Friday, December 17, 2010

horrible christmas song round-up


It's that time of the year when we've been subjected to enough holiday music that we know, we just know what's good and what's bad. And when a Christmas song is bad, you know it's really bad.

Last year I did a pretty comprehensive list of horrendous Christmas songs, and I stand by that list, I do. But I think there is more to be said - namely more from you.

I want to hear your nominations for Worst Christmas Songs, include sub categories please.

My new additions to the list:

For Worst Christmas Song Involving Footwear:
Christmas Shoes - I'm not sure what can be said about this song other than it ATTEMPTS TO MAKE YOU CRY, WITH DEATH. And that's not cool. Especially for Christmas.

For Worst Semi-Decent Song Ruined by a Popular Singer:
The First Noel, as weirdly sung by Sarah Mclachlan - Listen, I really like Sarah. I do. And I have her album, which is pretty lovely, EXCEPT FOR THIS SONG. She tries to sing it all tribal and sexy and it just... doesn't work. It's The First Noel, for crying out loud. It's supposed to be this sacred song about the birth of Christ and it just goes strangely awry from the first few thrummy drum beats. I skip it every time because it goes beyond anything listenable and needles directly to CREEPY. If you've heard it, you know exactly what I mean.

Speaking of Songs Ruined by Popular Singers:
- Burl Ives. The dude can do one song, and one song only, and that's Have a Holly Jolly Christmas. Anything else he sings sounds campy and strange.
- Santa Claus is Coming to Town as sung by Bruce Springsteen. It's not necessarily a Christmas Pulitzer Prize Winner or anything, but still: a solid song. However, when Bruce Springsteen starts to strangely belt it out, all downtown and throaty, it's dumb and annoying. I don't listen to it.
- Anything Christmas-y as sung by Jewel. Because, according to Chip, Jewel ruins everything.

Your turn.


Shelly Overlook said...

I have to agree that Jewel ruins everything, but I do love Bruce Springsteen singing Santa Claus is Coming to Town.

I hate "Santa Baby". It's just a stupid, stupid song.

Pickles and Dimes said...

Oh, no! I LOVE Bruce's Santa Claus is Coming to Town. It's one of my favorites (really).

I cannot stand Feliz Navidad or any Christmas song sung by Gloria Estefan. I'm really a traditionalist when it comes to Christmas mustic, so if someone tries to "reinvent" the song, I'll resent them for it.

bzzzzgrrrl said...

OMGYES Christmas Shoes. Ugh.

My sister and I used to have a game (and when I say "used to," I mean in high school and college, not when we were six) in which we'd sing the entire tune of a Christmas song using only the words of the first line. And while "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer/Rudolph the Rednosed ReinDEER" has a certain hilarity, for my money, the Bestworst Christmas Song Ever Sung by Bored Adolescent Siblings is "You better watch out/ You better watch out/ You better watch out/ You better watch out..."

Also, for Most Irritatingly Unrealistic Christmas Song, I choose "Away in a Manger." Yes, it beats out every song about flying reindeer and strangers who buy each other shoes for their dying mothers and Africans who don't know about Christmas, because seriously? "The little Lord Jesus, no crying he makes"? I don't buy it. All babies cry. And should.

Chadillac said...

Three words: Mariah Carey. Gag.

angelalois said...

I've got a FB friend who's been posting lots about this the last few days. Her worst song peeves are the version of Baby, It's Cold Outside with weird combos, like Norah Jones and Willie Nelson. Hello, young and cute with old and grungy? Exactly. A bit disturbing.

bzzzzgrrrl said...

I still love this post, and its predecessor. Just felt worth acknowledging.