bean burritos

Part the second: a QUESTION for the comments section, because it would be a shame to change the format now. But first (you know what's coming) A STORY.

Or maybe, not really a story, but some thoughts. And pardon me for getting a little bit introspective and emotional (But really, what would the Minionlympics BE without some deep introspective thought, right?). All this stuff about cream and the minions has gotten me thinking alot about friendship and personalities. I mean, the whole concept of creamy came about from the challenges I've felt relating to people. This idea of CREAM, and it being not just something that separates me from other people, but is actually a uniting force? That's some powerful stuff. I had a shrink tell me once that my concept of CREAMY could substitute for CREATIVE. That it's the creative force I sense in other people. He could be right.

But I want to know what you think. You've spent some time here at The Creamery. What do you think about cream? What is it? How does it work? I'm not asking you to think of a pithy answer (though they're always welcome). I don't think I want to laugh today. I want to think. Think about you guys and the depth and humor and richness you've gifted to me - and The Creamery. I want to think about the gift that this space is - how much fun I have here, and the fact that you each actually drop in regularly to join in the conversation--- that's amazing to me. I live a very small life, my friends, but you don't treat it as a small thing. It's wonderful that we've stumbled upon each other, don't you think? So tell me about cream. And meet me back here on Monday for our closing ceremonies.

(You can have your supporters and fans stop by up until Saturday at 5pm PST.)

minionlympics I: round four (post edit for post editing's sake)

In case anyone is coming onto the scene just now and you're totally confounded as to the WHAT and the WHY and the HUH, I have a little tutorial in the form of links.

First, you should read the Laws of Cream. Do that below at the bottom of the page.

Second, about the whole MINONLYMPICS thing: read here.

So... now you sort of know? Are at least a little less wondering what could possibly be going on?

The recipient of Chip's special bonus points from yesterday's post is none other than Heidi!

It's Thursday and that means we have but TWO ROUNDS REMAINING, and I'm sure you're wondering what the scorecard is looking like right about now. I have the entire thing in an Excel spreadsheet if you want to see it (email me whimsyattack AT gmail DOT com). We are all about TRANSPARENCY here at The Creamery, yo. But I have a little snapshot of the top five contenders below. Please note that I have practiced some discretion to add some Whimsy approved special points for things that amused me or made me laugh or I thought were particularly cheeky. For I am the Supreme and Creamy Whimsy, and that's just the way I roll. But just to keep it fair, I've kept the point tally column hidden from my view until just now to list the top five Creamathelets. (BTW, if another Creamathelete mentions that they love another competitor's comment, I'm counting that toward a SUPPORTER POINT, but don't let that stop you from saying nice things. Because it's nice. And so very creamy of you!)

The snapshot

In fifth place we have: Heidi with 10 points

In fourth place we have: M with 12 points

In third place we have: Amanda with 13 points

In second place we have: Wandering Nana with 20 points

And in first place we have: Alicia with 22 points

Now Minions, it's still EARLY in points-gathering. If you've fallen behind, marshall your comment-forces and have some non-minions stop by to support you. They can do that up until 10pm PST on Friday. And keep it up - I might even do a CONSOLATION PRIZE. No promises, of course, but let's see how this thing shakes out.

With all of that now out of the way, let's commence with today's question! But first (everyone say it with me), a story. Once the Original Minions and I really started to run with the whole idea of Creamy and Miniondom and all its trappings, we got somewhat... shall we say, zealous, in our excitement for, um, ourselves. There was the time that MB made the mistake of inviting ALL OF US to a dinner party at his place. A dinner party that included (gasp) other people. A dinner party which the four of us promptly hijacked. We quoted the entirety of the movie they were watching (Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Rings). And they made the pitiable mistake of playing Taboo - which we COMPLETELY RULED, seeing as how the four of us had somehow melded our brains and could finish each other's sentences. My favorite part of the evening? When I was up and the word was CREAMY. No lie. We weren't much invited to other parties after that. But that's actually not the story I wanted to tell. It's this one, about the thing that happened that STILL mortifies me. Being something of a writer myself (and this was pre-blog, so I had a lot of pent up creative writing just sort of uncontrollably oozing up to the surface), I wrote emails. A lot of emails. And so did M. And so did Samwise. We'd have these crazy and hilarious round-robin emails that would just go on and on and on. Now remember, we thought it was HILARIOUS. And in our Uncontrollable Optimism, we thought that the rest of the world would think so too. There was this girl at church. I can't even now call her a GIRL. She was a WOMAN. A WOMAN that should be written in ALL CAPS. A few years older than we were, she was uber creative and cool and funky and talented and extraordinarily smart. She wore awesome clothes that she usually found second hand. She drove a terrifically funky classic car (some kind of big old 1960's cadillac or something, I have no idea). She was... in an entirely different social strata than the likes of us fun-loving party-ruining movie-quoting Minions. But we had hope. Because she embraced a lot of the things we embraced. She understood a lot of the things we understood. Clearly, she was CREAMY. She just... didn't know it. So one day we took it upon ourselves (who am I kidding? I TOOK IT UPON MYSELF) to tell her about Creamy. To share with her the life of Creamy. To help her to see her creaminess AND EMBRACE IT. And then I added her to our email exchange, thinking she'd ENJOY THE FUNNY.

Forward a couple of days and I get an email from her that says this,

"Hi. Can you please remove me from your email list? It's just... sort of a lot. And I'm sorry, but I don't think I have time to read all of this."

Let me just say: MORTIFIED. And quite frankly, even MORTIFIED with the caps and all doesn't fully articulate just how ridiculously STOOOOPID I felt for trying to foist our cream onto someone else. For ages and ages afterward, whenever I'd think about it, I'd get all shivery and embarassed. I know, because I'm feeling shivery and embarassed NOW and it's been seven YEARS.

Dearest Minions, on this fine Thursday morning, I am now calling you to remember a terrible shivery and embarassed moment from your past and share it here. Tell us your best embarassing story. And we will probably laugh, but at least we'll be laughing WITH YOU.

Post edit: Seeing as how you're putting this down on the interweb, to reside FOREVER---- I'd like to extend the invitation that you can go back and extract/delete any comments that you feel would infringe on your future Fifth Ammendment rights. This way the future generations don't need to accidentally stumble upon the story of you and the time you were involved in a bank heist. But first! Wait until tomorrow, so Chip gets his chance to award the bonus points for today.

Now... Go!

minionlympics I: round three (updated)

First off, I was able to confer with a conscious and awake Chip this morning and find his declared winner for Tuesday's favorite comment. And the WINNER IS... SIBLEY SAGA. He couldn't get over her tragic Valentine's Day date that actually made out with her BEFORE he broke up with her. In Alicia's words, AWESOMELY BAD. Also from Chip, "You know, I don't have any terrible date stories... probably because I've been the CAUSE of some terrible date stories." HA! Now I've got to tell you - you are the best Minions a girl could have. I mean, you told some KILLER stories. I don't know if I've ever laughed (or sort of CRIED) so much reading comments. It was one train wreck after another. Is it wrong that I love a good trainwreck? No? See, I knew we all belonged together.




Bean says: I would be Minister of Chocolate if only my mama would let me EAT chocolate like I did at Grammy's

Now it's Day Three here at Minionlympics Central and we're very excited to see how the Games are shaping up. As I mentioned yesterday, you guys are FIERCE. A very nice quality in a Minion, I must say. And as a Minion, you need to be very much in touch with your qualities, as today's challenge will show.

But first, a story (are you noticing a pattern here?): there's this thing... about the Original Minion Beginnings... it involves A LOT of goofing around and A LOT of laughing and then A LOT of hilarity-induced craziness. I just sort of up and declared myself the Supreme and Creamy Whimsy one day. We were planning a huge joint birthday party, I vaguely recall. And we were passing around a lot of emails about our plans. And then, I just declared myself Supreme and Creamy and told my dear friends that they were my Minions. After a lot of funny jokes about this, I decided that the Minions needed Cabinet Offices, naturally. I mean, really--- if you have a whole load of Minions, they obviously need specialities.

And so, dear Minions, do YOU. Which brings us to today's FANTASTICAL CHALLENGE: you must now declare your Minion Cabinet Office. Are you a Minister of Cooking Gadgets? Minister of Bad Decisions (probably not recommended)? Chief of Staff (a little boring)? Something a little more ethereal? Remember, this is YOUR cabinet office, so you don't even have to be a MINISTER. You can be Head Pooba for all I care, I just want you to dig deep and be descriptive, folks. And make sure you say why you are claiming your specific position in Miniondom. Go!

minionlympics I: round two

The lucky recipient of Chip's FAVORITE COMMENT OF THE DAY extra bonus points from yesterday's post is none other than: WANDERING NANA. Congratulations, and again, I've got to tell you that we are adhering very strictly to the Whimsy-reading-comments-to-Chip-so-that-he-does-not-know-who-wrote-them thing. Which last night lead to Whimsy-getting-creative-mid-comment-reading-to-make-sure-that-she-wasn't-including-info-that-would-tip-Chip-off-to-the-identity-of-the-commenter. Phew, it was a little exhausting. I should tell you that aren't going to know which minion-suggested item I'm actually selecting to include in the GMBOA until next Monday. Just doing my part to make sure there is still some mystery left in this world. But you guys do not disappoint and made some awesome suggestions! Fierce competitors, all of you!

We'll get going on today's challenge; but first, a story: we've established that I've had my fair share of terrible romantic situations. The time a boyfriend gave me a crockpot for my birthday comes to mind. I cried over that one, especially since we'd been dating for several months at that point. And he gave me... a crockpot? There was the time when I was sent a letter by somebody who had a crush on me and they actually put a "check this box if you like me too". There was the time when I was literally ON A DATE and placing my order for dinner when the dude (my "DATE") corrected me that we weren't on a date. That he had just suggested we "hang out". There was the time when I had been going out with a guy for a while and his best description of me was that I was "neat". And crockpot dude? When it was all over, the best thing he could offer about my best qualities were that I was really organized and I got along well with his mom.

So. I had my fair share of lousy Valentines. By the time I was united with the Original Minions, we were fairly all sworn off of the lousy Valentines. And we weren't going to accept anyone who didn't recognize our true Creaminess.

Out of that came a Valentine's Day that we dubbed BLACK FRIDAY. (Naturally, the holiday fell on a Friday.) We got together at my apartment. We listened to music. We told all our stories of Horrible Valentine's Woe. And we ate molton chocolate cakes, individual ones. They were amazing.

My gift to you is this recipe for the molton chocolate cake. But Ree from Pioneer Woman does a tutorial. So go here to see it. The cakes we ate that night of Black Friday were eerily similar to these...

And you, dear Creamatheletes, for your next challenge, will tell me your BEST WORST story of romance. A terrible date? The worst Valentine's Day you've ever had? Whatcha got?

minionlympics I: round one

The somewhat frightening face of the first-generation CREAMIE.

Should I be concerned that Bean saw it and started meowing?

It's not like they say something to start the Olympic games like LET THE GAMES BEGIN or whatever. There's a torch. And... we don't have a torch. We have some Creamathelete buttons, though. So there's that.

And it's not like we're having an opening ceremony. Though really I'd love an opening ceremony. It's one of my favorite things about the Olympics with the pomp and circumstance and the athletes pouring in and waving and the tiny tiny teams that have like two athletes and also someone carrying their flag and the stories with the background of people overcoming huge obstacles to reach great athletic achievement and then the CRYING and the lighting of the torch and some kind of weird stylized dance number and some last minute surprise of the person who carries the torch into the stadium... I love every single cheesy second of it. (True story: I got really mad at Chip last summer when I talked about my LOVE and EXCITEMENT for the opening ceremonies for days before and when the night actually rolled around I somehow ended up running around like a crazy person taking care of something? Like laundry? And our child? --I don't know-- And our dear Chip watched the ENTIRE THING while I only got little snippets of it and afterwards, OH THE FIERY ANGER OF THE WHIMSY UNHINDGED.)

At this point let's all have a group visualization of a terrifically overblown Minionlympics Opening Ceremony and now it's the next day and we're ready to LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

So yes. The games. Beginning.

Welcome to the First Somewhat Annual Minionlympics! If you aren't already aware, you can review the rules here. (Please, also know that if you're an occasional reader or aren't playing or whatever, you are STILL and ALWAYS welcome to comment. We are an Equal Opportunity Community here at The Creamery.

On to the games! Again!

I have a passion for packages. That sounds a little icky, but seriously... you have no idea. I LOVE putting packages together. I love receiving them. I love tying things with pretty ribbon. I love wrapping it all up in cool paper. I. Love. Packages. Out of that love came the Plain White Box. I thought it would be fun. (It has been. Definitely.) But something has been wriggling at the back of my mind about the PWB... and it wasn't until a few weeks ago that I realized what it was: I want YOU GUYS to get it. Every time. I have great love for all the Internets, I do. But come on, you are MAH MINIONS. Out of this came

THE GOLDEN MINION BOX OF AWESOMENESS.

Or GMBOA, for short.

What's the point behind the GMBOA, besides SHEER AWESOMENESS? (And also it being part of the grand prize for the first place winner of the Minionlympics?) It's this: a pay-it-forward contest just for you guys.

Here's the deal: the GMBOA, being a pay-it-foward, needs to be passed on. The winner of the box will hold a drawing on their blog - but I am putting this binding rule on it: it must go to a Minion. Which means that our numbers will either grow exponentially as people who desire to win the GMBOA come back here and become an eminion (ha!) OR the current holder of the GMBOA has to specify that only Minions can enter and let the chips fall where they may. If the current GMBOA holder doesn't want to do the contest on their blog, I'd be happy to have you guys enter from here. Does this make sense? It's a way to make sure that the box passes from one Minion to another, and eventually, I'm sure, each of you will get it.

A few new twists on the box - I'm declaring another MUST. Like the box MUST contain some kind of action figure. I don't care if it's an actual tried and true action figure, Barbie's head, or a ping pong ball attached to a pipe cleaner. It just... has to have an action figure. This first inagural round of the GMBOA is going to contain none other than a SECOND GENERATION CREAMIE. You can see a glimpse of the first generation up there at the top, created by the very fantastic Samwise. The original is a little disturbing, I guess. Some kind of cheapie Dollar Store plastic man barbie wearing plastic shorts, nailed to a little block. The entire thing is spray painted silver. And lives to frighten unsuspecting guests who look inside my studio closet.

The second generation Creamie is a little less SO MUCH. But still: Creamie!

But I think this whole GMBOA with its rules and many specifics is missing one last thing. And this, my dear minions, is where you come in. Creamatheletes, STRETCH THOSE TYPING FINGERS AND PREPARE YOURSELVES, FOR HERE IS YOUR CHALLENGE:

Tell me what one thing the GMBOA is missing. Should it contain one more specific item--- and if so, what is it? Am I missing something else altogether about the box and some kind of special twist that needs to take place--- and if so, what is that?

CREAMATHELETES---- GO!

preparing for the upcoming minionlympics

The basics:

... It's pronounced MINION-LYMPICS

... The Minionlympics will run Monday February 8th through Friday February 12th

... New Minionlympic event each day - don't miss it!

The rules:

... To participate you'll need to be an e-minion (sign up as a follower there to the right)

... Points will be awarded for a whole bunch of things throughout the week (listed below)

... PRIZES (did you hear that? P-R-I-Z-E-S will be awarded for the first, second, and third place finishers at the end of the week

The points:

... Each Creamathelete will be awarded 1 point for each comment they leave (limit one comment per post).

... 3 points if the Creamathelete puts up the Minionlympics button (the one right above) on their blog's sidebar for the entire week of the Minionlympics - please also link back to The Creamery. If you have trouble posting the button above, email me at whimsyattack AT gmail DOT com and I'll email the jpeg directly to you.

... 2 points for Chip's favorite comment each day (which means the deadline to comment for each daily post is 10pm PST). And to insure that he is not playing favorites, I'll be reading the comments to Chip without him knowing who wrote them.

... 1 point awarded to each Creamathelete who has a supporter come and cheer them on at The Creamery (1 point for each unique comment left by a non-competitor; the commenter needs to say who they are cheering for, much like they'd do if they were sitting in the stands at an Olympic event, example: GO FOR GOLD, WHIMSY!). Must be left by an actual real person, you're on the honor system here. They can comment every day if they'd like, but can only comment once per post.

... A special POINT EXTRAVAGANZA will take place on Friday's post.

The prizes:

... The Creamathelete with the most points at the end of the week will be awarded first prize, following on down to third place.

... Third prize: a Minion award of honor

... Second prize: a Minion award of honor AND a personalized Minion lunch bag

... First prize: a Minion award of honor AND a personalized Minion t-shirt AND the first round of The Golden Minion Box of Awesomeness (gmboa), filled with fabulous Minion goodies

Now CREAMATHELTES, declare yourselves! (That means you. Yes, you. You should comment and tell everyone that you're proud to be a Creamathelete.)

See you Monday for the start of the games.

an invitation for the eminions

O O O O O

You are invited

to the first somewhat annual

MINIONLYMPICS GAMES

(that's minion-lympics)

taking place Monday February 8th through Friday February 12th

funnier . saucier . wittier . sassier . creamier

--- and ultimately CREAMIEST!

Only certified and bonified eminions will be able to participate

so register now by becoming a follower of The Creamery

bits

This is one of those posts-in-pieces, where nothing makes sense as a whole but there are a lot of little bits that I want to say.

For instance, the other night I had a dream that Courtney Cox was living in a world where everyone looked perfectly normal and human except for their FEET, which looked like Ent Feet. And everyone turned out to be giant-sized which didn't really pose a problem because everyone was big like that. So really, it was exactly like Earth, but bigger (don't ask me how I knew, I just did). Oh and also? People didn't go through the front doors of their houses, they somehow got sucked underneath the doors and then slid up and down these huge conveyer belts inside their houses. So really really - it wasn't exactly like Earth. Not at all.

Something else: we arrived in New Mexico yesterday. We all survived the various treks across country and the rental car driving and toddler wrangling, but due to that, we are all a little worse for wear. I'm not speaking for me and Bean alone, but more along the collective we. We (again with the collective) will be doing what we call taking it easy today and also laying low. Which means that we're not leaving the hotel except to go to the grocery store.

I can tell you this so far about New Mexico: BEAUTIFUL. And more specifically about Santa Fe: I have never seen so many pueblo-buildings in my life. I've seen a pueblo-Target and a pueblo-Les Schwab. I've seen a pueblo-Howard Johnson and you know what? Our hotel is all pueblo'd out. I'm taking pictures for show and tell.

Lastly, there is this sort of SECRET that I've been holding in for a few days and it's killing me, so I'm just going to say it and then we'll discuss details later: THERE HAS BEEN A PLAIN WHITE BOX SIGHTING. I'm not kidding, you guys. The Plain White Box. IS STILL IN CIRCULATION. I got an email from a very nice lady in Minnesota on Saturday night and I couldn't stop SMILING. Then I talked to Chip about it ad nauseum. And then I emailed Swistle. All because I am just so hysterically excited that this thing I started off eighteen months ago is still going. The very nice person who has it is going to post a contest this week WITH PICTURES OF THE BOX. So when she does, I'll let you guys know. Because I want one of you to win it and keep this thing going. (She's also going to tell me where it's been, because one of the box rules was to write your city and state (and country) inside the box lid. I'm excited about this. As you can see.

Now besides the Plain White Box, what are you guys excited about? The Olympics? I'm excited about the darn Olympics. It's like a TICK with me, I just love the Olympics. It happens every time, and I can't get enough of them, especially the more obscure sports. You can bet I will be watching some curling (I like to image how they work out for that sport. Do they scrub gas grills? Or frantically wax floors? Are there special curling work outs and curling shoes? I really want to know.

several true stories

It turns out I'm a decent liar.


Number 1.
Other things I've found in Bean's crib: socks, books, sippy cups, Chip's business card case, and her stuffed friend Hurp (met with LOUD DISPROVAL when she discovered she can put him in the crib, but can't get him out). True story.


Number 2.
My husband will argue with anyone who would like to take him to task that a full, complete, well-balanced meal is contained in a large plate of nachos. For dairy, you've got the cheese and the sour cream. For fruits and vegetables, you've got the salsa. For protein you've got whatever beans or chicken you put into the nachos. And for whole grains, you've got Mission tortilla chips (they also make the tortilla chips for Costco - which are the ones we buy). These tortilla chips are made with four simple ingredients that are easily pronounceable in a factory that doesn't use soy or peanuts. These tortilla chips are staples in our house. And yes, Bean eats them from time to time. And yes, she recently used them to demonstrate to me that she knows Chip's name. Hee!


Number 3.
I don't know if I even want to talk about this one, because it's true: Bean bit me. It happened so fast that I barely registered it except for the shrieking pain in my LEG where she bit me. THROUGH MY JEANS. Blah blah blah, immediate time out and lots of tears (me and her). Hasn't happened since. Ugh.


Number 4.
Let me just answer this one by telling you this charming story. Coming back from San Francisco in August, we stopped in a very small California town to take bathroom breaks and get something to eat (only available eatery, the ever popular McDonald's). Before we went in, we figured we'd give Bean some time for leg stretching. The only available space for the leg stretching activity? The 3 foot by 6 foot rectangle of sidewalk leading up and into the McD's. She toddled around the rectangle for a couple of minutes but then realized that the large and spacious PARKING LOT was beckoning her. So, as she's standing at the door of the McDonald's, our dear Bean gets down on her hands and knees and then does this whole bum-first hopeful back up ON HER BELLY on the sidewalk, wistfully aiming for the curb and generally horrifying the parents because remember, WE ARE NOT A FAN OF THE GERMS. So, um? Even though that was three months ago? She's still going down the stairs, ANY stairs, on her belly, bum first. Though I do have to say, as long as I'm around she'll walk down stairs holding my hand. And I'm perfectly okay with that.


Number 5.
Now that you know this is a true story (as is Number 6), I'll just show you this picture from yesterday as evidence. Behold my boot:


And my boot's contents:

(For the short sighted, that would be a paci and several pretzel sticks with bits missing and some raisins and a few cheerios)

Number 6.
You guys, I'm not kidding about this, and honestly it scares me, in a who-is-this-child-and-what-else-is-she-storing-in-her-freakishly-gigantic-brain kind of way. I got a weird scared and excited CHILL when we first noticed what she was doing. I mean, what 20-month-old kid can identify numbers on sight? Is this normal? Please tell me that it's normal and I'll stop feeling like she's going to grow a second head or start playing piano concertos on her Playskool 4-note keyboard. So yes, if we line up a whole bunch of her alphabet blocks, some with numbers showing on the sides, she'll correctly identify the numbers and what they're called. We haven't taught her any of this, we don't even know where she got it from. I mean, she can count to ten, but it's not like I'm using flashcards or anything. She does have some counting books, and maybe she's just noticed the numbers on the pages? But again, it's not like I pointed them out or anything. I will now be posting the following on my bathroom mirror so I will NEVER FORGET: The Bean sees and hears EVERYTHING. You have been warned.

lie detector

I'm thinking we should play a game today, Five Truths and One Lie. You tell me which ONE of these six things are NOT true. And really, only one of these stories is a lie. All the rest are absolutely 100% true. Go!



Number 1.
Bean has taken to hiding things in her crib. We think she's doing it to give herself little treats when she's hanging out there later in the evening. The other day when I went to get her after her nap, I found a Noah's Ark finger puppet (Noah, actually - though she also has a giraffe and a monkey and an elephant). Chip had been the one to put her in the crib for her nap in the first place, so of course I asked him about it later: Dude, why did you put Bean in the crib with the Noah finger puppet? And Chip was all, Um, I didn't. She must've thrown Noah in there earlier in the day, for safekeeping. This is not the first time. We've found Sheepie, her stuffed sheep; Germane, her stuffed giraffe; Chip's cell phone; and a stack of Chip's business cards. For safekeeping.


Number 2.
I was feeding Bean recently and she kept picking up individual pieces of food and saying Daddy! Daddy! Piece after piece, picked up in her fingers as she was saying Chip's name. It was really weird. So I told her, "No baby, those aren't daddy. Those are chips." !!!!! To which I then, of course, shouted to Chip "DUDE! ALICE KNOWS YOUR NAME!"


Number 3.
As we were sitting on the floor yesterday playing with blocks, Bean bent down and bit me on the leg. Hard. Hard enough to leave a bruise.


Number 4.
Despite our sincere hope that Bean would be crawling backwards down the stairs when she's a senior in high school, she has now mastered the art of WALKING up and down the stairs, acting like some kind of BI-PED or something. No hands, people. NO HANDS.


Number 5.
In addition to her toy-stashing habits, she is also stashing FOOD and COMFORT OBJECTS. And she's doing it knowingly and remembering WHERE she put stuff later. To wit: a small red bucket with a smattering of cheerios was stuffed into a corner of our bedroom without my knowledge until Bean went to retrieve it yesterday morning. I've also discovered a Red Robin cup of pretzels underneath the toy wagon in her bedroom, a plastic purple cup with several honey bunnies behind one of Chip's guitar cases, and the PACI's. Oh the paci's. Stuffed into the little seat hidey hole of her little singing bus car push/pull thing, inside a bag in the toy basket in the family room, and in the towel drawer of the kitchen (actually, that's a very popular hiding spot for paci's AND food (currently a handful of cheerios) AND random small toys. Clearly, saving things for later.


Number 6.
We thought Bean was just helping to count the alphabet blocks when Chip was playing with her the other day. She kept reaching into the bag to hand him more blocks and saying random numbers (Nine! Two! Five!). And then Chip looked a little closer and realized that she might be actually identifying numbers printed on the sides of the blocks. The he figured that couldn't be possible, so he tried to test her. "Hey Bean," he said, pointing to the tall tower of blocks in front of him, "Where's the nine?" AND SHE POINTED TO IT, SAYING "NINE." Then, "Where's the five?" AND SHE POINTED TO IT, "FIVE." Again with seven and three and eight. Dude.

this just up: whimsy discovers A WHOLE OTHER ROOM in her house

This weekend I took part in the Somewhat Annual Great Whimsy Studio Clean-Up Tour.

As indicated, it doesn't take place on a regular basis, and I always feel sorry for that fact when I'm on this side of the Clean-Up. I love that room. It contains some of my best-loved things, reminders, remembrances, pictures, and teeny tiny objet d'art. It's a comfortable place. It's full of light, soft, and good-smelling (all Whimsy-approved, of course).

The cats hang out there most days. I, on the other hand, do not. Or at least, I haven't. Mostly because it hasn't been an Alice-friendly zone. Within Alice-height and sight have been razor blades and cutting tools, precious un-babyfriendly paper, and stacks and stacks of fabric only too ready for Alice hands to unfurl them in terrible piles.

Not that I'm speaking from experience or anything.

So this weekend I declared a Studio Clean-Up, my attempt to make the space more Alice-accommodating, and thus more Whimsy-accommodating. I'm happy with the results, though there's nothing like a picture to remind you of all the odds and ends that still need to find a home.

I give Chip a hard time about being squirrelly--- his great ability to hide bits and pieces of the odds and ends into the nooks and crannies that one cannot fathom. I've found highway maps behind desks and a particularly precious newspaper (not just an article, but the Whole. Darn. Thing.) tucked up behind a bookcase- is what I'm saying. Squirrelly. The man has a talent for it. It struck me late Saturday night when I was going through the ephemera that had gathered in a ceramic bowl--- that I am my own version of squirrelly. I gather these bits of life that tell the story of who I am and what's important to me, what strikes me as beautiful, and I hold them close in this room I love.

There's a line in The Time Traveler's Wife where Henry and Claire have moved into their first apartment. It is tiny and cramped, but Claire does what she can to continue to make art in the space. As time passes, her pieces get more intricate and detailed - and also smaller and smaller - hanging from the walls and ceiling, pushing Claire from one room into another, crowding her deep into herself. Henry realizes what's happening, the story Claire is trying to tell him: she is being crushed in this too-small space.

I think I do this sometimes: allow myself to be crowded out of my studio, the table piled high with half-done projects and things that need to be put away somewhere. And then I'm doing the sewing at the kitchen table and using the studio as an enlarged (and scary) closet. Months pass and the piles get higher and deeper, putting it all away becomes a project of Epic Proportions. The things I create become less focused, cobbled together with the items I can reach in the Studio Mess.

Then comes the day of the Great Studio Clean-Up. This time I vow to keep it more organized. This time I promise that I'm going to put things away when I'm done with them.

We'll see how it goes.


So, my peeps. Today is the last day to enter the drawing for the Sock Pod (deadline 5pm PST). Comment on this post and I'll do the Random Number Magic tonight - winner announced tomorrow!

501

Not just for jeans anymore. Also for blogs called The Creamery. Today is my five hundred and first post.

I think we should celebrate. How should we celebrate? By welcoming a new addition to the sidebar, and a new addition to The Creamery lexicon: THE E-MINIONS. Hello there, Minions! If you'd care to be a Minion, go on over there and add yourself. I might be having future contests and fun stuff for just the Minions, so consider yourself warned.

How else should we celebrate? You guys have given so much to me, it only seems fair that I should give a little something to you. A little something in the form of a giveaway. I'm going to be giving away a very fun sock-pod much like this one here (though a slightly different color scheme).


The package might also contain a couple of other fun handmade goodies.

How to enter? Leave a comment telling me your favorite breakfast cereal. We've been eating out of a box of Lucky Charms the last few days and it's just hit the spot, yo. Though usually my cereal du jour is Special K. You know what, though? I miss the old Special K. It used to be shaped like these little inverted cups, all thin and crispy. I loved sprinkling some sugar on my cereal and it would collect in the little crispy cups. Good times.

ANYWAY. Favorite cereal: GO! (I'll do a random number generator thingy and pick a winner next Monday, 9/21.)