Monday, October 22, 2007

name bonanza

(Updated: So I wasn't kidding when I said I was an internet dummy. I've fixed Stacie's link. You can now vote to help her name her fish.)

Hello my fellow Creamies. I have a challenge for y’all: go on over and Help Stacie Name Her Fish. This is Beta Version 3.0 – the replacement Beta fish after Version 1.0 and 2.0 regretfully expired. I’m personally voting for Scarlet, because I think the name is adorable, but can’t imagine Chip agreeing to such a thing for our child. Next best thing to naming a human baby is, of course, naming a fish.

(Note about this post: All names have been changed in my best attempt to avoid offending anyone who happens to LOVE the names that I would be mocking. The only names I didn’t change were the ones that I came up with when I was 12. Because there’s no excuse for that madness inflicted on a wee little baby.)

Now that we know about the girly-girl swimming around in my belly, we are faced with Name Bonanza 2007 – Northwest Division. I’ve had several versions of the official Whimsy Name List for Future Offspring. There was the 12-year-old version, where I went through an unfortunate phase involving many, many extraneous letters to complicate names such as Khirstine and Maureene Lynne and Ariabella. (These are the only three I can remember – but if I could find the official list? You’d be laughing your fannies off right now.) In the few years prior to meeting Chip I had another list going (I know! I was no longer a silly 12-year-old! I was now a silly 27-something-year-old!). Of course, once you get married, you’re faced with the –GASP!- reality of actually agreeing to a name. I’m totally convinced that this whole naming endeavor isn’t really so much finding the perfect name, it’s more along the lines of coming up with the solitary common denominator name that is least offensive to both parties. I’m glad that Chip and I discussed the Name Issue in our free time in those early months/YEARS of marriage, because otherwise this girl wouldn’t have a proper name until she reaches 3. We finally had settled into Our Favorite Girl Name about a year ago. And then, 2 weeks ago, we went to dinner. And I mentioned names. Suddenly, all bets were off, no holds were barred (what?), and I found myself in an actual conversation discussing new names like Conception and Fredericka and Demsella. Because Chip wasn’t so sure anymore. And maybe we should think of some alternatives? My answer to Conception and Fredericka and Demsella? JUST NO. A THOUSAND YEARS OF NO.

I have some very strong opinions involving names. Who doesn’t, right? What is one person’s favorite name in the WORLD (Gorgonzola), is another person’s YUCK (What are you thinking? That’s a CHEESE.). The first question people ask, after whether The Bean is a girl or a boy, is of course: Have you thought of a name yet? Yes, we have thought of names, but at this point at least, we aren’t telling anyone which names are on the shortlist. I’m curious what you guys think. Come on, here’s your chance to give me all the uninvited advice a person could want in a lifetime.

- If you don't have kids: Do you have The List of names? If so, do you talk to people about it? Do you share what's on The List? If not, why?

- If you do have kids, or are on the verge of them: Did you have names picked out beforehand? Did you talk to people about The List? What was the outcome? If you didn't talk to people about The List, how did you handle the awkward yes-we-have-names-but-no-we're-not-sharing-The-List-with-you-nothing-personal-ha-ha conversation?

As a way of dealing with the questions this weekend surrounding The Names, we came up with the most outlandish and weird ones we could think of, and listed those as possibilities. Some of my favorites are listed above (I apologize if you or anyone you know is named Demsella – because what the HECK were the parents THINKING?). At one point, Chip told his older sister that we were thinking of Faylene. Being the very nice people that they are, SIL & her husband totally jumped on the bandwagon – THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT NAME! SO PRETTY! WHERE DID YOU COME UP WITH IT? Umm, from Bambi. And no, my future daughter will NOT BE CALLED FAYLENE.

Okay, you have your marching orders! I want to hear from you!

9 comments:

tearese said...

um.... I put my comment on the wrong post, so look on the previous one!

The Wife said...

Okay, I am officially laughing my FANNY off! This is too too funny! Faylene! GAH!! and HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The Husband and I have a list of rules for naming children as I'm sure you're aware...and I've also already told you my name-games that I fully plan to play on my surrounding public at some point in the future (aka when my ovaries decide to get off their lazy FANNIES and do something!) I love the Most Extreme Elimination Challenge type of sport where you think of the most heinous names for children and proffer them as serious consideration and wait to see who cracks first--but this requires a Vegas worthy poker face...I have full faith in your abilities my friend.

Here are my suggestions for shockers--mountains...seriously, talk about Ranier, Shasta, McKinley or oceans would be even better, "this is our daughter, Pacifica." Catholic saints are great too--especially the obscure ones. Or animals...I have a lovely friend, Swan who fully admits her folks are hippies.

The serious name that gets my vote? Alice, of course. You must have a little Alice, and someday she will travel down her own rabbit hole in order to find out who she is. And you will teach her all about Cream and how important it is to nourish our souls.

The husband and I can't agree on any names...mostly because his RULES I find too ridiculous to take seriously, so I joke about it. I recently switched from feeling obligated to use family names to being a devotee of names from literature--provided it's good literature--because we're the ones who are going to have to say that name A LOT. Not our family members. So whatever you do...make sure you love it enough to say it. A Lot!

stacie d said...

thanks for enlisting help in naming my fish (but the link didn't work, oopsie)! maybe if you decide to share names, you can also put a poll on your blog and let US decide! ya!

i gave up on planning names for my future children. i'm still planning my future wedding. and my future engagement. oh yes and most importantly, getting a boyfriend.

however! i think you should name your daughter carina so she can grow up and marry a man named berkeley! haha!

Tessie said...

I HAVE A LIST. We are challenged because of the Hispanic last name thing, which bums me out a little.

More guidance is needed here, do you like old fashioned names? Long names/short names? Names from a certain ethnic group? Anything out for sure?

Whimsy said...

Stacie D - I fixed the link. Sorry about the goof up, my bad. I will only name The Bean "Carina" if we can hold her wedding in your backyard. And you & I wear knee socks.

Tessie - Ahhh, yes, here are the parameters. We too, have a Latino last name, so no names can be used that are too ethnic-y. Even though I am of Irish/Scottish descent, we won't be using anything like Ailish or MacKenzie. So you & your husband have THE LIST, right? Did you tell people about it? Did you share your top contenders?

Tessie said...

Well, *I* have a list. As far as I'm concerned, BR can pick from that. He can name the ones that he carries and births.

We did/will share our list, mostly because I am not really a person who is concerned with a "common" name or what someone else thinks about the name. Also, we don't have any really wacky choices, so not much opportunity for judgement.

Just for you, here are my top contenders for a girl:
Elena
Greta
Audrey
Elise
Jillian
Elsa
Alice
Evelyn

So, you are a Fake Hispanic too, eh? THIS IS AWESOME.

tearese said...

We have an Elora, and our neighbors have Ellie, Alyiah, and Elliah. So I'd nix the E names...even though I love them, they're becoming very popular. I know a baby named Jillian, I had a friend named Greta in highschool, our neighbor's baby is Audra (very pretty name.) Alice is nice, but it makes me think of the Brady Bunch.
I liked looking at Baby websites to see the top ten, just so I know if a name is super popular, like Ava or Ellie.
For boys, we were suprised to find that traditional names are becoming much less common than you would think. And the names Evan and Aiden are surprisingly popular.

Heidi said...

This was THE hardest part of having our son. We couldn't agree on a name for pretty much the whole pregnancy. (I have a list of names for girls, but not boys).

Finally, the week before he was born, we finally sat down with the internet and my husband started reading names outloud from lists online. I liked masculine names that started with the "K", "G" and "D" sounds. So, my husband read those lists until we found the one we liked. (It was amazing, the moment he read it we looked at each other and just KNEW that was it).

My only thing with names was I got frustrated that girls can be called boy's names, but boys can't be called girl's names. (Though I didn't care much until I was having a boy). One of my criteria was trying to find a name that was ONLY for boys that hadn't become bi-genderized. Very difficult these days. (I thought I had succeeded until a few weeks after he was born a lady told me her friend in California named her daughter it. Sigh).

A family I know uses cities for names: Phoenix, Sydney, Cortez, etc.

I like feminine, heroine sounding names like Olivia and Julia. But I hear those are getting popular now.

Another family I know uses older sounding names: Emma, Eliza, Sophia, Leah, etc.

Hmm, can I make this comment any longer?...

Oh yeah, and I told a few people some names we were considering early in the pregnancy. But it made me uncomfortable, so I started answering vaguely ("We're not sure," or "We have a few we're considering") until we'd decided. But even then it was weird telling. People were understanding, though, so if you didn't want to tell, they'd probably be cool about it.

Swistle said...

Like you, I have been making name lists since before my first period. None of my kids are named a name from my pre-pregnancy lists.

Paul doesn't care as much as I do about names, so he doesn't like to talk about it. What we basically do is I pore over every baby name book in the world for ten years each, then I make a list of about a dozen names I like. He goes through the list and says, "Meh, no, forget it, meh, meh, no, meh, no, ick, no, ug, maybe."

I talked a LITTLE BIT to SOME PEOPLE (it varied from pregnancy to pregnancy) about names--but not much because I don't want feedback unless I specifically ask for it, and I PARTICULARLY don't want feedback such as, "Ug, that's kind of a girly name" or whatevs. Once the name was chosen, I told no one.

I tried "We haven't decided yet" but that doesn't work--people think you're a big idiot who can't even name a baby. So I say, "We're keeping it a surprise," but then people are expecting an amazing name like Apple. It's not a perfect system.

I think it's a good idea to come up with a naming..."path," I guess. Like, decide are you going to go with long-standing names (Elizabeth, Margaret) or with recent developments (Madison, Kadence), or with 100-year-cycle names (Violet, Emma), or with androgynous names (Cameron, Casey), or WHAT. Because once you name a girl Arameliadella, it's hard to name the next one Pike.