Wednesday, January 6, 2010

whatchamacallit, part two (or let's say Number Two)

She doesn't know it yet, but Bean has her own New Year's resolution. It involves Ye Olde, as they say... Potty.

I read some stuff about it a few weeks ago and approached Chip with the following.

Whimsy: The book says we should start talking about bathroom-related junk now.
Chip: What?
Whimsy: The book. It says we should start to talk about the fact that everyone poops. Or whatever. And get Bean used to that fact. Oh, and we also need to come up with terms for things. So we use the same words for stuff.
Chip: Like?
Whimsy: The POOP. We need to decide what we're going to call it.

Which is when we got into one of the strangest discussions I've ever had. In my life. EVER. And I'm someone who has had some very strange discussions with people.

My findings from that discussion show that we are so far from being ready to potty train--- not because Bean isn't ready (I think she's getting close), but because WE, the Parents. Are not ready.

We can't agree on names for things.

Chip has a problem with using POO for the term because he likes to use it frequently as his own brand of g-rated swear word (Chip putting together the new office chair: POO!). He also nixed POOP and even my suggestion of POOPS from our options.

Whimsy will not refer to the act as defication (I don't care that it's correct. Or whatever. It just sounds awful. And by the way, under no circumstance do I want my daughter to tell her Sunday School teacher that she has to go DEFICATE.) Whimsy will not use ephamisms like tinkle, make water, or any combination thereof. Whimsy refuses to number any bathroom act with Number One, Number Two, Number Twenty or Number Ninty-Nine. Whimsy has struck CACA, DOODOO, and DO YOUR BUSINESS entirely off the Whimsy Household Vocabulary List. And while we're at it, there is also no option under heaven to have Bean ever use BM as a verb or noun. Ever.

Where does that leave us? With NOTHING. No words for the act, the carnage, or anything bathroom related.
I'm looking to you, Internets, to shed some light on this very murky matter. What do (or did) you call it? Are there any words that you just HATE? Please discuss.


Shelly Overlook said...

We call it poop and pee. Or we'll say "do you have to go potty" as a general question. We have advanced to the stage where we ask if she needs to make "peeps" or "poops".

I dislike the word turd. It just sounds brown and ugly.

Sibley Saga .... said...

I'm no help to you with this. Growing up we just used the Spanish words for that whole process. Plus, my mother is a retired biology teacher and was very 'scientifically correct' whenever possible.

So, in answer to your problem, maybe you can find the words for poop or pee in some other language that sounds soo much better?


M said...

I'm no help at all as I am cracking up laughing!

We say poop or poops. But then our substitute swear word is crap.

And I'm still laughing...too good. And this is going to yield some very interesting results on your site statistics!

stephanie said...

Poops and peeps. So good. I am no help as we've got a good long while before our bean is at this stage.

But I had to comment because poops and peeps is too too good. I love it.

Amanda said...

We use poop and pee and go potty.

Growing up my mother said "go stinky" and that term actually makes me shudder now. HATE.

Whimsy said...

Thanks to Amanda, I have now sprayed a generous portion of Special K cereal and milk on my laptop screen.

Go Stinky, indeed.

Why are the words for poo so intensely AWFUL **and** entertaining?

clueless but hopeful mama said...

Oh my, thanks for the laughs today. I needed them!

I have a friend who asks her daughters "Who made skinkies???" in a horrible sing songy voice that makes me batty.

Come to think of it, WHY is she my friend?!?!

Anyway, we call it "pee" and "poop" and I highly recommend that you use recognizable words. I know a six year old that calls poop "nana" and HOO BOY that gets confusing around grandparents.

clueless but hopeful mama said...

HAHAHAHA! My verification word was "colonopa"!?!?!


Eleanor Q. said...

So we use pee and poop but Fussbot uses kaki for poop. He knows what poop is but will not say poop. Also, he's really into people pooping (himself, me, DMS, his animals) and often brings diapers claiming a poop but is totally lying. This morning he told me that I have to poop. Now.

Swistle said...

We use "pee," "poop," "stinkers" (as in, "Are you stinkers?" for a diaper-wearing child), and "go potty."

Anonymous said...

I agree that you shouldn't use words that a teacher wouldn't understand -- you're just gonna have to go for a commonly used / recognizable words -- also, because you don't want Alice being teased and tortured by her peers because she calls going to the bathroom something like 'kakadodo'. Don't scar the child. Don't scar the child. K8

Chip said...

crap she's right. thanks K8 :)

stacie d said...

I don't care what Chip says (sorry man, love ya) you need to use POO.

For one reason only: THE POO INCIDENT

Maybe that's an entry for another day... HAHA!

Rose said...

We say pee and poop...

You could say "dookie" - lol

Since Alice loves Elmo, you could buy her the Elmo's Potty Time Video for her to watch, once you are ready to let her have a little screen time.

Alicia @ bethsix said...

We say "pee" and "poop," which also morph into "peeps" and "poops." Had no idea other people used the latter.

Growing up, my grandmother required that I use the scientific words. Ugh. No thanks. We do use the scientific words for parts, though. I don't want stories about "wing wangs" and "hoo has." Barf.

angelalois said...

just want you to know I'm really laughing out loud and if bebe wakes up from his nap it's YOUR fault.

(ps sorry I'm so behind on my blogs!)