the rain in spain falls mainly on the PLANE

Alice and I will be winging our way to North Carolina in a mere two days. TWO DAYS, PEOPLE. I would be All Excitement, All the Time if I wasn't facing a rather heinous plane trek on Saturday. I don't mind the travel for myself... I mean, I actually kinda like flying. It's just the whole flying-with-toddler thing that has me sweating.


The facts:

- Alice is walking, but not exclusively walking. Which means that she likes to hunker down on hands-and-knees just about where ever I'd rather she didn't. Case in point: the floor of the Richland Hampton Inn dining room/breakfast area. Not pretty. And she's ALL ABOUT eating stuff she finds down there.
Consideration: I can't carry her all the time, and while we're waiting during our layover in Kansas City (I think it's Kansas City) she's going to need to have some run around time. So if you need me on Saturday afternoon, you can find me pulling all kinds of nastiness out of my child's mouth (nastiness that she has dredged from the floor of the Kansas City Airport).

- The security checkpoint. When I went through it the first time I flew with Alice to Salt Lake, I actually burst into TEARS due to the sheer stress of trying to unload everything, take off my shoes, fit the carseat in the tiny little x-ray door, and hold my child. I ended up bonking Alice's head on the carseat when I bent over. Nice mothering there, Whimsy.
Consideration: My mother-in-law is coming with me to the airport here in Seattle, and can get a special pass to help us through the checkpoint. This is the one thought I'm clinging to to avoid any tears. That, and the hope that my dearest friend The Wife will come through security with me on the way back... (that was a hint, duder).

- The ginormous, larger-than-a-compact car convertible carseat. Ugh. Just ugh.
Consideration: I have considered going back to Babies R Us and buying the special wheelie cart that will fit a convertible carseat, but then I think of my husband's face at the expense of that little item and I change my mind. I am just not so looking forward to getting that monstrosity to the plane for gate check, and getting it OFF the plane? Oh boy. I am praying for some very kind strangers, that's what.


Now that I have bored you to tears with this madness, let's just put this whole topic out to pasture. In the end, we'll get there to NC. We will have a fabulous time. We will get to love on my dearest friend and her darling husband and her sweet child. We will eat Nilla Wafers (it's a thing). We will laugh until our tears run dry. It's going to be great.


Also: totally off topic, but am I the only one who has ever, maybe, in VERY RARE CIRCUMSTANCES ever put a perfectly clean dish back into the dishwasher because she just couldn't face putting the thing away? Just me? Okay then.