Wednesday, October 10, 2007

the hopeful refresh

(I am a little peeved, my friends, because I had the whole two-fold post going, and the second half -which you do not see here- was this little photo essay about FREZENTS/presents for The Bean, and the cat's reactions to said FREZENTS but I am an Internet dummy and cannot make The Internet Universe bend to my Will and post the pictures in the correct places throughout the entry. They all get just dumped at the top, which is stupid and also very unhelpful. I blame it on the lack of Mango Madness Snapple*. So you're only getting part one of my original post. Aren't you sad.)

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I have some, uh, OCD tendencies. Okay, let’s be honest: I’m totally neurotic. At the tender age of 10, I remember telling dear friend Stacie that I had to have things EVEN – like if I stepped on a sidewalk crack with my left foot 4 times, I needed to do it with my right foot 4 times – and they needed to be in alternating order and and and … I’ll never forget, with dawning realization, that she was SMILING and IT WAS EXACTLY THE SAME FOR HER. (Hello Stacie! Sorry, I just outted you as a weirdo.) I knew then that I truly had a freakish friend for LIFE. And we’re still freakish friends. In high school she shared her findings from the Psychology class that she was taking, that, in fact, this behavior was known as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and it was actually pretty normal for a kid.

Fortunately, my neuroses are all pretty quietly contained now, out of the general public’s watchful eye. And it’s not like I’m in need of much medication or anything (ha ha ha)… but uh, I have this thing with the REFRESH button. Do you do this?

I can’t stand it when I’ve sent an email and I know I should be hearing back from the person I’m stalking – I mean, the person with whom I’m corresponding. So I’ll sit, staring at hotmail, willing the page with my laser beam eyes to present a new message to me. And then I REFRESH. Over and over and over again.

Send message.
Wait a beat.
Stare at screen.
Refresh.
Nothing.
Refresh, refresh.
Nothing.
REFRESH.
REFRESH.
REFRESH.
For the love of EVERYTHING I HOLD DEAR - WILL YOU NOT GIVE A REPLY?!?!?!?!
REFRESHREFRESHREFRESHREFRESHREFRESH.

And then I go to a blog or website in the hope that I'll get my mind off of the blasted email.
And I read for 2 minutes.

Return to email.
NOTHING? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? NOTHING NEW?
I WROTE 10 MINUTES AGO!
HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO REPLY?
REFRESH
REFRESH
REFRESH

And then I usually have to pee, so I get up and leave the room and try not to think about email.

Can we all guess what I've been doing today?

*Also - please send your good vibes my way today, because I MAY DIE FROM LACK OF SNAPPLE MANGO MADNESS 10% "JUICE" (now with more "juice" - ha ha I crack myself UP). I took the last one in the cafeteria refrigerator yesterday, thinking stupidly that they'd restock, just for me. They did restock. Everything else. I held up the line for a while, rooting around inside the 'fridge, hoping I'd find one last Mango Madness. I had to take a Pomegranate Raspberry instead. It is not the same, people!)

5 comments:

tearese said...

I haven't read the rest of your post yet..but I know on my blog, it dumps the pics at the top, and then you have to click on them and drag them down to where you want them. Then get rid of the extra space at the top.
YOu probably already know that, and had a different problem, but take it for what its worth.

tearese said...

ps, I love your new picture.

stacie d said...

oh. my. goodness. I DO THE SAME THING WITH MY EMAIL! i know it shouldn't come as a shocker to you since our freakish OCD habits have mirrored each other all through our lives. i have most of my "problems" under control now, too...at least that's what i convey to the public.

i vividly remember one time at a dept store with your mom and we were walking through clothing racks & both had to go back to walk through again to even out everything we touched with one side the first time through.

Whimsy said...

Tearese - thanks for the tip. I am an Internet DUMMY, so I didn't know I could drag. DUH. Thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt, though now I'm sure I have sorely disappointed you.

Stacie - Dude, you're the BEST.

padua said...

*sigh* i'm one of the gals who is currently slacking on sending out emails. i'm on my way. no worries...