Monday, December 17, 2007

the things he says

He says some wonderful things to me. Occasionally things that I don’t even hear because I’ve apparently grown a type of sweetness callous. I wish I could carry a tape recorder in my pocket for some of these times – times when he looks at me with surpassing gentleness and whispers something that melts my heart.

Instead, I remember the goofy stuff. Like when I was (badly) singing a Christmas carol two weeks ago and he busts in, “You know what I think is the worst lyric for a Christmas song ever? That part in Winter Wonderland that goes ‘And then, we’ll perspire as we dream by the fire.’” To which I laughed until I CRIED as I tried to clear up the confusion. “That’s not what it says. It’s ‘Then we’ll conspire as we dream by the fire.’” His final word on the subject (as I continued to laugh myself silly): “Oh. That makes more sense. And is much better. Less sweat.”

I think of the times I've walked in on him talking to Fergus about something like the nature of the spots on Fergus’ belly. Or the songs he makes up for Phoebe. These are the precious little moments that fly by us. We won’t remember them in 6 months or a year. We’ll forget he had a name for the time he and Fergus spend hunched on the stairs (it’s called “sphinxing”, apparently, because of the way they both sit with their legs on a lower stair and their arms resting on an upper stair – looking much like, you guessed it: the Sphinx).

He talks to the Bean every night - sometimes in Spanish, sometimes in English - letting her know we’re so excited for her entrance, but STAY IN THERE – IT’S STILL TOO EARLY. He tells her that she’s lucky because she gets to spend so much time with me.

He has given me a few chestnuts that have helped me to not only better communicate with the world – but have also helped me to better understand myself. One of them is something I’ve used recently, “It hurts like MAD, but as long as I know I’m not permanently damaging myself, I can handle the pain. I’m fine with the pain.” Another one of these he stumbled upon really early in our marriage – “It’s stupid for me to be mad at you for not doing something the way I’d do it. We each have different strengths and weaknesses. Instead, I’m going to try to step in and help with the things that I do well. And I’d love it if you could do the same.”

He says that he's learned a lot from me. I can say the same. Hopefully I'm saying that now.

11 comments:

Artemisia said...

Oh, lordy this is sweet.

Sweet.

The Wife said...

Wow.

Just.


Wow.

We love The Chip! And also the sphinxing. And also the STAY IN THERE. I kept expecting you to write, AND LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER.

hugs for you and the Chip!

Chip said...

Upon learning of the lyrical mis-interpretation/perceptions of Conspiration vs. Prespiration makes me question many of life's so called "givens". Needless to say, I feel smarter now.

Anyone who gets a chance to hangout with my wife knows that she is an electric blanket of warmth and a deep well of genuine sincerity.

She is unbelievably wicked smart, and she is a fierce loyal friend.. I know this because she befriended a real life mental accident who has a dark humorous gravitation and attractions to blunders. (Me)

I try hard and she still loves me. Bean is going to have the best mom ever!!

stacie d said...

i'm feeling a combo of:

25% depressed that i'm still single

74% happy that you found someone so great

1% thinking "perspire" actually makes a bit more sense than "conspire" - it's hot by the fire!

tearese said...

aw, it sounds like you guys are perfect for each other.

ailene said...

Awww... how sweet! :)

Natalie said...

Came over from Swistle. This is such a lovely post. I can "hear" the love in it.

Whimsy said...

Welcome, Natalie!!!

Stacie: Chip & I discussed that this might be the one & only Christmas song where sweating would make sense. But then again, it's not the sweetest of topics...

emily said...

he really is a most endearing man isn't he ... you'll be glad to know that those of us that have known him quite a while think that he was quite an winning kid, semi-appealing teenager, extremely engaging missionary and just flat charming young man! you got a good one!

Pickles & Dimes said...

I am really digging the comment about strengths and weaknesses. I really need to introduce that concept to Jason, who sometimes gets exasperated that I do things my way rather then his "it's always better/faster/smarter" way.

I am dying about the "perspire/conspire" mixup. I do the same thing all the time. (I once thought the lyrics to the Red Hot Chili Peppers' song, "Roller Coaster" went: "No me gusta - the love," instead of "Rollercoaster of love." When Jason found out, he laughed/cried for days.)

ailene said...

Pickles and Dimes... that reminds me of my own lyrical misunderstanding... Boot Scoot and Boogie was one of my favorite songs as a child... you know why?

Because of the pancakes...

...Cadillac, Flapjack...