Thursday, September 15, 2011

navel gazing of the second part

(I'm not sure what happened, but this entire post was hijacked by EXTREME CAPS LOCK USAGE, and I'm just going to apologize for it here.  Carry on.)

As something of a long-time blog reader (I stalked people LONG BEFORE I ever had the guts to introduce myself or put this little old Creamery out on the internets), I consider myself a pretty decent source of truth when I say the following:


I don't mean any disrespect to any of y'all who are busy blogging about the belly when it's not the first time around - but I know what I know.  When it's your first time, there's all this awesome discovery of the heinous and weird and completely unbelievable crap that your body goes through.  It's funny.  And horrifying.  And also strangely touching, in the best way possible. 

But those second babies---- well, there isn't a lot said about them.  The strange discoveries are done and gone, and while it's still awesome, the being pregnant stuff--- there is clock-watching that just doesn't make for a good blog entry.

Be that as it may, I promise I won't be totally silent over here (if ever - ha!).  And I feel bad that I haven't said much more about little Polly.  But I get it, I get it in a visceral way that I didn't before: I don't have the same sense of intense focus on this belly that I did with Bean.  How could I?  Bean herself is doing so much to keep my attention focused outside of myself --- I'm doing a preschool co-op with some friends that starts next week (more on this later), and until very recently I felt like every day that I actually spent upright was a TOTAL WIN, which meant that my personal expectations were down to LET'S CELEBRATE THAT WHIMSY GOT DRESSED TODAY and LET'S TOAST WHIMSY THAT SHE MANAGED TO CLEAN THE BATHROOM.  It didn't leave a lot of room for writing navel-gazing missives about my hopes and fears for Baby Whimsy #2.

And now that I'm here, on the other side of First Trimester Sickfest, the intense view of WHAT HAVE I DONE fades into smoke and I'm feeling...  optimistic.  And even... excited.

Which means that I can say, as if I'm discovering it for the first time:


tearese said...

yeah, I didn't start my blog until after my first was born, so I felt okay talking a little about number two, though I was still trying to figure out what kind of stuff I wanted on my blog. With number three, I went into much more detail, and took a lot more pictures.
With three, I didn't want to bore everyone so yeah, I talked about it a lot less, then I felt guilty that the baby would feel I cared about him less than the others. But I also didn't want to post things that would attract less comments. Which is a dumb reason, but it's true.

tearese said...

I mean with four. Four.

Alicia said...

"I felt okay talking a little about number two." Heh.

You want to hear a sad story? With Kieran, I think I had something like 4 showers. With Anneke, I had zero. I even wrote something in her baby book about, "Poor neglected second baby - no showers" on the Baby Shower!! page.

And it would have been okay, except that then I had showers with Griffon and Archer. I think I had two small ones with Griffon and a small work one with Archer. So, yeah. Really sad. I live in fear that she will one day notice this. Which normally I would think is an irrational fear, except that this is EXACTLY THE TYPE OF THING THAT WOULD PISS HER OFF.

And the peeing. Oh, you know it will get much worse.