It feels like the longest day, turned into the longest week--- surreal and strange and as far from normal as can be.
It feels like I have so much to say, but when I find a spare moment (Thursday afternoon, the first opportunity for solitary thought) the words don't come.
Thursday morning I took a shower while Bean watched an Elmo DVD (sending thanks and brainwaves of love to dear Karen and Sharon for their AWESOME gift, again). I turned the water as hot as it could go--- watched the steam rise in waves off the tile. I breathed in deep long breaths, felt the steam come through my sinuses, give me the gift of clear breathing. And as my breathing cleared, I felt the clouds in my head clear too: a sense of tomorrow, a sense of next week and next month came to me without any pain, with only the promise that plans can give, which is this: possibility.
I felt the promise of possibility return, and that is so very good.
Bean and I are in New Mexico for another five days. We got here late Monday night (really Tuesday morning). Chip will be joining us over the weekend. There are stories I still want to tell: funny things and kind things and weird things. I need to wait a little longer for the words for those stories. And speaking of which, I have to tell you that this is normally my favorite time of the year, with not one but TWO exciting things to celebrate: Chip's birthday AND Halloween. Both of them have been heavily impacted by recent events. So. I made an executive decision and declared a delay in both of these proceedings. We WILL be celebrating Halloween (afterall, Bean already has her costume) and Chip's birthday, with a twist. After we all get back, and after we've had a couple of days to breathe and return to normal---- the celebrations will commence. And be broadcast and shared here at The Creamery. Of course.
Thank you for your kind thoughts and emails and prayers and texts and other various mental and spiritual and electronical bits of support. I have felt these gifts of grace lift me up and give me strength.
Now tell me all your plans for Halloween. And tell me what color I should make the frosting for Chip's belated birthday cake. I miss you all terribly, and would love to have a full-to-the-brim in-box.
Commence comments now!