Thursday, October 18, 2007

dealing with it

My in-laws might have been a wee bit horrified the other night at dinner, when I was relating Winston’s Current State of Health – and I started to laugh. In my defense, I was telling them about my plan to Photoshop some Groucho Marx eyebrows onto my dad’s photo for Christmas. Chip put his hand on my knee as I giggled uncontrollably, and said, “She’s handling this a little differently.”

I didn't realize that I’d been handling this “a little differently”. But with some reflection, I suppose he’s right. These days, I’m equally drawn to tears and laughter (and ham – I’m drawn to ham sandwiches right now, and I don’t even like ham). As with the ham-fixation, I blame the pregnancy. I know that getting all with child and stuff wreaks merry havoc with your hormones. Those hormones, of course, then wreak merry havoc on the rest of you: your muscles, your joints, your complexion, your appetite, your hair, your skin, your nails, your gums, your eyesight, your GI tract, your memory, and yes: your emotions. Knowing this, of course, and actually dealing with it are two different things. To which my current confused state can attest.

When I talked to Mom & Dad on the phone Tuesday night, I held it together – tried to be funny, tried to be positive, tried to be UP. I succeeded in being more UP than is really, well, normal and I’m sure my mom was a tad confused by her manic daughter. And then Winston talked about radiation therapy and when that was going to start – and Manic Whimsy became Crying Whimsy – just like that. It’s nothing new, I’m sure. Those of you who have dealt with a parent’s illness can tell me a thousand stories of the weird stuff you did in order to Deal. And those of you who have dealt with pregnancy can also tell me a thousand stories of the hilarious hijinks of Pregnant You.

In the end, because this is all new to me, I’m really trying to Deal with Dealing. How to be strong and supportive while also being sensitive enough to feel through the tender moments. It isn’t easy geography – the tightrope, the emotions, the crowd of people, the familial relationships.

For today’s Thank-a-lot-Thursday post I’m officially going on record to be thankful for the dumb things that Chip & I navigate. They might be dumb, but they're our very own.

I'm also grateful for clip art eyebrows (did you know they have PAGES and PAGES of them???).

Tomorrow's post is probably going to be something along the one-word variety, and I can tell you it will either be a word beginning with the letter B or a word beginning with the letter G. Oh, and there might be an actual belly photo of my very own. AREN'T YOU EXCITED?

1 comment:

stacie d said...

however you deal is perfect. no expectations, no parameters, no judging. whatever works for you is just perfect!

my dad has had skin cancers removed for as long as i can remember (literally hundreds of them, but none as serious as your daddy's) and because of that i don't feel like skin cancer is cancer...i mean, i know it is, but it's something that has always been around & so treatable. it wasn't until i had a couple biopsies on my own moles that i was like, "wait. this is CANCER!"

my thoughts are with your family. xo