the laws of cream: #2 Something About Orange Juice

If you're just tuning in now, read the introduction and the first law - it'll make a lot more sense.


2. Something About Orange Juice

Orange Juice is lovely, but it is NOT CREAMY. There are a lot of perfectly wonderful people in the world who are not creamy. They don't have an ounce of dairy in them. They are orange juice. They might even appear to be creamy, but in actuality they are CALCIUM-ENRICHED ORANGE JUICE. Maybe even with some extra pulp. But do I need to say this again? THEY ARE NOT CREAMY. Most of these orange juicers don't know about cream. They don't care about cream. They don't even want to BE cream (hard to believe, I know). Remember, some people in this world are cursed to be lactose intolerant. And while we may not understand their aversion to us, we must soldier on. Minions, let them live their cream-less lives. Do not fret over it. But if, say, some unnamed boy finds himself ATTRACTED TO ORANGE JUICE, see Law #1: Cream Knows Cream, and don't worry about it. Move on.


Tune in tomorrow for Law #3: Unmixy Things