the story behind the story

It is incredibly FREEING to have that little secret out in the open.  Writing anything for the past couple of months has been so weird - with so much of what I've been experiencing colored by the fact that we're going to have another baby.  ANOTHER BABY.  I will now tell you some of the other fun details that I left off previously:


1. We found out we were pregnant two days into our GRAND SUMMER FIVE STATE 25-DAY ROAD TRIP EXTRAVAGANZA.  There was me, a test I'd just thrown into my bag for kicks, and the funny feeling I had waking up that morning.  I figured I'd just take the test... as a test.  For the future.  Because we'd decided that we were going to get started on Alice's future sibling.  In a million years, I wasn't expecting a positive test.  Let alone, a test that showed its results not in three minutes, but THREE SECONDS.  My first reaction?  I laughed.  I just couldn't believe it.

And neither could Chip, but this time around, he didn't make me take an additional five tests--- just to make sure, just in case.


2. I have been through every shade of opinion and worry about Alice as Big Sister.  She is going to be amazing, I know this.  But my worries have been mostly centered on her COMPLETE HORROR over finding me holding another baby.  In this case, it was her baby cousin Carter while we were visiting the Little Brother in Utah.  Alice howled, just howled - and then literally begged me to give the baby back.  I don't think that even early pregnancy symptoms could outweigh the overwhelming desire I had to vomit right there on the spot, feeling like I was betraying this sweet little Bean-girl.  But she has been full of surprises - and as we've talked to her about the joys (and the realities) of having a sibling, she has somehow come around.  And when we actually told her the other day that she was going to have a baby brother or sister, she was excited.  Truly excited.

Let's not discuss the fact that so far she seems to see this future sibling as some kind of a pet--- and has actually asked for a "little cage, like for a hamster, to put him in".  Which, also to point out: she has made clear that she will only accept a baby brother.  There is no discussion or even glimmer of a possibility of a sister, just brother.  So.


3.  I'm due March 20.


4. I have been sick and queasy and exhausted for weeks now, but I am feeling the first inklings of Second Trimester Return to Normalcy.


5. And last, but most certainly not least: thank you all for your wonderful well-wishes and sweet notes of confidence.  There is a lot more to say about my worries and hopes for this little tadpole baby.  And rest assured, I'm going to talk your ear off about all of it.  Because dude: BABY.  But speaking of which, so far the only name that has stuck, relatively speaking, is Polly.  There's this song that Alice loves to listen to from the Bare Naked Ladies' album for kids, called Pollywog in a Bog.  And, well...  when we saw that first ultrasound, with P's arms wiggling there by his head, it just stuck.  And yes, I said HE, even though we have no concrete idea, and won't know until late October, but I have a feeling, and so does Alice...