Tuesday, October 27, 2009

the beginnings of a scary story




It started when we came home from our trip to Eastern Washington last month. While I was unpacking things in the kitchen, Chip was making the rounds outside of the house to check the garbage can and barbeque grill and other manly outdoorsy duties. After some time, he walked into the kitchen and sighed, "There are mushrooms in the backyard."

"A lot of mushrooms?" I asked.

He nodded, "Yes. A lot of mushrooms. And I don't know what we're going to do about them."

I suggested that we just pick them, one by one. Which is exactly what we did. They seemed to disintigrate as I pulled them from the lawn: clammy white things with dark brown tops, bits of them sticking to my fingers and the backs of my hands. One mushroom, two mushrooms, three mushrooms, four, five, counting higher and higher as I tried to rid the yard. After a long session of mushroom irradication I went inside, happy to know the job was done.

But just a few weeks later, they were back: bigger and more plentiful--- spreading in a wide arc through the backyard. Skinny white stalks with ragged tops in dark brownish black and bright orange tiny round buttons and mishapen tan nasty things the size of my fist. Again I bent low to the grass, pulling them into my hands and dropping them singly into the bucket I carried. I tried to grab each one low at the base, as close to the grass as I could reach--- hoping that I could avoid repeating the chore.

And that's when I came up with an idea.

Two ideas, actually.

Idea #1: Ask The Great and Powerful Facebook how one might go about ridding her lawn of Mushroom Infestation 2009. Results: not so great. My commenters were... less than helpful, though funny (I seriously did love the comments... I did). Ranging from suggestions of less rain (yeah, I'll try that) to DON'T EAT THEM - THEY ARE POISONOUS (which, yes, thank you). In the end, I checked the internet. Suggestions there were also a bit varied, but I'm going to try baking soda sprinkled on the areas and then soaked in with water (which the constant rain will certainly help).

which brings us to

Idea #2: (totally unrelated, and you'll see why) LET'S WRITE A HALLOWEEN STORY! I'm going to post the beginning of the story here tomorrow. It starts with (naturally) MUSHROOMS. But I'll not finish the whole story here. I'll leave it with a cliffhanger and then pick a random commenter to pick up the story on Thursday - who will also leave it with a cliffhanger and do the same thing: pick a random commenter to finish the story on Friday. Like when you used to sit around at a sleepover or around a campfire and you'd start a story, but then the person sitting next to you would pick it up after a few sentences and the story would continue around the circle until it ended. Fun, yes? (or no - but I'm not sure if I care that you don't think it will be fun... IT WILL BE FUN BECAUSE I SAY SO).

Now go pick those mushrooms. Or tell me how to get rid of mine.

8 comments:

Shelly Overlook said...

I love to eat mushrooms, but for some reason the wild ones that grow in my yard totally gak me out. I hate the smell and I just find them to be creepy.

KAY said...

aaaaggghhh -- you're destroying smurf habitat!!

Kimberly said...

Hey if you figure it out, how to get rid of them, PLEASE let me know your secret!!! Thanks!

wandering nana said...

Haven't you always had mushrooms in your yard? I lived in a desert and had them in my grass I even had a ring of them and was told by the gardening center that it was called a Fairy Ring... cute... except that it was a fungus and was ruining my lawn. Maybe you could throw steaks on them.... mushrooms go really well with steak (heheheheheheheh)

Alicia @ bethsix said...

This is brilliant, Whimsy. You're very adept at using this space in a social way. Makes you even funner to read.

And I got nothin' on the mushrooms. I know they can be poisonous (DONOTEAT), but beyond that, I just always get excited when we have them. They're just so darn cute! We have never had an overgrowth, though... probably not as cute.

Erin P said...

I didn't think they ever hurt anything...my mom, when I was little, would tell us to just kick them over, which would prevent them from maturing and spores ripening, therefore spreading. But, if the spores are already in the grass (which they were), nothing you can do. Glad you know not to eat them.

What happened to your splinter finger? Is it better??

Amanda said...

I have a friend who had a mushroom problem. She had a lawn guy tell her that mushrooms grow where they can feed off of something that is rotting. Sometimes it's a fallen tree, frequently it's where a dog does his daily business and the grass is dying in that area.

Do you have anything dead and/or dying in your yard? Get rid of it.

That's all I've got. It may be total bs.

Rose said...

How did the baking soda work? I saw mushrooms on my lawn the other day and thought of you. :) I want my mushrooms gone too! They look like the ones you get at the store though... I'm not sure I want to try them though! :)