Monday, October 15, 2007
a case of the mondays
As calm discussion seems to be out of the question, I'm trying a different tactic. Clearly, I don't understand you, Monday. Why are you so mean? Why do you consistently greet me with dull gray sky, with rain, with horrid traffic, with people who refuse to see reason? Your peers Wednesday and Thursday seem to be unaffected by the items you experience. They are (as you), just another day in the work-week. They start much earlier then they’d like. They are full of Commuters. And yet Wednesday and Thursday are still quite pleasant. They occasionally gift me with sun. They don’t rile the people up to intolerable levels of nastiness.
Why, Monday, why? What did I do to warrant this treatment? I have always tried to be as kind to you as possible. I've never been one to use that dreaded phrase you hate so much: A Case of the, uh, YOUS. (And I know you hate it when people mispronounce your name, and call you Mun-dee, which I never do.) I have always tried to help people think about the joy that you can bring: the first day back at work! A brand new week to experience exciting things! A place to start over, if that's necessary! A new episode of Heroes! Monday's can be great!
But today you went too far. You have pushed me past my tolerance, Monday, and I'm letting you know that you're on notice. If you don't shape up and get with the other perfectly delightful days of the week, I'm going to boot you altogether. Don't think I can, Monday? Think that's a feat beyond me? Oh, Monday, don't push me. Don't mistake my kindness for weakness. I think Tuesday is enterprising enough to recognize an opportunity, and if you don't cool your jets, you're going to find out that Tuesday might just be interested in an expansion day.