because i LOVE a good graph

My shirt has a sizable oatmeal stain on it. I am not going to change my shirt until after Alice wakes up from her nap, and after I have fed her her cereal. In the time we've been doing the whole cereal routine, I've learned a couple of valuable lessons. The first one being, whatever is clean prior to the Cereal Endeavor, will be dirty afterwards. And whatever is dirty prior to the Cereal Endeavor, will be even dirtier. See! Look at how I've GROWN!

My oatmeal-stained shirt goes hand in hand with my new understanding of Life with Baby - and more specifically, Doing Things in Life with Baby. I have even drawn you a helpful diagram:


Anything we do with baby falls somewhere on this line. Things like giving Alice kisses and tickling her toes easily fall on the left side of the graph - smack dab in the green zone of everyday doings. Some things (like the kisses or the toe tickling) are easy easy EASY from the start. Other things, like nursing or baths or getting her dressed begin at the more difficult end of the graph - maybe not in the RED ZONE exactly, but closer to it (because the closer you get to IMPOSSIBLE, the harder things become). But like the nursing or baths or getting Alice dressed - some things get easier, the more you do them.

Like this:
Then there are some things (like, say, putting Alice on the floor and expecting her to entertain herself for an hour) that are near IMPOSSIBLE - and being the relatively smart person that I am, I wouldn't dream of trying them. I also have to add that Bogey Sucking is in the RED ZONE OF INSANITY, but I do it anyway. Because it's the right thing to do.

The biggest challenge in Life with Baby is figuring out where something lies on the graph. And it's even better when I can ascertain where something is going to be before I do it - because it makes my expectations of the outcome that much easier. If I know something is in the RED ZONE before I try it, I can hunker down and just kind of expect the screaming - no harm, no foul. If the Thing I'm Trying continues to live in the RED ZONE I might decide that it's simply not worth my while and nix it from Life with Baby altogether. And yet, as I mentioned, sometimes things do get easier...

So that's where I'm at with the whole Working Out of My Boss' House with Alice in Tow. As gut wrenchingly AWFUL as it was a week ago, I'm hoping it gets easier. I'm hoping hoping hoping that, in time, it might eek down the graph just a tad - maybe even fall outside the RED ZONE. We had another office day on Thursday (the day I published this post about the last Thursday) - and it wasn't as bad. It wasn't peachy-keen perfect, mind you, and there was still crying at inconvenient times and much much much SWEATING (on my part) - but it was actually easier. My boss continues to be a really great guy, and does want us to come back again this week. I've just got to give thanks for the small miracles of toys that Alice LOVES and a soft blankie and also the Pack and Play (which I brought with me on Thursday). (Message from Whimsy: when in doubt, bring more STUFF.)

I think that one of the hardest things (and also the most entertaining- go figure) of Life with Baby is that Chip and I continue to sort of throw new experiences at the graph and try to see where they're going to stick.

Let's work out of boss' house! (SPLAT in RED ZONE OF INSANITY)

Let's try to go to FOUR places instead of our usual limit of THREE when we run errands today! (SPLAT in RED ZONE OF INSANITY)

Our newest endeavor that has me TERRIFIED is a road trip (gulp gulp GULP) down to ---- SAN FRANCISCO. Oh the humanity. We leave on Thursday night. I'll just let you know that I've already decided that the road trip heavily resides in the RED ZONE and I am unsure how far it will move the needle IF ANY.

Oh boy.