Friday, April 9, 2010

there's alot going on in this post and you might not be able to keep up (I certainly didn't)

I lied when I told Chip earlier in the day,

"You know, this cold isn't so bad. It's totally doable, in fact. I'm just fine."

Maybe it wasn't that I lied, it's just that the Cold Fairy was waiting in the wings, listening to my gloating, and decided to dump an extra bit of MISERY on my soggy, self-righteous, stupid self.

Yes, I said stupid.

Because who ELSE would say that, just TEMPTING the fates to offer a New and Improved Rain of Toads to the Whimsy Misery Train?

Me. I am that stupid.

Speaking of the Fates and my stupid cold-tempting sneeze-having self: Chip and I met his sister Marissa to see Clash of the Titans a few nights ago. (This was when I was all COLD-SCHMOLD! I AM WHIMSY, HEAR ME ROAR!) It was a nostalgic sort of movie event, each of us envisioning bad claymation scorpions and awesomely terrible special effects from the original 1980's movie. The new one? ....let me just say this one word and you'll just know: thighs. The new movie? Thighs, thighs, thighs. Mostly man thighs. After the movie Chip was all, "I feel intimately familiar with Perseus' upper... thighs." And I was all, "BIG AS TREE TRUNKS, MAN. Was that really the same dude who was in Avatar? Really? Cuz he was all scrawny. And Perseus? Tree-trunk thigh-muscles." Chip merely raised his eyebrows at me and sighed. Because I am That Wife. Later, in the car as we drove home, Chip started to refer to himself as Demi-Chip in his attempt to show up the Demi-God Perseus (perhaps he was a little jealous of those thighs?).

I can tell when I've been reading a lot from this awesome blogger because my sentences get really short and I want to write really sarcastic things that would never be funny coming from me.

Also: I start to think I'm funnier than I am.

It's okay. I'm trying to keep humble.

I keep having this strange desire to shriek, "RELEASE THE KRAKEN!" And then I run my fingers through my manly Zeus beard.

The cold-that-wasn't-going-to-send-me-over-the-bend-but-did resulted in me taking this lip-lickingly good medicine.
Notice that there isn't any left in this photo. I can also give you a nice list of tips to end your diet NOW AND FOREVER MORE, which strangely enough, includes things like "get a cold and feel terrible" and "take this medicine which makes you feel fuzzy and weird ALL DAY LONG" so that you will then "decide to not exercise and instead eat a fully stocked hotel breakfast including HASH BROWNS" which leads to imagining a sign hanging over your head reading "abandon all hope, all ye who enter here" and then "eat an entire bag of homemade oatmeal cookies". Cheers!

In case you're keeping track (it's okay, I know you're not keeping track)--- we are still waking up at 4am and wanting to die. Just, you know, the usual.

I can't be held responsible for the choices I make when severely sleep-deprived. For example, from the Target $5 DVD bin:

I don't know either. It was a compulsion.

The last time I surrendered to this type of madness, I walked out of Target with a copy of The Last Unicorn (music by AMERICA). I remember just being madly in love with that movie when I was a kid. It was like a sickness, I loved that movie so much. Watching it several years later gives me insight into my psyche and I've got to tell you: I'm not pleased with what I've found. Um. This movie?'s terrible. Awful. Horrid. There is this music that just makes you want to put your head in an oven, and the animation is atrocious. It doesn't give me much hope for the cinematic masterpiece known as POPEYE, but you know what? I'm watching it ANYWAY. Me and my terribly tired eyelids.

Whimsy out.


Anonymous said...

Poor Whimsy Duh. I hope your cold soon releases you from the grips of its madness.

Jayme said...

I loved The Last Unicorn when I was little! I remember seeing it in the theater.

wandering nana said...

I loved the movie Popeye... especially Olive Oil (is that how you spell it?) Get better.

Spadoman said...

Hope you feel better soon and that the sleep fairies pass a sleeping spell over all of Creamland.
I love Popeye. I love that movie. I love Olive Oyl. (That's how I'd spell it if I were King)

Peace Whimsical One.

angelalois said...

1. I also loved the Last Unicorn and bought it on a whim the other month at Value Village, but I have yet to watch it in my adult stage. You think I'll hate it? So sad.

2. Everytime someone talks about a Kraken of the sea I think of first, Pirates of the Caribbean and then that funny scene from Juno when Ellen Page is making fun of herself. And so Krakens just can't be serious. All laughter, all the time.

peace out yo!