Wednesday, March 17, 2010

at some point there was a singular thread tying these things together

Then again, maybe not.

How come the Crest Pro-Health toothpaste, the one that appears to have little suspended sparkly bits inside the toothpaste, doesn't actually LEAVE little sparkly bits on our teeth? Where do those go? Because sparkly junk is STICKY, man. I can excise a can of glitter from the house a YEAR ago and still be finding that stuff on my arm.

. . .

I wonder how long it's going to be before they introduce sparkly toothpaste that leaves little glitter bits on your teeth (read: on your 3-year-old daughter's teeth - since I have a feeling that such a thing would be geared toward the 3-year-old daughters of the world.) Why do I think this? Because everything geared toward the youngish girl set is bright fuchsia pink and dipped in a heavy platinum glitter bath before being wrapped in plastic and stuck on the shelves.

. . .

Can anyone explain the lure of the Discovery Channel's SHARK WEEK? I mean, really. Sharks are cool and all - but why are they singled-out, out of ALL THE ANIMALS IN THE ENTIRE ANIMAL KINGDOM to get an entire week of up-close-and-personal press coverage? And why do we watch it? I personally would be happy to watch a full schedule of LEMUR WEEK or OTTER MONTH or even POLAR BEAR EXTRAVAGANZA. But it would appear that sharks have the very best booking agents. Or marketing people.

. . .

Outside Arbuckle, California; passing through farmland.

Whimsy (wrinkles nose and starts making gagging noises): WHAT IS THAT AWFUL SMELL?
Chip: Probably tomatoes.
Whimsy: You mean the fertilizer that they PUT ON the tomatoes, right?
Chip: No. Just the tomatoes.
Whimsy: Dude, you must be joking. Tomatoes, no matter how much you HATE them, don't smell that bad.
Chip: They do when they fall off the trucks. You should see them - they load up these trucks with huge mounds of tomatoes and then they turn the corner, and -splat-, -splat-, -splat---- tomatoes all over, left to rot in the sun.

A few miles later...

Chip: Now do you smell that?
Whimsy: Um, not really. I think I'm just smelling that fantastic hand sanitizer wipe thing I rubbed on my hands to get rid of the putrid tomato stink.
Chip: Really?
Whimsy: Oh. Wait a minute. Yes, I do smell that. It's AWESOME. What is it?
Chip: Pears.
Whimsy: Wow. I approve of that smell.

...the fruit of deeper delving into Whimsy's trove of the unblogpublished messes

(Happy St. Patrick's Day, mah peeps!)


Swistle said...

I love the idea of a Whimsy-Approved Smell!

I totally agree: I would watch Otter Week. What is it with VICIOUS ANIMALS all the time?

Anonymous said...

My husband loves Shark Week. LOVES it. Is terrified of sharks (and now, after watching many Shark Weeks, so am I), but watches each and every year. I don't get it either.

How about cuddly baby bunnies week?

Amanda said...

Hedgehog week?

Kitten week?

Bird week?

Why can't the week change? Do they keep showing the same shows about sharks? Is there something new to learn every year? I've never thought about this but now I'm wondering.

Zebra week?

I also second cuddly bunny week!

Sara Hammond said...

I have nothing more thoughtful than this: That was a cool post.

KAY said...

I think there is an unofficial Discovery Channel Giant Squid/Killer Jellyfish week (or at least weekend).
We only get cable ONCE a week at Grandma's apartment. Every other month is seems like we're learning about Giant Squid and the deadly Irukandji jellyfish. My kids regard the featured scientists like rock stars.

(on another note, the word verification for me today is 'ptopeed.' it's by far the most interesting one i've received.)

Bethsix said...

I don't remember what blog I read recently with a post titled, "Glitter is the Herpes of Preschool," but it's totally true. You can only hope to be rid of that stuff when they go to college. Although I guess that's not how herpes works, is it? Ha!

I don't get Shark Week either. (Question: Is it Shark Week?) I mean, sharks are cool and all, but really, I don't get it. Anneke's class just did this whole unit on sea animals, and her animal was the otter. Much cuter and no less deserving of attention.

Happy St. Patrick's Day! (I totally forgot to wear green today. Peench.)