Wednesday, January 30, 2008

i'm sure the extra grilled chicken bits cost more than thirty-four cents

Dear Lynn,

It's not my fault that I ate your salad today. I blame the server who took my order over the phone. I clearly stated that I wanted a side Caesar salad and a small cheese pizza. I should have been clued in for problems ahead when she asked me what type of dressing I wanted on the CAESAR salad. Ummmm – Caesar, perhaps? I should have been even more concerned when she was ready to hang up the phone without finding out my name. For the order, you know?

I waited in the heinously long pick-up line, just as you did sometime after me, I’m sure. And when I finally reached the register, having witnessed some of the chaotic goings-on with all those pick-up orders, I was just so happy to be finally getting my food that maybe I didn’t speak clearly. I thought I said MY name at least 10 times, repeating the order I had placed a mere 15 minutes ago. Maybe I only said it 9 times, and 10 would have been the magic number? I don’t know. The dude at the register seemed put-off by my frequent repeating of my name and order: MY NAME IS WHIMSY AND I ORDERED A SMALL CHEESE PIZZA AND A SIDE CAESAR SALAD. After a moment, he returned with a bag (no pizza box in sight) and said that all he had for me was a Caesar salad. It didn’t help, for some reason, for me to hopefully repeat my order. They broke my SPIRIT, you see? As he was telling me that this was ALL HE HAD I turned to just leave, explaining that I was pregnant and hungry and it had been a very long couple of days and there was no way I could wait another 15 minutes for a cheese pizza. Which is all very true. His co-worker overheard the exchange and handed him a pizza box that apparently contained the other part of my order… but had someone else’s name on it. Lynn, I felt so bad when the server dude shook as he handed me my Coke and accidentally forgot to give me my $0.34 in change. I’m not a bad person, Lynn. I ate your salad but I let the guy keep my $0.34.

It wasn't until I was back at my desk, RAVENOUSLY HUNGRY and ready to consume the cardboard pizza box along WITH the pizza inside that I discovered I had YOUR full chicken Caesar salad, premixed with the dressing. I was just so terribly hungry by this time, you know? I couldn’t STAND it. I had to eat the salad and then also share half of it with K. I found the receipt with your name helpfully written across the top a few minutes later.

It makes a lot more sense now that the dude thought the pizza was for "someone else". That someone else was ME.



Artemisia said...

I would have felt so bad but I would have eaten every bite. Don't mess with me if I have low blood sugar and a crappy take out line.

tearese said...

oh no, thats funny. It seems a little too often that our orders are mixed up or wrong, which is kind of sad. I guess thats fast food for ya.

Pickles & Dimes said...

Oh, low blood sugar + being pregnant = TOTALLY JUSTIFIED.

Chelle said...

You are hilarious - and I absolutely love your posts. I must admit that someone leaked that info to me beforehand and told me to visit your blog... I just had to share.