choose your own creamery adventure

If you were given the choice (and let's just say, you ARE being given the choice) between the following, which would you choose:


- No updates unless Whimsy has something Interesting to say, which means that it might be a good long while before she updates.


- No updates unless Whimsy has a cute photo of Alice to post, perhaps without any commentary at all, because dude, we could snack on those cheeks for a week.


- An update about nothing, but at least some words in there. Which could categorize at least three-quarters of The Creamery's content anyway.


- An update about nothing, with perhaps at least a little bit of effort on Whimsy's part, say, to include a picture or two and some blurb about how she's still hanging out with her parents and maybe she took some pictures of the Neighborhood Chickens so hey, let's look at chickens.


- An update about nothing, with the added benefit of pictures of chickens AND a photo of the Little Brother and Chip standing in LB's backyard (they are both holding shovels). Maybe also a picture of the cat that bit Whimsy and tried to use her leg for a scratching post.


- An update about nothing. Except something about how Alice is STILL EATING BARK. (Which, this might not be a true option because really, all it would say is this: ALICE IS STILL EATING BARK.


- Pictures of cows.


- An in-depth and hilarious post about the hundreds of seagulls that tried to fly off with Alice two weeks ago in Spokane. Until Chip threw his shoe at them. And they took us a lot more seriously after that. (Never mind, I'm scratching this option off the list too because I just told you the whole story. Am stupid.)


- Pictures of woodchucks. Because River Park in Spokane, Washington? Has lots of woodchucks. Now you know.

Woodchuck! For your trouble.

what do you do to keep your toddler happy at your parents' house

You design and build spectacular robots that are sure to help the world.




And then your husband throws little lego-sized fireballs at the friendly robot. He loses an arm.




And his head.




And then a giant green ball comes rolling out of nowhere to squish him flat.




Who could possibly be the culprit?




Oh yes. She looks quite proud of her work.




Bye bye robot.

a whimsy vignette

This is Whimsy. Say hello, Whimsy.


This is Whimsy last night, putting baby girl to bed at Grammy and Grampy's house. The baby girl's room is across the hall from Whimsy's. Baby girl stays in the red, white, and blue room. Grammy is a patriotic sort and has dedicated a room to her favorite color trio. There are flags and books and lots of patriotic knick-knacks.

Whimsy is staying in the purple room, though there is nary a purple tidbit to be found. The room used to have bright purple carpet. It doesnt' any longer, but the name has stuck. This story is not about the purple room or the purple carpet.

This story is about Whimsy putting the baby girl to bed. As we have already established.

On their first night at Grammy and Grampy's the baby girl didn't sleep very well or very long. She was up quite early. Whimsy would like to amend that statement to HEINOUSLY EARLY. Now now, don't be dramatic, Whimsy. When trying to figure out why the baby girl woke so early, Whimsy decided that it was the morning light streaming into the bedroom. So last night, as she is putting baby girl to bed, she asks Grampy if there is anything to be done to darken the room.

Here is Whimsy, standing on the red, white, and blue bedspread, reaching up to the top of the first window (there are two). She is holding a comically! entertaining! bright! beach towel. The frogs are laughing at her as she stretches to get the towel over the window. The frogs say, Nice try.

Here is Grampy, suggesting thumb tacks? And Grammy, getting into the spirit as she brings back something known in the household as a QUILLO. It is a quilt AND a pillow because the quilt can fold up into this pocket here, at the bottom. Clever! The quillo is fairly small and has cats on it. The cats look unimpressed as Whimsy stretches as far as her short arms will take her, hoping that she won't pull the curtain rod down. Here is Grampy, holding one end of the quillo and pausing to shout directions to Whimsy. Pull up here! Pull it over! Push it down behind the rod! That's it! Grampy is very encouraging. Whimsy is sweating.

Let's watch as Whimsy steps back to observe if the quillo has made one bit of difference in the room. It has--- there is improvement--- Whimsy is impressed just as the quillo falls off the window and lands back on the red, white, and blue bedspread. Whimsy sighs.

Grampy is now holding the quillo as Whimsy (again) stands on the bed and stretches beyond measure. She notices a cramp forming in the base of her neck. She soldiers on. Whimsy seems happy with her work, but what is that? A whole open quarter of the window, uncovered? Whimsy asks for another light blanket. No, not the frog towel. The frogs laugh. Watch as Whimsy fastens another red, white, and blue blanket up over the curtain rod. She sees the silhouettes of flags. Grammy is pleased that the new window coverings are keeping so nicely with the theme of the room.

Grammy and Grampy ask about the other window, but Whimsy is tired. As is the baby girl, who is currently gathering bark from the indoor planter and bringing it in grimy fistfuls to the room. Whimsy says no, let's not worry about it. Grammy and Grampy say goodnight to Alice and leave to watch CSI.

Whimsy looks at baby girl, says that we have to still brush teeth, say prayers, and read Goodnight Moon. Alice is unimpressed.

Watch Whimsy as she brings Alice back into the red, white, and blue room after wrestling a toothbrush into Alice's mouth. Alice is a little bit irritated with Whimsy. Oh the indignity of having someone else jam a toothbrush into your mouth! Whimsy is setting up the radio for some low white noise (ocean sounds) to drown out the rest of the house noises. As she does so, she is thinking about that second uncovered window. She is also thinking about that rude 5am wake up call from Miss Alice. Watch Whimsy as she realizes that yes, it would be best to cover that second window.

Whimsy doesn't want to bother her parents with yet another window operation. Instead, let's watch her as she frantically looks for a blanket that will be light, but also big enough to cover the second window. Look how she's smiling because she has found another quillo in the closet.

Now let's see how Whimsy is ignoring Miss Alice (who is fretting inside the pack and play) to try to scale the edge of the bed in order to reach the second window. A window that is much less optimally placed on the wall, so to say. Look at how far Whimsy's arms reach as she teeters on the edge of the bed and frantically jams bits of blanket into the curtain rod! Ouch! Whimsy is pulling her fingers back and sucking on one of them helplessly. It appears that the quillo she is using isn't quite finished - and is, in fact, riddled with many sharp pins. Wow, Whimsy appears to be done with one side of the window, but can't reach the far end. Let's watch her as she figures out that her only option is to balance on a rocking chair to reach the other side of the window. That rocking chair doesn't seem very stable, Whimsy. Especially when the first side of the blanket (with the PINS) falls off the curtain rod and toward your arms. That's a very nice scratch. Whimsy is back up on the bed now, repeating her earlier efforts. Jam, jam, jam, tuck, OUCH (pin). Jam, jam, jam, tuck. Whimsy is ready to get back onto the rocking chair. She holds her stomach muscles in and reaches very high. On tip toes, now, Whimsy! And--- finally! Looks like Whimsy has covered that pesky second window! But not without knocking the little wooden ball off the top of a lamp.

Watch as Whimsy crawls around on her hands and knees to find that wooden ball. And... ball found! Whimsy is triumphant!

And oh no, look: the blanket has fallen again.

Good luck with that, Whimsy.

worth it

Someone please tell me what it is about flying on an airplane that totally screws up your internal, um, workings. I mean, seriously. What is it? It certainly couldn't be the totally delightful egg and cheese bisquit (only 99 cents!) I scarfed down at the airport Wendy's. And definitely not the homemade oatmeal and chocolate chip cookies I ate in my parent's truck on our 90-minute trip to their house from the airport. I'm also ruling out the cheeseburger I ate sometime shortly after that. I mean, come on, those are perfectly normal meals! I blame the AIRPLANE.

We are here, at my parents' place, lovingly embraced by homecooked meals, toys that have been passed down and played with by literally hundreds of giddy children, and blankets that remind me of being twelve. It's good to be here.

However. Grammy's house is not Alice-proof. So not even close to Alice-proof. In the last fourteen hours I have:

- Reminded Alice that WE DON'T EAT DOG FOOD. x 20 instances
- Pulled chunks of bark out of Alice's kung fu grip. x 8 instances
- Reminded Alice that WE DON'T EAT BARK. x 6 instances.
- Removed bits of bark debris from Alice's mouth. x a lot of instances.
- Yelled DON'T STICK YOUR HAND IN THERE. x 10 instances.
- Unplugged the upstairs stereo.
- Unplugged several lamps.
- Relocated two vases.
- Moved two framed pictures from table tops to dresser tops.
- Yelled SERIOUSLY DON'T STICK YOUR HAND IN THERE. x 4 instances.
- Sang the Popcorn Popping song solo, much like a performing monkey, with family members looking on, because my child loves this song, and will normally do all the little hand signals that go with the song, but because she is being watched she clearly does not want to perform. SING, MAMA, SING! x 3 instances.
- Been so happy to see Alice exploring, getting to know her Grammy and Grampy. x more instances than I can count.

12:04pm. Arrived slc.

Well. That was uneventful. And awesome. A nearly EMPTY plane, a happy toddler, and the backpack performed very well.

Fact : as of this flight, Alice has flown on sixteen flights. More than all the flying I did altogether before my twentieth birthday.
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