name bonanza

(Updated: So I wasn't kidding when I said I was an internet dummy. I've fixed Stacie's link. You can now vote to help her name her fish.)

Hello my fellow Creamies. I have a challenge for y’all: go on over and Help Stacie Name Her Fish. This is Beta Version 3.0 – the replacement Beta fish after Version 1.0 and 2.0 regretfully expired. I’m personally voting for Scarlet, because I think the name is adorable, but can’t imagine Chip agreeing to such a thing for our child. Next best thing to naming a human baby is, of course, naming a fish.

(Note about this post: All names have been changed in my best attempt to avoid offending anyone who happens to LOVE the names that I would be mocking. The only names I didn’t change were the ones that I came up with when I was 12. Because there’s no excuse for that madness inflicted on a wee little baby.)

Now that we know about the girly-girl swimming around in my belly, we are faced with Name Bonanza 2007 – Northwest Division. I’ve had several versions of the official Whimsy Name List for Future Offspring. There was the 12-year-old version, where I went through an unfortunate phase involving many, many extraneous letters to complicate names such as Khirstine and Maureene Lynne and Ariabella. (These are the only three I can remember – but if I could find the official list? You’d be laughing your fannies off right now.) In the few years prior to meeting Chip I had another list going (I know! I was no longer a silly 12-year-old! I was now a silly 27-something-year-old!). Of course, once you get married, you’re faced with the –GASP!- reality of actually agreeing to a name. I’m totally convinced that this whole naming endeavor isn’t really so much finding the perfect name, it’s more along the lines of coming up with the solitary common denominator name that is least offensive to both parties. I’m glad that Chip and I discussed the Name Issue in our free time in those early months/YEARS of marriage, because otherwise this girl wouldn’t have a proper name until she reaches 3. We finally had settled into Our Favorite Girl Name about a year ago. And then, 2 weeks ago, we went to dinner. And I mentioned names. Suddenly, all bets were off, no holds were barred (what?), and I found myself in an actual conversation discussing new names like Conception and Fredericka and Demsella. Because Chip wasn’t so sure anymore. And maybe we should think of some alternatives? My answer to Conception and Fredericka and Demsella? JUST NO. A THOUSAND YEARS OF NO.

I have some very strong opinions involving names. Who doesn’t, right? What is one person’s favorite name in the WORLD (Gorgonzola), is another person’s YUCK (What are you thinking? That’s a CHEESE.). The first question people ask, after whether The Bean is a girl or a boy, is of course: Have you thought of a name yet? Yes, we have thought of names, but at this point at least, we aren’t telling anyone which names are on the shortlist. I’m curious what you guys think. Come on, here’s your chance to give me all the uninvited advice a person could want in a lifetime.

- If you don't have kids: Do you have The List of names? If so, do you talk to people about it? Do you share what's on The List? If not, why?

- If you do have kids, or are on the verge of them: Did you have names picked out beforehand? Did you talk to people about The List? What was the outcome? If you didn't talk to people about The List, how did you handle the awkward yes-we-have-names-but-no-we're-not-sharing-The-List-with-you-nothing-personal-ha-ha conversation?

As a way of dealing with the questions this weekend surrounding The Names, we came up with the most outlandish and weird ones we could think of, and listed those as possibilities. Some of my favorites are listed above (I apologize if you or anyone you know is named Demsella – because what the HECK were the parents THINKING?). At one point, Chip told his older sister that we were thinking of Faylene. Being the very nice people that they are, SIL & her husband totally jumped on the bandwagon – THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT NAME! SO PRETTY! WHERE DID YOU COME UP WITH IT? Umm, from Bambi. And no, my future daughter will NOT BE CALLED FAYLENE.

Okay, you have your marching orders! I want to hear from you!