Monday, October 20, 2008

we fought the rosemary

And we won. In The Great and Terrible Rosemary War, part the first: Pre-Battle, I am suiting up my uniform (sweats, long sleeve t-shirt, sweatshirt, scarf on head).
Chip: Is that what you're going to wear?
Whimsy: Yes.
Chip: I don't want to scare you, but do you have anything that is a little, um, tighter around the ankles?
Whimsy: Um...I don't think so. I guess I could tie ribbon around my ankles if that would help. ARE YOU SAYING YOU WANT ME TO TIE RIBBON AROUND MY ANKLES?
Chip: No, not exactly. I just think you need to be more prepared.

In The Great and Terrible Rosemary War, part the second: The First Assault, I am working up a royal sweat while madly raking under the trailing bushes. I work fast enough to not actually register the spiders and other creepie crawlies.
Chip: How's it going?
Whimsy: Are you out here to track my progress?
Chip: No, not really. I just wanted to see how you were doing.
Whimsy: I'm fine. No spiders.
Chip: Give it time.

In The Great and Terrible Rosemary War, part the third: New Battle Front, I am still working up a sweat and I manage to look pathetic enough that Chip picks up a pair of clippers.
Whimsy: What are you doing?
Chip: Helping.
Whimsy: Isn't that sweet? Still no spiders, you know.

In The Great and Terrible Rosemary War, part the fourth: Enemy Retreat, I am still (yes, still) working up a sweat. I jump a little and make a small OH noise.
Chip: What?! Did you see a spider???
Whimsy: Um... no. Just an earwig. We're fine.

In The Great and Terrible Rosemary War, part the fifth: End in Sight, I am still (still still still) working up a sweat. I am reaching behind the bushes to catch some of the woody stems and trim them.
Chip: You are both brave and CRAZY.
Whimsy: What? It's fine. See, still no spiders.

In The Great and Terrible Rosemary War, part the sixth: Itsy Bitsy, I am nearing the end of the raking. I have yet to find any major spiders. It's almost disappointing.

In The Great and Terrible Rosemary War, part the seventh: Aftermath. Sunday early afternoon. We are getting into the car for church. Chip notices something on the garage wall.


The Wife said...

Speaking of the Natural Order of Things.

There seems to have been a Baby Boom in our apartment complex.

Baby Slugs.

You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?

Alice said...

i sort of wish you'd tied ribbon around your ankles, just because that would have been a fantastic sight ;-)

this sounds like a reason not to clean to me. not if it will upset the natural Spider Order around here.

Shelly Overlook said...

I have to agree with Alice on all counts. Next time we need pics of your warfare attire, please.

Cherish said...

I was totally going to ask for pictures but shelly beat me to it!

wandering nana said...

Just wanted to thank you. Your spiders must have heard about our spider free yard and lack of bushes to be trimmed, and have shown up HERE!! I was vacuuming a little mess and came across the mother of all mothers Wolf spider. I accidentally sucked him up.... thank goodness it is the outdoors vacuum but now I'm not real crazy about going outside, something about vengeance keeps ringing in my head and millions of babies...ohhhhh. By the way, for slugs, they love beer. Put some in a lid from a bottle and they crawl in but can't get out do they drown... or they have slug stuff you can buy. Please for my safety..... stay away from the bushes for a while. "}