the things he says

He says some wonderful things to me. Occasionally things that I don’t even hear because I’ve apparently grown a type of sweetness callous. I wish I could carry a tape recorder in my pocket for some of these times – times when he looks at me with surpassing gentleness and whispers something that melts my heart.

Instead, I remember the goofy stuff. Like when I was (badly) singing a Christmas carol two weeks ago and he busts in, “You know what I think is the worst lyric for a Christmas song ever? That part in Winter Wonderland that goes ‘And then, we’ll perspire as we dream by the fire.’” To which I laughed until I CRIED as I tried to clear up the confusion. “That’s not what it says. It’s ‘Then we’ll conspire as we dream by the fire.’” His final word on the subject (as I continued to laugh myself silly): “Oh. That makes more sense. And is much better. Less sweat.”

I think of the times I've walked in on him talking to Fergus about something like the nature of the spots on Fergus’ belly. Or the songs he makes up for Phoebe. These are the precious little moments that fly by us. We won’t remember them in 6 months or a year. We’ll forget he had a name for the time he and Fergus spend hunched on the stairs (it’s called “sphinxing”, apparently, because of the way they both sit with their legs on a lower stair and their arms resting on an upper stair – looking much like, you guessed it: the Sphinx).

He talks to the Bean every night - sometimes in Spanish, sometimes in English - letting her know we’re so excited for her entrance, but STAY IN THERE – IT’S STILL TOO EARLY. He tells her that she’s lucky because she gets to spend so much time with me.

He has given me a few chestnuts that have helped me to not only better communicate with the world – but have also helped me to better understand myself. One of them is something I’ve used recently, “It hurts like MAD, but as long as I know I’m not permanently damaging myself, I can handle the pain. I’m fine with the pain.” Another one of these he stumbled upon really early in our marriage – “It’s stupid for me to be mad at you for not doing something the way I’d do it. We each have different strengths and weaknesses. Instead, I’m going to try to step in and help with the things that I do well. And I’d love it if you could do the same.”

He says that he's learned a lot from me. I can say the same. Hopefully I'm saying that now.