lessons

Do not post a "politics free" message on the day of one of the most pivotal elections in recent history. You will not get any comments, and your husband might feel bad. Especially when the politics-free message is about his birthday celebration (including adorable pictures of ragamuffin child donning a festive birthday hat).


Do not forget that a blog post about FLATULENCE will garner 10+ comments. Remember: more weird conversations about body functions.


Do not visit the grocery store at 5:30pm on election day. It is inexplicably busy. Like CRAZY busy.


Do not hand coupons to your grocery clerk at the beginning of the transaction. You will make him very cranky and he will tell you I CAN'T TAKE THOSE RIGHT NOW. DON'T HAND THEM TO ME. YOU NEED TO WAIT UNTIL THE END. You will then listen to him repeatedly explain to his fellow checkers that he got his jacket at Urban Outfitters. You will notice that he isn't currently wearing a jacket.


Do not schedule ill-advised grocery store trip with small girl child during her recently removed 6 o'clock nap. Plan the trip for earlier in the day, when she won't fall asleep in the cart and resist repeated attempts to wake her. This, the child that normally wakes up when someone looks at her too loudly.


Do not think about a Lessons blog post at 2am when you can't sleep, reminding yourself that you have six lessons to share. You will wake in the morning and only remember three, maybe four of them.


Do not try to be witty after a sleepless night.