an open letter to the human resource department at costco

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To Whom It May Concern:


While I applaud your ingenuity and creativity, I am curious about your motives for hiring artists as receipt checkers at all of your doors.

It used to be, we would pause for a minute at the exit door while a helpful Costco attendant would look over our receipt, scrawling a quick X on the back to say that we weren't leaving the store with a few extra cases of bottled water. Then slowly the X changed. At first we noticed stars and happy faces, squiggled lines looking mysteriously like fireworks. But before too long there were balloons and Christmas trees - snow scenes with suns setting quietly over rolling hills. Now we stand for minutes at a time while your receipt checkers draw increasingly elaborate depictions of northwest wildlife or portraits of Alice. Recently we were sent home with a detailed image of Old King Cole, complete with beard, crown, and I swear to you - a little swirling cloud of blackbirds flying over his head.

Don't get me wrong, the pictures are sweet - but I don't really need a self portrait on my chips and oatmeal receipt. Furthermore, I'm paying for groceries. Not art. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if it didn't take so darn LONG. For that Old King Cole receipt? The Costco employee actually asked us to wait a minute while she finished the swirly twirly touches on the blackbirds - held up her finger for us to hang on a moment so she could complete her doodle.

I'm writing to you because I'm worried. Worried that this little movement for quirky and fun-loving customer service will have us being asked to wait, wait just another few minutes, while future receipt checkers complete little masterpieces with paint and ink and pastels.

It's cute, but I can't handle it.

Thanks,
Whimsy