Friday, December 28, 2007

request for advice

So I know that about 99% of you are Away right now, but I'm going to ask anyway. You can get back to me, oh, sometime next year if you'd like. (Does that New Year's joke EVER get old? Yes, yes it does.)

Today's golden question:
--If you have/had children, what is one of the best pieces of advice you received - both before you had the baby, and after.
--If you don't have/are about to have children, what is one of the best pieces of advice you've heard or witnessed?

I don't care if it's practical or weird or totally serious or absolutely goofy. Come on, share!


Tessie said...

My favorite UNSOLICTED COMMENT that I got before AD was born was in regards to labor, but I like to think it applies to most everything:

"It hurts, but you can totally handle it".

I just thought that was a nice thing to say since it is truthful, yet encouraging.

As for advice, I like what Moxie (from Ask Moxie) says, which is that YOU are the best parent for your child.

What I really want to hear is about the most BULLSHIT advice everyone has gotten.

Such as, for example, "Sleep when the baby sleeps". BULLSHIT.

Whimsy said...

Oh - I LIKE the idea for the bad advice, too. Let's here it for both!

Because I've yet to actually, you know, HAVE A KID, I didn't know that the advice for sleeping when they sleep is bad. Is it totally unworkable? Impossible? I have a sneaking sense that my desire for CLEAN LAUNDRY is going to kick in just as the Bean is closing her little eyes for a 20 minute nap. Hmmm.

stacie d said...

I haven't had a child nor will be having one any time soon, but I do have nieces! I remember when Emily was first born and I was so concerned with how to hold her and if she was comfortable, was her neck bending weird, etc etc. My sister told me (and I've always remembered it with every baby I've held since) "If she's not comfortable, you'll know." It's so true! As long as she's not fussing, she's fine.

ailene said...

I have two babies... and I actually really LIKE the "Sleep when the baby sleeps" advice." The reason why some people don't like it, is because they figure it's the only time that they have to get things done. Well, perhaps you don't have to sleep EVERY time that the baby sleeps... but trust me... you'll need your sleep! I speak from experience with two little ones! :)

I still sleep when my children sleep. It's the only way I can survive! :)

ailene said...

Oh... and one of the worst pieces of advice I've ever received is, "Wait until your contractions hurt so much that you can't walk" (or something like that) "prior to departing for the hospital."

If I would have waited that long, I would have had the baby in the car! Trust your gut... if you think it's time to leave for the hospital... it's time to leave! :)

Kathy said...

So as a mom of 5 the only advice I have is....
Wait nothing is coming to mind other than .. Good Luck!
Great to read about you via your blog.
Ours is

Whimsy said...

Okay, noted about the wait time for the hospital trip. There is no way on this green earth that I'm giving birth in a car. This... will not happen.

And KATHY! Welcome! I had no idea you were peeking in... I'm so glad.

emily said...

k ... advise should always be taken with a healthy dose of 'i'll see if that works for me' and 'you must be crazy if you think i'm gonna try that' ... being a mother of 4 is a strange place to be - i still feel like i'm a rookie at somethings and could use a LOT of advise. but have gleaned from the large amount that i have received a few gems. and they are mostly unique to my situation ... and mostly the advise that will be most helpful will be just that - unique to you and actually helpful!
the only advise i feel i am qualified to give is: every child is different, they come wired they way they are and as soon as you can figure out how to read them, help them learn.
nursing is a wonderful, personal, sometimes difficult skill to learn - for mom and baby - and if you need/want help i'd be happy to. BUT don't feel like you HAVE to do it ... there are millions of babies that don't nurse and they are just fine. don't feel pressured one way or the other - do what's best for you and miss bean.
lastly, let/make chip help all he can! he is a wonderful man and i know his heart - he wants to be the best daddy ever - shoot! he wants to be the best and everything he does! he will be a big help and if he can't he'll find someone who can. Rely on him and tell him that he's the best - new daddies are nervous sometimes but they learn quickly.
o and one more - you don't have to be cordial - when you bring home miss bean and people come to visit - help them be brief (unless you're ok with long visits) and have a list of things that need to be done on your fridge or counter ... so that when your visitors say "can i help with anything?" you have a list of things that they can do!
most of all - enjoy EVERY MINUTE of baby bean - because it's totally cliche but it's true that they grow up WAY too fast!!

emily said...

ps ... sorry that was SO long ... ;D

ailene said...

Good idea to have a list around Emily!