Monday, May 30, 2011

because he saves my life

There are weekends that pass by in a slogging haze of work and chores and too many commitments. There are weekends that fly past because they are jam packed with fun: too much fun, with sticky fingers and giggling and fizzy drinks that you wouldn't normally consume except during a weekend of big top happiness. There are weekends that droop around a person in a murky clinging fog. Gray weekends and pink weekends and weekends of stripes. They exist. I know they do, because I've lived them.

This was not one of those weekends.

But although I'm not going to talk about what kind of weekend it was, exactly, I'm going to tell you this: there were moments--- excruciatingly painful moments, when I felt like I couldn't breathe. When I worried and wondered and wanted more than anything to feel confident about the next moment to come.

It wasn't the best breeding ground for good communication with Chip. In other words, I was sensitive and cranky and let's just say it: a bit on the crazy side.

It was in some of the worst most crazy-making horrific moments when Chip would reach out to me, take me into his arms, and hold me.

There are weekends when you feel as though the very laws of gravity don't apply to you, and everything you own, everything you are, your very existence is going to fly off into the atmospheric void leaving nothing behind but a dark smudge. If you are very very lucky, those are the weekends when someone is there to hold on to you and keep you grounded in safety.

And I am that lucky.

I love him for so very many reasons. But above all, I love him best because he saves my life.


jsibley said...


As always.

Not brilliant that you have grey yucky gravity defying weekends (cuz I have those too and they royally suck) but brilliant that you have Chip and that you even have the ability to verbalize all that so beautifully.

jsibley said...

oops. once again I was signed on accidentally as my hubby.

clueless but hopeful mama said...

Love this, Whimsy. So sorry you had a rough weekend. So glad you have someone to hold you tight.

Hope this week is on an upswing.

wandering nana said...

You know that all you need is to call and I will be there when your hubby is out of town. We can go and look at fabric. "}