Tuesday, November 20, 2007

threat level orange

I've decided to take a cue from the Department of Homeland Security, and identify my level of stress using their very official Homeland Security Advisory System. It is easy to say that I am clearly NEVER at Threat Level Green (Low Risk of Anxiety Attack). My baseline is more at Threat Level Blue (Guarded - General Risk of Anxiety Attack).

Current Threat Level
After careful consideration of the newly updated and intricately cross-referenced To Do List, The Whimsy has upgraded to Threat Level Orange (High Risk of Anxiety Attack and Imminent Possibility of Meltdown). The National Whimsy Gut Instinct Estimate has cited heightened activity around the Whimsy household (including the upcoming hardwood flooring installation taking place on Tuesday); Generalized Holiday Stress; Pregnancy; Preparing for Child; Upcoming Church Christmas Party; and Work Tasks as contributing factors.

These Creamery Anxiety Threat Advisories will continue through the holidays, and will contain not only Current Anxiety Level Updates, but also actionable information (when applicable) about incidents involving, or a threat targeting, critical Whimsy networks, infrastructures, or key assets.


The Wife said...

Do you think it's too early in the season for me to go in to hiding?

ailene said...

Hmmm... what does level orange mean for the TSA? When I was at the airports this past week... I heard that the level was orange...