Wednesday, May 27, 2009

mission statement

Hi. Welcome to The Creamery. Do you know why you come here? I know why you come here. And it's not necessarily to see this:

(Though I know - totally goofy and adorable, right?)


I've been mulling over Heavy Stuff lately. The world is so full to the gills with Heavy Stuff that in most cases it just seems like Stuff now. I turned on the news this morning and found myself actually cringing from the headlines. Each one was like a physical assault: mothers and daughters kidnapped, missing children that aren't considered topical news anymore, a small 4-year-old girl strangled to death in an accident with a treadmill (nevermind that her father is famous or treacherous or whatever you call biting another person's ear clean off). Not to mention Korea, Iraq, terrorist bombs, the wobbly planet-wide economic confusion. Heavy stuff. It can drag you into a deep dark hole. It can leave you there, pondering the meaning of light and if it even exists in a world so weighted down.

I haven't covered Heavy Stuff here much. Chip and I found ourselves talking about that last night: how there are things that spill through my mind on occasion, but I don't give a lot of space to those waters here. How I dictate what the tone is here each day, and the fact that I make a conscious choice to do what I do, to say what I say - and to voice the question: is this a true picture of who I am? We patted the question back and forth last night for a good long while.

We didn't resolve the question in those darkened hours. We let things percolate. I let things sit in my brain as I dreamt and considered who I am at this moment, and who I'm going to be.

I like to think that The Creamery is a close-ish record of who I am. But more importantly, it is this:

A place to put down those thoughts that I most want to remember. Even if they aren't Big Thoughts. Even if they aren't Big Thoughts revolving around Heavy Stuff. And the distinction: these are the things that I most want to remember for myself. I'm not sure if I even care that I'm remembered by others for these things.

Which is why the Heavy Stuff doesn't see a lot of screen time. The Heavy Stuff is important. It's important to me - even if I don't say so. But I'm not sure if I want to talk about it all the time. It's enough that it creeps in to our daily conversations, that it tinges the things we say with a greenish light. I think you can tell who I am and what I stand for by the way I say what I say - and not because I tell you: THIS IS IMPORTANT TO ME AND I'LL TELL YOU WHY. It's the difference between doing what I say and doing what I do. I want to be a parent that can say to Alice, Follow my example. I do my best to be the kind of person that I want you to be. You don't have to listen to the words themselves, just listen to the way they are said.

In the end, this place, The Creamery, is a sacred space for me. And I hope it's a special place for you too. That's why you come here, you know. Because you can tell that I sweep these floors regularly. I wash the windows to let in lots of light. I make sure it always smells good. I put flowers out on the table. I make fresh lemonade. And I invite you to come in, sit with me. Let's talk.

8 comments:

serenity now said...

As usual, beautifully said. You have a gift for communicating clearly with words.

Shelly Overlook said...

Your lemonade is delightful and I marvel at the shininess of your swept floors. Thanks for having me.

Amy said...

That's exactly why I come here.

Sibley Saga .... said...

I get weighed down with heavy stuff, too. Makes me feel bluey or grey. The creamery reminds me that I have parts that are more green. Or purpley. Even pink. Much lighter stuff.

wandering nana said...

I love the Creamery. I like to read all the different stories, feelings, frustrations and of course about the beautiful Alice. You can leave the Heavy Stuff to the TV and papers and even talk about it when you want to.... I will read whatever you write, because I like your thoughts. "}

M said...

Why do I come here?

Why do I come here?

YOU.

You are why I come here.

For those ineffable qualities that make you--YOU. You shed light into the world in the ways that no one else can. You cock your head and look at me and say, "Dude. What about ______?" And suddenly I see the world with different eyes. That's what you've been doing all along...its in all the things you bring here, because it's in YOU.

I guess what I'm rambling about is that I come here in search of you...and lucky for me, I find you here.

Spadoman said...

I like coming here. It's like visiting a friend. You talk to us. That's what I attempt to do. You are very good at it. And yer kid is cute. (Mom is too!)

Heidi W. said...

I come here in search of you. You have a way with words and the Creamery is a peaceful place. You are a beautiful person inside and out. If Alice grows up to be just like you she will be a lucky girl. I love you my sweet friend.