This is totally what I'd be saying:
The 35-minute evening nap is KILLING ME. There should be some kind of baby LAW that requires sleep in hour-long increments.
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Chip during the Olympic closing ceremonies: WOW - IT'S LIKE A PAULA ABDUL VIDEO.
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Is there anything more delicious than Alice kisses?
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Stupid graph. Why did I have to try to make a GRAPH?
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Why is a three location errand outing successful, but FOUR LOCATIONS just pushes Alice beyond her limit? Does she have something against the bank?
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Maple and brown sugar oatmeal is saving my LIFE.
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Welcome to Monday.
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