Monday, February 9, 2009

weather report

Doesn't look like much worries her, huh?

We're headed to Eastern Washington this week. Chip is going out there for work, and Alice and I are tagging along, as we do. Because we'll be on the road, the skies opened yesterday and gave us a nice little traveling gift: snow. Because that's what we do! When we travel, we get weather! It's in the cards for us. Luckily it isn't so bad. After December and the madness we witnessed, this morning's dusting of ice is tame.

I find that so much these days is about comparison. I'm fine. We're fine. You all were absolutely top notch last week - I post (what I believe to be) an innocuous entry about distractions from Yuck, and I get messages asking me if I'm okay, Facebook notices checking in on me, and even a couple of phone calls. Wow. I feel pretty spoiled for the attention. As I said, I'm fine. I'm... adjusting. We've got some fairly High Stress Items on the family To Do list, combined with the stresses that my friends and family are also dealing with. It makes me feel uneasy, jittery. It makes me feel like the world is slightly askew and I don't know if it's in the cards for us to find level ground for a good long while. I personally know at least four families who are facing job loss. I know a handful of others that are on the cusp of it. Chip and I, in our small corner of the universe are lucky enough to not be in that boat, exactly, though my part-time gig is looking awfully squirrelly right now. I am grateful. I know of other people who are contending with health issues: scary - sweeping - detrimental. We are not those people. I know people who are in relationship trouble. We are not those people. I know people who have problems that are so much bigger than anything we are facing; my small troubles become just that: small. And even though they are mine, and they can feel painful and horrible to me, they're also my ticket to growth. I know that. Our pains, our losses, our heartaches-- these things can be our greatest blessings. A while back one of my very dearest friends SS of Sibley Saga reminded me of a poem I shared with her a long while ago.

-Margie DeMerell

There will be storms, child
There will be storms
And with each tempest
You will seem to stand alone
Against cruel winds

But with time, the rage and fury
Shall subside
And when the sky clears
You will find yourself
Clinging to someone
You would have never known
But for storms.

I know it's true. This madness with the economy and jobs will pass. It will get better. It always does. The storm rages over us and around us and eventually it will rage somewhere else---as it has always done. We can't change the storm or soothe the tempest. We can only do something with ourselves, from within. Will we be different when it has passed us by? Will we be wiser, kinder, more teachable? Will we learn those lessons we are meant to learn - like the chains, or the emergency kit for our car, or the million other items that we know we should have on hand just in case? Or will we let this lesson go and find ourselves on the other side: no stronger, no more brave, no deeper than we are now?

For me and for now, I intend to go to my quiet center and find refuge there. I will protect and defend my small corner of the universe as I have always done. It's lovely here, even when the winds are beating on the door, even when the snow is drifting up to the windowsills. There is ice on the porch, but we've got a nice fire crackling in the hearth.

Come join me.


wandering nana said...

You already are growing.... thanks for all you do for us... especially for your smile, which you always share, and your wonderful sense of humor.

Anonymous said...

That child has seriously delicious cheeks!

serenity now said...

So much of life at any time is about comparison. Lovely post. Thank you. Happy trails to Eastern WA!

Alice said...

wow, that's an amazing poem. i think i may write that one out and put it up in my house.

Kristi said...

That baby of yours has the best cheeks.

Elizabeth said...

I really love that poem. Thank you so much for sharing it.
I hope your own storms blow through quickly.