Monday, June 29, 2009

a descent into randomania

As I'm writing this, Chip and I are watching a DVR'ed episode of Man Vs. Wild with Bear Grylls. If you haven't ever seen it... you really should. This particular episode is one where Will Ferrell (!) goes out with Grylls on a survival mission in a remote part of Sweden or Norway. Or something. We saw an interview with Will Ferrell where he referred to this trip. He said that he sort of drove Grylls crazy. He used the term "annoyed the crap out of him", actually. Will Ferrell kept asking Bear when he'd be forced to drink his own urine. (And I know, I know - this is totally a publicity stunt and blah blah blah true reality versus bending reality for the cameras, etc. etc., I KNOW - sometimes I'm okay with that, for the entertainment.)

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We've got leftover reindeer head for breakfast. It's well and truly cooked by now. -Man Versus Wild

I finally got the ad up last week to sell our washer and dryer on Craigslist, and I've been taking calls about it for the last few days. It never fails, but as soon as I get off the phone with a potential buyer, Chip asks me questions that I never consider to ask. Every time.

Some snippets from last night:

Whimsy: He says that his washer just died yesterday.
Chip: Washer AND dryer?
Whimsy: I don't know. I didn't ask.

Chip: When does he get off work?
Whimsy: 4pm.
Chip: Where does he work?
Whimsy: I don't know. I didn't ask.

Clearly, I'm really cut out for this.

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Should I take the reindeer head with us? -Man Versus Wild

There's an ill-advised ice cream truck that patrols our neighborhood. Along with Pop Goes the Weasel, the truck blasts the following summer show-stopper sure to get every kids' attention in Ice Cream Truck Tinkly Music: What Child is This. Not kidding. On Saturday the ice cream truck dude decided to branch out and added Joy to the World to his loud speaker repertoire. I don't know if he just has no context of understanding the proper time to play a Christmas tune OR if he goes shopping for Ice Cream Truck Songs at the bargain basement and they sell Christmas jingles in June for a STEAL.

Which reminds me of The Little Brother's preoccupation with a certain Winston-created tape of Christmas music (that was played every Holiday season for my entire childhood - think peppy 1960's organ music spliced with that Gomer Pile dude singing Christmas music spliced with Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby). Once TLB figured out how to play the tape (which was, actually, a reel-to-reel old time large spooling tape system housed inside a stereo that spanned the length of our living room wall). Picture that spooly round tape thing in every room-sized computer from 1960 and you will be picturing our very fashion-forward tape thing. So anyway. TLB, he figures out how to play things on the stereo and proceeds to blast The Whimsy Family Christmas Mix Album. Every day. In the middle of the VERY HOT summer. Ask Stacie. She'll tell you all about the afternoons spent sitting on my front porch listening to Bing Crosby sing White Christmas.

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I wonder how eagle cornea tastes. We'll have to leave that for next time, I guess. -Man Versus Wild

Let's talk PERNICIOUS BLOGGING DROUGHT. I'm going to post three new things to read this coming Friday, July 3rd. Now you have four days to prepare. If you want to participate, email me (whimsyattack AT gmail DOT com) by end of day Thursday and I'll make sure to link to you on Friday's post.

Spadoman was curious about the word PERNICIOUS. That word always makes me laugh, which is why I used it. It reminds me of Roald Dahl's vermicious knids in his book Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator.

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Paging Mary Stewart Johnson*

There's this lady who keeps showing up on Chip's Facebook page as a friend suggestion. She looks like she walked out of the pages of Better Homes and Gardens magazine. In 1962. Including the bouffant hairdo. Chip has no friends in common with her. At all. At yet there she is, time and again, smiling out at him. He is starting to think that he should just request her, for the fun of it.

*Not her real name

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I wonder how eagle cornea tastes. We'll have to leave that for next time, I guess. -Man Versus Wild

True story: I once tried to potty train a cat.

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It's not Man Versus Wild, it's Man Versus Bowels.
-Man Versus Wild

Chip: Do you think Bear Grylls is good looking?
Whimsy: Um.
Chip: You think Bear Grylls is good looking.
Whimsy: I think you're better looking than him. But...
Chip: But you think Bear Grylls is good looking.
Whimsy: It's not that, exactly.
Chip: Oh. You like it when he's naked.
Whimsy: What?! No, it's not that exactly.
Chip: You like it when he's naked.
Whimsy: No... but, well, he has a really nice body.
Whimsy: Yes. I like it when he's naked.

* Disclaimer: It's a show on the DISCOVERY CHANNEL, for goodness sake. It's extremely EDUCATIONAL. There is no, um, visible nudity. But Bear Grylls... he seems to find times when he falls through the ice into icy water. Or into raging rapids. Or somehow seems to be naked. At times. In the wild. And it's... well whatever. We'll talk after you've seen the show.

** Edited to add: Blogger is adding on the HATE this morning and won't let me fix the double-posted quote. I've tried. I've failed. Several times. Ugh.


Spadoman said...

The ice cream man was obviously stoned on some really good pot! (I hear you have good stuff up there from BC). I want to be an ice cream truck guy next time around. Not to be stoned, but to eat ice cream. Ohm that's right, I do eat a lot of it now.

I will not look up that word, and I see you're teasing the hell out of me by mentioning that I am a dunce and not telling me what it means! Then you add those other words, "vermicious knids". I won't look those up either! I won't do it!

Peace anyway.

Chelle said...

As avid Man vs Wild viewers, The episode was a favorite for us. We had been waiting for it to air for weeks - and it was well worth the wait (even though the Hollywood/ promotional aspect of it was a bit icky). Favorite part was as they were descending down from the helicopter and WF was screaming for his mommy; thought I'd pee my pants I was laughing so hard.

And, yeah, while I love & adore my sweet husband, Bear Grylls is unquestionably hot. Especially when falling into icy water.

The End.

Chip said...

Bear Grylls you are my new Jedi Master.

stacie d said...

Before I even saw that you mentioned our experience with Summertime Christmas Music, I was thinking about it when I read about the ice cream truck. Then I kept reading. HAHA!!! Fun times.

My friend has her children convinced that a nice man drives around playing music for the neighborhood in his Music Truck! So...Rather than run out for a treat, her kids run outside to dance on the front lawn! She's going with this until they figure out he also has ice cream on the Music Truck. :)

Anonymous said...

Bear Grylls is utterly delightful. Especially when he's naked, which he so often is. Not so much when he's eating squirty bug larvae, but I can overlook that as long as he doesn't have bug bits stuck in his teeth.

wandering nana said...

I want to be added to your list for July 3rd. I have been so behind on blogs. I loved this one and I'm sorry Alice is suffering with teeth again. Do you remember when your wisdom teeth came in? I do.... Poor baby Alice.

MzEll said...

This was hilarious. We have to start watching this show...