Tuesday, August 9, 2011

and then you get up in the morning

The numbers run like this:

Twenty-three days.

Twenty-two nights.
Eight hotels.
Five states.
Two time zones.
Several dozen tanks of gas.
More fast food than a person should ever consume.
A pair of very happy grandparents.
One overjoyed Alice.
One brand new nephew.
Several family dinners.
One porch-viewed lightening storm.
A graveside visited and cried over.
Ashes scattered over one lazy curve of the Colorado river.
More hours than were meant to be counted in a car.
Precious handfuls of time spent with the parents.

How many memories were collected in the pages of my mind to be pored over when the sun is not so bright, when time has spent itself, when I am closeted away in the dark winter?

We are home, and so happy to be here. But just one day before reaching our dusty porch, in one last night spent away from familiar bed and roof, one last surprise waiting for us: dear Chip was laid off, part of a corporate restructuring of which Chip wasn't the only casualty--- there are a lot of fancy words used to describe it, words that have become far too familiar for so many of us of late.

But new challenges await us, this is something I know. We have each other, and we have faith. There is beauty to be found even in these pavement cracks. I've laid low for this many days, collecting my thoughts and coming to a place where I am able to share these words with you. In the meantime, life beckons. The days roll on. Alice is growing and wanting more of me to stretch her mind and lengthen the reach of her understanding. She reminds me that even when the daily foundation of my life seems destined to quake - even when I feel like the planet should stop spinning for an hour while I try to catch my breath - even when everything is changing and I can't hold on to a sliding bit of it---- the days still shift and turn, the sun goes down, night noises descend on the house and sleep--whatever small bit of it--comes. And then you get up in the morning.


Sibley Saga .... said...

Oh friend, I wish I could give you a hug in person. Isn't it mind-boggling how many 'hits' a person can take and still 'get up in the morning' like you say? I too, wish the world would stop long enough for me to catch my breath. Hugs. Prayers. And love from NM.

tearese said...

Oh no, I'm so sorry! And things like that always seem to happen when you've spent more money than usual on something (like a trip) and it makes it ten times more distressful. I hope you will all be okay.

Stacey said...

I'm sorry! I hope he finds something quickly and that it turns into a blessing in disguise (and by this I mean less travel and more permanence at home!) Good luck with the hunt.

Alicia said...

Chip will find something great that will allow him to be home more.

Saying this out loud to the universe.

Elizabeth said...

Holy crap, that stinks. Poor you guys. I am sending lots of good job mojo your way.

Rainyday said...

Not fun. Come on, Universe, time for some magic!!

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry! Sending lots of good thoughts your way. Beth

~Aimee~ said...

::BIG GIANT HUGS:: I will keep you all in my prayers and hope that this will be a short time, remembered as a slight cramp in your style. In the meantime, relish all the time you can spend together as a family and balance the stress of the finances with building amazing memories. I think that was the biggest blessing for us, how much time we had Steve with us and the freedom that afforded us. He got to be very tuned in for most of those huge milestones in Jason's life. He was able to be a part of all of Jilly's evaluations and beginning preschool. Heck, I loved being able to do visiting teaching or hanging out with a friend without having to bring my kids or plan around nap time. You will make it through this! You will learn and grow, you'll be hurt yet you will triumph over it. You guys are amazing and we're here as your friends to buoy you up when you're overwhelmed. (Chocolate works really well ;-)) You can do hard things! Love you!

clueless but hopeful mama said...

Oh Whimsy. Just seeing this now.

Sending you all the best, brightest and well-paying of wishes. oxox