Wednesday, April 7, 2010

then and now, now and then

I look at that picture of the girl on this blog - that Whimsy person from a few years ago.

I'm not sure if I recognize her anymore when I look in the mirror.

I mean, I recognize myself: me, the person I am today.

But I don't see Whimsy-that-was, Whimsy-before-Bean, Whimsy-before-the-last-couple-of-years.

I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing.

Life etches its lines on our faces.

Over time, these lines weave a new topography.

My face tells the story of what was and what is.

That other Whimsy was a different person, and selfish in many ways (though I'm surely not a saint today, either).

And just like that old Whimsy, the Whimsy-that-is-right-now will appear to be self-centered and blind to the Whimsy-that-will-be in a few short years.

A few short years and we become new people.

At least one can hope.

The trouble that I face each day is to hold on to what is good about today while letting go of those things that I don't want to see in the mirror tomorrow.


artemisia said...

I never can get used to how thoughtful you are.

wandering nana said...
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wandering nana said...

I think I knew you when this picture was taken and you know..... I liked you then and I still like you now but better, because I have gotten to know you. I know I have been so many people... I become the person that the time in my life makes me... it helps that I have learned from my many mistakes, but I seem to still repeat a few and find more. I like that I can work on my many flaws on a daily basis.

Bethsix said...

I'm with artemisia.

I'm nowhere near the same person I was a couple years ago. And light years away from - practically a different species - the person I was nine years ago. I was 10 days away from my due date with my first baby, and I had *no CLUE* what was in store.

I was cuter. :) But also a lot less thoughtful and patient and understanding. Less WORN DOWN. My life was much less full. Not empty, but less full.

The challenge is to get Better at Living.

Sibley Saga .... said...

I'm afraid I've become a 'lurker'.

My life has gotten so busy that I take time to read your blog in the morning while scarfing breakfast, but it only gives me enough time to read-not comment. One thing about the old 'me' is that I think I was better at maintaining friendships. There's a whole bucketload of other things about the old me that I did NOT like.

But its like you said. There is ALWAYS tomorrow. : )

Erin P said...

Your points are so interesting, Whimsy...I don't spend much time looking back (too busy, I think) but when I stop and think about it, I have completely evolved over the years. Parenthood, life, challenges and overcoming them, some failures...all of these join the person we started out as and move with us, changing us. Interesting post.