Tuesday, August 16, 2011

from such great heights

There are things I know, that I've always known: the bliss of a quiet afternoon spent in sun and shade, the comforting presence of a well-loved book, the healing power of a hug, the sweetness that comes when music reaches into your heart to tell you Yes, this is hard, but things are going to be okay.

Somehow, the truth of that last one has the habit of receding like the tide--- pulling so far from my view that I can't hold it in my  hands and make it true until it is ready to come back to me, rushing around my ankles and knees in wave after wave until I am surrounded by the solace of beautiful music, buoying my heart and my body.  And then I'm floating in it: sweet comfort that only music can give.  Music deep and lovely, ethereal and palpable at once.

Such was yesterday's small gift of grace.  I worked quietly at my boss' home office--- he was at meetings for most of the morning and I had the run of his house, the walls echoed quietly with papers shuffling until I turned on Pandora and chose my Regina Spektor station, thinking that if nothing else, I'd be entertained.  Chip tells me my music choices are so melancholy it's a wonder I don't lay down and die.  I like to think of my taste as bittersweet, emphasis on sweet.  And Ms. Spektor and her contemporaries didn't disappoint.  In fact, they soothed and calmed my irritated soul.

As I poured over invoices and receipts, a feeling of longing crept in--- a longing for more sweet, more sass, more hope, more flippy dresses viewed in late-August light, more blue skies tinged with gray clouds (my favorite kind, you are not surprised), and yes--- more music.  I welcome all of that.


Pickles and Dimes said...

I totally relate to this. I haven't been listening to music very much at all lately. Then last weekend, I bought 2 new CDs and listened to them in my car. One of the songs nearly brought me to tears. The next day I brought my iPod to work and had my most productive and creative day ever. Thanks for this.

Alicia said...

Regina Spektor really gets on my nerves, for sundry reasons. The Pandora station I created is mostly suicidal. I sometimes turn it on, though, and it'll play Duran Duran and Queen. I don't get it. But mostly, yes: suicide.

Sibley Saga .... said...

I like it. I like the bittersweet. I like dark chocolate for that reason.

This is one of the many things I miss about you. I love your mad crazy skills in putting together a playlist.

The bittersweet slogging through life is where I am. London has failed some hearing tests and is going in for testing, day after tomorrow, for possible seizure activity. Bitter.

Sweet. Because I get to have her in my life. I may never get to have another child but I do have at least one set of chubby arms around my neck pushing my face around to try and communicate with me and eventually grinning at me.

Chelle said...

So so so good to see you guys last weekend. Seriously, it was the highlight of the picnic for me. And I'm happy about your good news; I hope things continue to brighten for you guys! Silly that we never hung out while we were actually in the ward - but good to sit and chat with such great people!