Wednesday, February 9, 2011

love (but it's over now)

What inspired this leap into the dark lurking place of bad romance stories is this: Chip and I, discussing how relationships and dating and the general area of romantic entanglement can bring out the best and the worst in us. It made me think, not just about all the yucky and dumb things that had been inflicted on me in my dating years, but also about the stupid things I had done. Which is why you're going to hear six stories that don't always paint me in the most positive light.

I once told a boy that my mother wouldn't let me go out with him. The truth was that I just didn't know how to tell him that I didn't want to talk to him or carry on a conversation with him or, you know, be his girlfriend - because I didn't think he was even remotely cute. And also because I didn't know how to talk to a boy or carry on a conversation with one or BE A GIRLFRIEND because I was twelve.

I was out with a guy, and in the process of placing my dinner order when the guy looked at me and said--- "Uh, we aren't on a date." To which I was all, "What?" And then he said, "We aren't on a date. You'll need to pay for your own food."

The first time I broke up with a boy I did it on the phone, while I was babysitting my niece at my sister's apartment. I think I said something like, "I just don't want to date you anymore." And then the boy said something like, "I'm going to listen to Roxette (It Must've Been Love) for the rest of time." And then I felt really dumb. I didn't feel bad (like I most certainly should have). I felt dumb. Because I'd ever gone out with a guy who was not only going to listen to Roxette, but actually felt comfortable enough that he could tell me about it. (You can hate me for sharing this. I sort of hate myself for admitting that I was this mean.)

After going out for several months, I stood in a guy's living room as we broke up. When I mentioned something about how we'd been dating for four months, he responded with this gem: "We weren't dating. We were hanging out."

In a case of faulty love wiring, I went a little... CRAZY after the break-up with the guy in story #4. So crazy, in fact, that I left a gift-wrapped CD on his doorstep for his birthday. Two months after we had broken-up from our "hanging out". It was a CD of an artist he HATED. And somehow I thought at the time that it was.... fitting? Or something? When I think of it now I just feel this overwhelming sense of DUMB.

and your bonus story of romantic misfortune is going to come from Chip, posted sometime today in the comments. It's worth the wait.


Pickles and Dimes said...

I love #2 the best. Ah, young love!

When I was 10, my boyfriend broke up with me at the roller rink because I wouldn't kiss him. I then tried to make him supremely jealous by attempting a cartwheel (the logic of this made total sense at the time). On rollerskates. It did not end well.

Chip said...

I was dating a single-mom while in college. Why were we together?... That’s a much longer story. The short end on my side is that she was freaking hot. For the big dumb single college hetero male, that is about 90%+ of our criteria for interest. I look back now and I know this among other things: Single moms have actual real life, emotional, substantial, experience & history. Way more than a self supporting college kid.
That semester I had manipulated all 18 credits my classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays (10 hours each of those days). I worked 2 jobs in Park City, UT on Monday Wednesday and Friday from 6am – 11pm. (I made approx $300 per day 3x per week) I was a motivated guy, but careless with my cash. Careless means that I spent my money on nicer restaurants, movies, and my car. Needless to say that I spent as much time with her, and her little fam, as I could, because that’s important too.
Turns out, if I was wasn’t at school or work, then I was at her place. As dudes sometimes do, I forgot which day was her birthday, and I hadn’t gotten her any present. She let me know how upset and disappointed she was that her boyfriend could forget such a thing. So in lieu of this mistake, I told her I’d take her clothes SHOPPING instead. She gave me the look of reluctant approval.
Thinking that I was doing the right thing, I immediatley took her to Ross, and told her confidently, “knock yourself out."
I can pin point that moment as the deal breaker, because we lasted only for a few more day
You tell me, was that right or wrong? :)

Mrs. Irritation said...

Oh, I love Chip!!!

Jayme said...

After dating for about six months, my birthday was approaching. For his, when we'd only been dating for two or three months, I'd arranged a co-worker to cover for him, and bought tickets to one of those outdoor all day several bands concerts. He lives for music. LOVED it.

So on MY birthday, I expected a little thought. Instead, after hanging out all day doing nothing, I got asked where I wanted to go for dinner (we never ate in back then, so that wasn't really special). On the way to dinner, he pulled into a little gas station store where he bought a birthday card, filled it out in the car with me sitting there, and put a handful of cash in it.

Seriously? I'm not your 15 year old granddaughter.

And yet... I married him two months later on a whim anyway.

We celebrated our 10 year anniversary in December.

Whimsy said...

You and me both, Mrs. Irritation.

(I can confidently say that he has since learned from this faux pas and has never taken me to a discount clothing retailer and lavished me with the exciting option of "knocking myself out".)

Whimsy said...

Oh Jayme, I love it. Clearly a diamond in the rough, there, right? And I suppose you can count on him to be making up that birthday for the rest of your life together?

Jayme said...

He did make it up to me a few weeks later by bringing me to see a play, which is totally outside his comfort zone.

ixBeths said...

I met Brad when I was 20, so I didn't really have a lot of time to accumulate all these dating stories.

My first boyfriend broke up with me after a year because he didn't like the faces I made. Thought they were too animated.

Another boyfriend broke up with me because I wouldn't sleep with him. In high school. When I think I was maybe 15. Winn. Er.

I decline to share the story of the long decline of my relationship right before Brad - and the length of time it took me to dump the guy - as it would make me look like the dumbest person you have ever met in your life.

angelalois said...

I have a friend who, when this boyfriend broke up with her right after they moved to BYU together (she was no longer the big fish in the little sea but the small fish in the big sea), she trashed the exterior of his car with oreos, hershey syrup, cookie dough, and other assorted sweet sundries. kinda weird but she felt great afterwards.