Friday, November 21, 2008

who knew?

Apparently, if you stop worrying about a cat's dreadlocks, they will eventually all migrate from her wooly body to various parts of the house. I found one on the kitchen floor yesterday that was the size of Boston. Later I checked to see if Phoebe even had any hair left on her thigh and as I ran my hands down her fuzzy body I realized that the colony of dreadlocks had just up and gone. At that time she still had three or so, but after a recent petting session (just a few minutes ago), she's down to ONE. Who knew?

Apparently, it's not a good idea to attempt a ill-timed Dye Job on your friend Kate's hair while both children (one hers, one mine) are still conscious. Doing the dye job during this ill-conceived threat zone called "should be nap time, but isn't" will result in two children crying their eyes out and literally PAWING AT THEIR MOTHER'S PANT LEGS while the mothers (both quite occupied, thankyouverymuch) go from Concerned and Reassuring Cooing to Concern with a Hint of Rising Stress to Absolute Bedlam to Hysterical Laughter at the Sheer Absurdity. The laughter was cathartic but no less helpful to the crying infants. At one point Kate was standing in her living room, hair smooshed and covered in hair dye, holding both babies (one under each arm) as the kids cried, Kate's mouth a perfect O. I was in the kitchen at the time, maniacally trying to get those stupid gloves off my hands so I could rush to help. Proper hair maintenance and motherhood are mutually exclusive. Who knew?

Apparently, an 8-month-old baby defies the laws of physics and gravity, especially when said infant is having her diaper changed. Who knew?

Apparently, a cat who is told to stay off the bed because the husband is having some wicked kind of freak allergy attack is incapable of staying OFF the bed. I kicked her off no less than twenty-five times in a half hour. (Yes, that means she tried to jump back up as soon as I pushed her off. The memory of a gnat, that one.) Who knew?

Apparently, a wonderfully freakishly fabulously Good Day requires an equally horrific one for balance. Who knew?

Apparently, measuring cups are the most coveted toy in the house (second only to the cell phone). Who knew?

Apparently, a freakish rush to make baby food that results in a freezer crammed with tiny towers of ziploc storage containers will not encourage your husband to agree when you say that you're going to be buying more of those ziploc containers. Who knew?

Apparently, it's Friday. Who knew?


Alice said...

haha, that's rule #1 of cathood: the more your owner doesn't want you someplace, the more appealing that specific location becomes.

i am sort of alarmed about the dreadlock situation, though. i feel like i'd find the rogue locks nestled in my sheets, or someplace equally unsavory.

Kristi said...

Do you think that ignoring my dog's dreadlocks will make them go away too?

Anonymous said...

such an awesomely funny memory of the Hair Dying/Infant Babysitting experience!! Let's not repeat it, though ;-) I'm sure we can find other, equally as absurd things to do together! K8