Friday, May 30, 2008


Just when we thought that we had nipped the invasion in the bud, it turns out that Fred and Wilma had a long-term plan in place - wherein their many many hundreds of offspring would descend on us in the summer of 2008. Luckily, Chip happened to notice a strange sort of brown bump on our front rain gutter, a bump the size of a dime, when he drove into the driveway this afternoon. The bump turned out to be a biomass of teeny tiny spiders. Spiders that may appear cute and tiny NOW - but given a nice few weeks of snacking will become the behemoth skulking creatures we discovered last year in the rosemary. CREATURES THAT ARE PLOTTING TO OVERCOME OUR HOUSE, KILL US IN OUR SLEEP, AND THEN WEAR OUR SKINS LIKE COATS SO THEY CAN INCORPORATE THEMSELVES INTO SOCIETY.

Upon further investigation, much chemical warfare (including a nice MacGuyver'ed FLAME THROWER in the guise of a can of hairspray and a fireplace lighter thingy), Chip eradicated the tiny monsters. He found an additional SIX OTHER NESTS around the outside of the house.

Shudder shudder shudder.


Chip said...

picnic at our house anyone?!

You should have seen the ninja skills this husband displayed to protect his family from the 8 legged arch rival. Slugs and spiders beware!

stacie d said...

i'm rethinking my visit - will the coast be clear in 6 days?!?! i don't want my skin to be worn as a coat.

actually...i can be your assistant, chip! if the killer spiders return i'll help you burn those suckers!!

artemisia said...

Ack! I wouldn't be able to sleep because I would be sure I could hear those little buggers GROWING.