Monday, January 4, 2010

this is what happens when you eat cake for breakfast


A couple of weeks ago I left Bean sitting in her chair eating breakfast (read: pumpkin CAKE --- I was going to say a pumpkin muffin, but let's be honest, it was clearly CAKE, despite its crumbly topping and muffin-like appearance; which makes me wonder, when does a muffin cross over into cupcake territory and when does a cupcake tumble into muffinland? Where oh where is the line betwixt them?) while I went to clean out the cat box. I was going to say "while I went outside to clean out the cat box" but then I realized that you wouldn't understand that reference, since we have indoor-only cats and why the heck is their box outside? The answer is that the cat box is in our garage because it -the box- is accessed through a little cutaway door in the wall. Cats go through door in wall to reach their bathroom facilities which is kept in its own little wooden box. Basically, the cats can get to the litter box without braving the Wilderland of Garage and we don't have to deal with their box anywhere inside the house. It's actually the feature that sold us the house. And really, I probably didn't need to go into that much detail because I fixed the initial sentence that would have sent me into this aside in the first place. Oh well.

Let's review. Bean: inside house, consuming copious amounts of pumpkin CAKE for breakfast. Whimsy: standing in the 30-degree garage hunched over the terrible remnants of a Litter Box Gone Wrong. Let's join Whimsy as she tries to shovel the first bits of Cat Nasty into a bag.

Whimsy is thinking about poo. Who wouldn't be thinking about poo at a time like this, is what Whimsy's narrator is thinking. Poo, poo, poo. Cat poo is terrible stuff, thinks Whimsy. Bet I couldn't write about that in the blog. (TOO LATE, says Whimsy's narrator.) Looking at this poo, thinks Whimsy, it seems sorta... big for a cat. Like if this were the same width ratio in human poo it would be terribly painful to... Whimsy stops herself, knowing she is going to A VERY BAD PLACE. Now Whimsy is wondering about Possible Blog Topics That Will Result in the Very Worst Google Searches. She thinks that cat poo (and particularly the size of cat poo) is up toward the top of that list. Which makes her then think about the most common Google search that links to The Creamery: Star Wars onesie. Which is closely followed by Padawan onesie. Whimsy's narrator breaks in to voice the reader's question, which is, naturally, WHY THE HECK WOULD THAT LINK TO THE CREAMERY? Whimsy's narrator answers your question with this link to a very old post. Now Whimsy is thinking about all those people who come to The Creamery looking for some serious Star Wars swag and leave horribly disappointed. Which leads Whimsy to think about that fact that she never hears from those folks, and while we're on the subject, she thinks about some of the people who visit The Creamery for other reasons who also never comment. She knows they are out there. Which leads Whimsy to wonder about Delurking Day. Hmmmm, she wonders, when is that coming up? She makes a mental note to ask someone about it. Which is when she hears Bean making a racket, wondering when Whimsy is going to come back inside and give her some more CAKE.

So Whimsy finishes her job and goes back inside to give Bean more cake. She washes her hands first.
As would you, thinks Whimsy's narrator, especially after all that poo.




6 comments:

Swistle said...

I was going to say that a muffin has fruit/vegetable matter in it whereas a cupcake does not, but then Bean's breakfast would be a muffin and so would carrot cake, and yet carrot cake is clearly cake or it wouldn't be called carrot cake.

Then I thought, Well, cupcakes have frosting, and muffins do not. But then where do we put crumble? Crumble can be a muffin topping, especially in the case of apple or blueberry muffins which practically REQUIRE it, and yet it's basically a dry form of frosting.

Perhaps it has something to do with the texture and the sweetness. My muffin recipe has twice as much vegetable/fruit (usually pumpkin) as sugar, and it has a dense, heavy texture. If it were a cupcake, I'd complain. Or maybe I wouldn't, if it had cream cheese frosting, because really it's very similar to the texture of carrot cake, now that I think of it.

Well, that's a stumper.

Amanda said...

I was going to say that the line is in the frosting but I hadn't considered crumble.

Sibley Saga .... said...

Hmm, others are happily sticking to the muffin/cake conundrum while I unfortunately have less class and was captivated by the poo topic.

As I am a mother of a 7wk old who cannot as yet enjoy muffins disguised as cake and vice versa, I'm ALWAYS dealing with poo.

Chadillac said...

Dang! No Stars Wars onesies on sale here? I'm outta here.

I'm not sure that I can add anything intelligent to the cupcake/muffin conundrum discussion that hasn't already been said. I will say that although I like most muffins I would much rather eat a cupcake!

So what the heck is Delurking Day?

KAY said...

Muffin or cupcake -- it's all good. Just keep it coming and no one gets hurt, right?

I realize that I might be part of this delurking day... When I am procrastinating, I spend hours sitting at the computer to avoid the real thing. I visit The Creamery. I read really old comments to my favorite posts. And of course, I am trying to read through the posts before we found each other on FB (I've kept current since then). Does this mess with your site statistics?

And yeah.. I'm horribly disappointed about the Star Wars onesie post. I was hoping for a tutorial.. On the other hand, now you have people thinking about deflated boobs..

Anonymous said...

this post is mis-titled - it's more about poo than it is about cake. Both fascinating topics, however. Just a thought. K8