inquiry

The room was silent when I asked the question. No one had said anything for a minute or two - the quiet was reaching into my ears and making me squirm, making me feel like SOMEONE NEEDS TO SAY SOMETHING, RIGHT NOW. So I asked a question. An uncomfortable and personal question, but a question that I was curious about nonetheless.

"What inspires you?"

He'd told us that he was open for questions, that he was ready to talk to us. So I asked. I wanted to know. I really did.

It didn't matter to me that he was the CEO of a very large retail clothing company. Well, it did matter to me - but not in the way you think. It mattered because I really did want to know what inspires a person like that, what drives someone with that much vision, with that much influence, with that much power. I wanted to know something about this man whose decisions could make or break thousands of employees' futures. I wanted to see if I could learn something from this man.

My boss stood across the room and caught my eye briefly in the moment of silence after I'd asked. I think he wanted to die. Right there, he wanted to die. Because it seemed like I was being cheeky, when in fact, I was being totally sincere.

I stared at the CEO as he took in my question. I will never forget how he stopped and just ... blinked.

"What inspires you?"

He asked me then who I was. I'd actually met him a few times already, but I don't usually count on people to remember, so I told him. I knew his assistant, in that assistant-to-assistant underground network way.

"What inspires you?"

It was the first time I'd ever asked that question. But it wasn't the last. I've asked other people, people I admire, people I am curious about, people who have something to teach me. I've asked people to see if they'll give me a real answer or to see if they'll make something up (I can usually tell). I've asked the same person over and over to see how their answer will change. (It does... and then it doesn't... it's strange that way.)

It's a question I ask myself from time to time because I think it keeps me honest. If I can't answer, then I know I've temporarily misplaced my muse and I need to find it again.

"What inspires you?"

It took place ten years ago, but I remember the room - a gray blue conference room with nubby fabric on the walls. I remember the windows on the left side, how the afternoon sun was streaming through the blinds casting long yellow rectangles on the carpet. I remember that the CEO was standing out in front of the podium. I remember him looking out just over the tops of our heads for a moment, his hand cupping his chin. I remember him pursing his lips and taking a deep breath before he answered.

I do not remember his answer.

I remember everything about the moment, but nothing about what the man had to say. I'm not exactly sure what that means. I suppose he didn't have anything to say that inspired me. But I'm glad I asked. It reminds me that there's nothing wrong with surprising someone, with saying exactly what you mean. There is something so wonderfully simple about asking a question that makes someone think. A question that can make you think. A question that gives you a chance to learn something bone deep about a person. And like I said, I ask myself when I'm feeling particularly UNinspired, because the answer will help me to get back on track. Every time.

So I'm asking the question today, of myself, and of you. Tell me: What inspires you?