the teething diaries: part 1

Yeah, so I'm really hoping that the first one is the WORST one. And we'll tackle molars once we cross that bridge... because if we're in for six+ months of THIS? Oh boy. That just makes me very nervous. Will be stocking up on copious amounts of fudge and roast beef sandwich material, because that's what got me through this day.

It seems that the little Bean is impervious to all known teething remedies:
- cold wash cloth to munch on? DENIED.
- refrigerated teething circle? REJECTED.
- icy cold water in a bottle? NOPE.
- mommy finger to gum? DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.
- big beefy daddy finger? NOT GOING THERE.
- frozen wash cloth? NADA.
- cloth diaper to gnaw? DON'T MESS WITH ME.
- Hyland's teething tablets? NO AND A THOUSAND TIMES NO.
- singing? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Last night Chip ended up sitting in our DRIVEWAY because it appeared that the outside air (or something? the moonlight? the position of the PLANETS? I don't even know!) helped. So he stayed out there with Bean for over an hour. I was hiding out in the living room, helplessly gathering strength in the form of a pleading phonecall to K. Her little S, who is a week older than Alice, isn't going through the TEETHING yet, so I did my best to scare her pants off. Because I'm just that kind of a friend. In exchange for my tearful warnings, K offered me the best advice possible: know that it's not going to last forever.

This bit of advice is one that I hold very dear, mostly due to the wonderful way Chip explained it to me once. Do you remember The Wonder Years? That 80's-ish TV show set in the 1960's, centering around the sweet story of KEVIN ARNOLD, the Everyman Little Kid - facing middle school with his wonderfully geeked-out best friend and his hopeless crush on his neighbor, Winnie. The main thing about the show was the fact that it was narrated by an adult Kevin - and adult looking back on his formative years with all the important hindsight and helpful lessons. So, one day Kevin somehow angers this bully kid. Maybe he was standing up for Winnie, I don't know, it doesn't matter. Kevin gets this kid really angry and they fight. Kevin does his best to put up a good defense but there's nothing for it: much sooner than you'd like, Kevin is on the ground getting beat up like mad. And as awful as it is, here's where Adult Kevin, Wise Sage Adult Kevin Narrator comes in. And he says something like this, "As terrible as it was, I realized something. Eventually the bully kid was going to get hungry and want to go home. Eventually he'd get tired and just stop. Eventually it would all be over. And I knew it."

Chip shared this insight with me a while back, and I cling to it in times like these. If anyone had told me that the initial pain of nursing would be over in 12 weeks (with the chest pain!!! and the bleeding nipples!!! and the frustration!!!) - if anyone had said, "You're going to be fine in exactly 90 days." I think I would have be totally okay with it. But seeing as how we don't have anyone with psychic abilities just floating around, waiting to tell me my future, I have to just know that nothing lasts forever.

Eventually Alice is going to cut that DARN tooth.
Eventually she is going to smile again.
Eventually she is going to laugh again.
Eventually she is going to allow me to come within 6 inches of her mouth (not wielding a feeding device).

Eventually, we're all going to get tired and want to go home. And I'll be waiting for that moment. It's going to be great.